Home › Forums › How To Get My Ex Back › Should I invite him for dinner or a walk
- This topic has 6 replies and was last updated 3 years, 8 months ago by
Sara.
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Sara
We broke up last Sunday, last time we saw eachother was last Monday. He invited me to join him for yoga last Wednesday. I told him I didn’t want to get my hopes up only to be crushed again. He said he understood, and hopes I can be comfortable soon.
I keep thinking of inviting him for dinner or a walk. I am not sure what I am hoping for. I guess part of me wants to see if my feelings have changed and he is no longer what I want. I also feel it might be partly so he can beg for me back! Lol.
Just being honest.
My only fear is what if we hang out and instead of us just talking, or whatever he decides to say what a great week he has had, and he has been dating up a storm. Which I am sure is very unlikely due to the fact our covid number are high again and we are heading into a 3rd lock down.
Maybe I miss my lockdown guy…. maybe I really have moved on… thoughts?Raven
Of course you miss him, that’s normal & ok.
It’s only been a week… Too soon to be ‘friends.’
Why did you two break up?Sara
Basically I wanted more than him. I ended it because he didn’t want a relationship and I did.
Raven
‘ He said he understood, and hopes I can be comfortable soon.’ He hasn’t changed his mind.
‘I keep thinking of inviting him for dinner or a walk.’ Your setting yourself up for more of the same…
T from NY
Love yourself the MOST and the best every.single.day. Practicing self love isn’t always easy just like exercise, getting good sleep or meditation isn’t always easy.
Steer clear of TEPID MEN. Of course he may want to hang out with you. Maybe you’re lovely, and all things nice, and out of his league. Why wouldn’t he? But practice self love. Tell him no. Tend to you. Heal. And move on. He doesn’t get the pleasure of being with you until, IF and when, you’re welll past him. (I wouldn’t do it then either – but that’s just me)
Lane
This is not how you go about it. A man doesn’t suddenly change his mind. Only when a man does will he let you know and do everything, and anything to get you back!!! If a man does not do this then his mind is still closed to the idea, and there is absolutely nothing you can say or do to change it, when his mind has not changed.
In these situations it is BEST to take the “out of sight, out of mind” approach to wean yourself off of him. By shutting this down, now, will allow you to lose your feelings much quicker than treating it like a scab where you keep ‘picking at it’ just to prolong the inevitable.
Trust me when I say when a man changes his mind, even after a long time has passed (several months to over a year), they will step up in a huge major way, to the point, you are so skeptical about their motives, that it takes YOU a lot of time (several months) to finally believe they are, in fact, ALL IN by pushing for the relationship. I married one (lasted over 20 years); and have been my with my current partner, for over 4 years, who came back nine months later with a completely different ‘mindset.’ Until a man’s mindset is “I ABSOLTELY WANT A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU”, don’t give them a lick of your time or attention!
Sara
Thank you for your advice. You are right, he is a grown man and if he wanted me back he would make it known.
I accidentally sent him a text the other night (meant to send to someone else, it was a honest mistake. 100%) he messaged me back right away and said he has been wanting to message me but trying to respect the situation and give me space. He said he misses me a lot and asked if I would like to go for a walk or hike sometime. It made me so hopeful and excited. I thought of these comments and it dawned on me, if he wanted me back.. or his feelings changed he would have tried to set something up. I think this just proves I am not ready to try and be friends -
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