Home › Forums › Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals › Should I go back?
- This topic has 8 replies and was last updated 1 month, 2 weeks ago by
Tammy.
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Emma
Hi!
My husband and I have been happily married for 5 years now. I have been attending a cycling class for about a year, and there’s a guys in this class that likes me even though he knows I’m married. I have never talked bad about my marriage or my husband, but he’s shown interest in me multiple times. I started to find myself gravitating toward him and I’ve grown to like him as well but I have no intention of acting on my feelings because I want to remail loyal to my husband.
Last time I saw him, he and I kept looking at each other several times during the class. I felt very guilty after the class and have stopped going. One of our common friends have reached out to me to see why I haven’t been going to the class lately and I just said I’ve been busy with family stuff.
Now, I want to go back to the class on semi-regular basis because our instructor was really good and I miss my friends in the class.
Do you think it’s a good idea to go back to class?
mama
It’s natural to develop crushes on other people while married, but think about where your focus is. Are you putting energy and priority on your marriage or finding distractions? There are so many things that pull couples apart, maybe try to focus on ones that build your partnership, even if it’s things you do on your own.
If it were me, I’d either focus my attention on the class and the instructor — Eliminate this guy from your radar. Or find another class. He sounds unstrustworthy even as just a friend if he knows you’re married and doesn’t care.
Emma
Thank you for your response, mama!
You’re right, I should stop going if it’s negatively impacting my marriage. I suppose I’ll go a couple of times and see if I can stay off his radar. If not, I’ll join a different class.
Raven
How is it that you & this guy have common friends?
Emma
These are friends from our class.
Tammy
Can you change the timing if your class?
Emma
Tammy, I can change the timing of the class. However, I would not be able to see my friends from the class anymore, which sucks. I feel like I’m missing out as we kept each other motivated. I occasionally hangout with them outside of the class now, just not the same.
AngieBaby
Have a break and then go back. You’re clear this guy is not of interest to you, so no need to deprive yourself of seeing your friends.
Tammy
Hey if you think you can ignore this guy thn its ok to go for that class if u want to workout with ur frnds. But if you feel attrctd thn its best to avoid him even if it means changing your class timings.
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