Should I ghost him?

men can sense desperation and pathetic clinginess a mile away. OP, you are both of these things. i second phillygirl — work on yourself first, because right now you’re in no position to be dating.

don’t spread your legs a few weeks into knowing someone if you want them to take you seriously / respect you.

homegirl was trying to play wifey after giving it up for next to nothing.

she’s desperate, he’s checked out. time to move on and learn.

You miss the point Anon. The only reason she wanted to bring him soup was because she probably wanted to verify he was really sick and she also used it as an excuse to see him on Friday regardless of him saying he was ill. You don’t think anyone can’t see through that? I had a girlfriend who used to get too attached to men early on in dating. I was at her apartment one evening and she was getting ready to go over and see him. He sent her a text asking for a rain check because he was sick. She tried to do the same thing. Started insisting on going over to take care of him. He refused. The next day he told her things weren’t going to work out. Was he really sick? Who knows. But if someone makes an excuse not to see me, pushing forward with an excuse to see them anyway is annoying. Even for me. If I don’t feel good and want to hunker down and rest, and look crappy, and not have to interact with anyone, I’m not going to appreciate someone disregarding my ask for alone time, just because they have it in their head to see me. Bombarding someone with loving texts doesn’t mean anything. When a man throws out all this future talk with me this early on, I take it with a grain of salt and think to myself, how can he ask about what kind of wedding I want? He barely knows me! Does that even make any sense. I really hope the OP doesn’t go down the path of having a talk with this guy. Because I can almost him him say to her, I told you I wanted to take things slow and I’m not ready for a relationship right now.

I have to laugh- my ex. We were together for 20 years. I brought him tea and lozenges when he had the flu within a month of meeting him. Also, the last guy I dated got sick, sent me a pic of him being sick and I jokingly texted back that I’d bring soup. He responded very positively to that and while we didn’t last (we had a difference on having kids), it was a good relationship that grew from when I “desperately” offered to bring him soup.

Its interesting about the whole “Desperation” and soup thing. I was literally so sick and this one guy offered to bring me soup. I wonder if he’d be considered desperate and crazy? I just took it as someone wanting to help me out in my time of need because no way would I have been physically capable or willing to get my own soup….crackers and some ginger ale. I don’t know. I will agree to disagree with the ones who think diffrecently than me. It won’t break my heart. It’s also sad to think that that kind of suggestion or offer is considered desperate,clingy, or crazy. But ok I guess. I’ve never offered to bring over soup to someone but when someone offered it up to me, I didn’t think he was desperate, just interested. And I’ve seen crazy…offering soup up to them isn’t in my opinion crazy or desperate though but majority does so oh well. The guy isn’t worth it if he is weirded out by that gesture….money saved and no time wasted. On to the next

I’m not the OP. And I do think you need to wait to have sex.

I just think it’s funny that literally the OP’s 2 texts are perceived as needy and desperate, which are really negative terms. Especially in light of some crazy things I’ve seen and had happen to me while dating.

Desperate is my ex’s side piece showing up on his front lawn threatening to slit her wrists.
Crazy is the guy I dated who stalked me via tax records and showed up at my house after 4 dates when I could not text for a day due to work meetings.
Needy is the girl my friend was dating who texted him 20 times with no response while we were at lunch.

When I compare that with “the guy I dated got sick and I sent one text offering to bring him soup and then asked him out the next weekend” she doesn’t exactly register on my radar. Maybe she is clueless, chasing a lost cause. But it’s not like she hopped on the bus to crazy town. She probably had a 50% chance of the guy taking her up on soup.

Anon,

Lol, exactly. I have a long list of crazy and desperate things guys have done to me alone that would surely come off as desperate, clingy, needy and crazy, and I have been VERY honest with what I wanted from them.

One of my friends literally has done things out of depseration and VERY NEEDY…a lot of you would have a field day with her alone lol.