Should I Delete Him Off Facebook?

Oh and just to add – back story – reason for this would be he went to a festival and slept around (just found this out) then disappeared for 2 weeks, he lied that he doesn’t take drugs, he tells me he likes me etc, arranges to see me, then ghosts me. I haven’t spoken to him at all, and he’s made no effort. This isn’t the actions of a friend. We aren’t exclusive but I do find it disrespectful.

And please no lectures – I know my mistakes now :(

Move on please this guy clearly is not interested in anything further.
If, he contacts you again do not respond to him.
In the future if you think you want more from a man set the tone early on.
I say this because if you try later on a man will not change his mind.
Lastly, this is not a friend. My friends don’t treat me poorly and disappear for weeks.

I disagree with keep the whole FB page. I’m more about making the wonder what I have been up to. After a while I forget all about the guy anyways becuse he is out of sight out of mind.

Men say a lot of things. It’s in his words and actions that will show you the truth. Keep that in mind.

Since you mentioned you are young, now is a chance to turn things around and be better for the next guy that comes along.

Agree with Phoebe. Don’t delete, just hide (unfollow) his posts. His posts rile you up, and deleting him shows that he is getting to yo,u and he is on your radar.

He should not be on your radar!!! He sounds like more trouble than he is worth. Hide his posts until you can see them with no emotional reaction.

Agree with Khadija too. He’s not really a friend. He’s just a guy who is not yet a man with principles.

The ladies on this forum are on fire lately with great advice! Y’all rock!

Be you, be fabulous, forget this clown.

Thanks Ollie – ‘be fabulous’ – with those two words I’ve just felt my crown move back on to my head :p I’ve unfollowed him, I just heard what I heard tonight and saw red. I’ve defo improved on past me though – past me would be texting asking him what the hell is going on! Current me respects that right now we are nothing so I’ve no right to be concerned.

Thanks Jordan – I don’t really consider him a friend after this. Can’t wait until I no longer feel hurt.

Should he come back – or grovel – preferably grovel – how do I ensure this does not occur? I have pretty good self esteem but I do sometimes worry that I’m a bit too nice/doormat. Should I be upfront about it, the things that irritate me, or just act cool?

He mostly likely will come back but take heed to what I say next.
Men only come back for a few reasons that I’ve noticed over the years.

1. They are bored and scrolling through the phone
2. They are horny and want sex
3. Recently got dumped and need an ego boost.
4. They are sorry and want another chance.

*Notice what I put last.

Keep in mind the past is a great indicator of the future in regards to men. If he treated you like crap in the past he’s rarely going to come back acting like a saint and worshiping the ground you walk on.

I can feel you are hoping that he will grovel and pout for forgiveness. He probably won’t to be honest. He’ll put minimal effort in and then bam you’ll be back to square one. Don’t fall for it or be that girl a guy can mistreat but, be allowed back in weeks or months later.

You have been warned my dear.

Khadija – thanks for that. Shall I just move on and forget about him completely? It’s just draining. I guess I just sort of wish that he actually cared.

MD,
I know you may really like this guy but I think it’s best you completely move on. A man that is truly interested in you will NOT go MIA, he will pursue you and his interest in you will be clear as day. If you continue to stay around, you are only setting yourself up for more mistreatment from him. And you don’t need/deserve that. Love yourself enough to know that you deserve to be treated like the beautiful queen you are, and any man who can’t be bothered to do so doesn’t need to be in your life.

*wishing

I really don’t think I have an issue with self-love or self-esteem. I don’t say that to be annoying or defensive but I have an awful lot to be happy about right now. I feel 10x more confidence since I’ve lost weight, I have lots of plans with friends and family and I made it clear as day to him that I was looking for this and won’t compromise. I speak to other men and I am genuinely very happy single hence why I didn’t tell him I want a relationship – just that I would be willing to explore that option. I will be honest though, when a man comes on the scene I can get a bit cagey myself because I’ve been burned before. I wish I could love freely without worrying he will hurt me or leave – is that a self esteem thing? I put that down to the fact it’s happened recently. 70% of me does not want him. He is NOT right for me. 30% of me really cares about him and knows he is a decent man below his faults. and that is where my problem lies. This part of me sees potential when I should really take him for the lazy, flakey, commitment phobe he is. I guess I just can’t be bothered with the hard feelings from deletion. He’s a crap friend though so why should I feel bad? Thanks ladies. X

I personally believe deleting him is dramatic, that thought and action will still be with you for a while.

I would just simply deactivate the Facebook for a few weeks and then hide him in the background. Slow and incremental action build resilience. No ones mood will have to go ups and downs.

I think deleting is the right thing. And he probably won’t even notice. But yes, thinking that the guy will leave you is a self esteem thing. If you can get to a place, when you think you are so cool that anyone would be crazy to leave you, I think you will feel less anxious about dating in general. Fake it til you make it, as they say, but practice makes perfect. Take good loving care of yourself, like you have been doing, and the weight maintenance, exercise, friends, all the good things you have been doing, will become habits.