Should I message him- this is gonna be long sorry!!

So there is this guy and at first we were all cute and flirty and I could tell he was really into to me, and he found me in insta we did the whole liking each other posts and I message him first, about him leaving me at work alone tomorrow, things went well we went on our first date to the park and talked for 4 hours staright about everything and he kissed me, it was my first kiss so I was a bit shocked and stuff he messaged me that night and he would always say morning messages, then out second date we went back to his, this was during lockdown easing when nothing was open, and so things happened, I told him I wasn’t ready for all that and he said he would wait for me, but honestly idk what he was going to say I thought he said I hope you don’t want a boyfriend, I thought I heard those words and I said no casual is fine,I meant like cute dates and obvs doing stuff but nothing serious and we agreed summer fun, please note he never used his phone on the first and second time we met not once did he check it or anything I didn’t check mine either, he even let me have his phone whilst we were playing a game on his phone, he did however use his phone the third send fourth time we met, but anywya we met the third time and I said I don’t want him to be with other girls and he said yes we are exclusive, after that we failed to do it and I was annoyed but it was more cus I wanted to do it with him idk if he took that in the wrong way though, and he always holds my hand kisses me ect, and after we do stuff we cuddle and stuff and he doesn’t tell me to go, however at times he says he is busy which I get everyone is and he was trying to get another job which I understand and then when I asked to meet he says he is going somewhere with a friend an emergency for his friend and then to meet a friends he hasn’t seen in ages and it was annoying, but I would see him at work, he started messaging less after the third time but he said he was gonna be busy that whole week and it turned into three weeks and then we met again, and during that time he only started the convo once, idk if I was a big too full on saying to him at work when are we gonna meet cus I just wanted to meet him, one time we tried and he said yes to the day and then I never heard from him until I asked Soo?? What about today? And he said he had to go to work with his dad and would send me screenshot of his location to show he really was far away (I thought that was a abit 😂😂) he also said he would meet me that day but I was on my period and he said he would meet me still he didn’t care either way, but we didn’t meet that day, so eventually we met after 4 weeks, we saw each other occasionally at work again, but idk I felt something was off we met the 4th time though we talked in the car and I was smiling at my phone and he was looking ame and I explained it was my niece and he said he would ask me about that stuff that is my business idk what that meant, as in he doesn’t want to know about my life or he wouldn’t check to see if I am talk to anyone else? We talk briefly about his ex and he said she wasn’t the one for him and that they argued alot and she checked up alot on him (hence the screenshots of his location he sends me) and anyway he introduced me to some of his friends that day it was a bit awks they spoke another language at times but he always translated what they said and he had my legs on his and was sitting next to me the whole time, after this I told him don’t make me wait another three week from you, like obvs I wanna do stuff but I also wanna acc see him, I felt like when we talked about that stuff the convo just died and so I stopped being it up as much I just assumed that is what he wanted from me cus he got out of a relationship I think min 8months ago and so he just wanted to f*** around, but idk he is confusing, and he messaged me alot less, he also wanted me to go to the beach with him and his friends on then second time we met but I said no cus idk him well but after the third time we met I said I would deffo go the next time, anyway so after the fourth time and he said he would find us a place to go to a nice hotel ect, he never did he said he was busy with trying for this second job, and I said to him before when he sent me screenshots I have no reason to doubt right now to so I am gonna believe what you say so I believed him, we talked alot less though and before he would say why he was busy, but idk it felt off, he said one day at work that he could meet me the following weekend and I stupid said I am on my period then I can’t, but I didn’t mean it in that way just I thought best to say instead of turning up and being like lol soz yeah, I explained it to him on message that I didn’t mean it to mean that I am using you for one reason I do enjoy spending time with you and I do like you, his response was don’t worry and don’t overthink that much, I know most people will be like wtf!? That is it, but to me I felt I got the message I was trying to get across and it honstly felt like I cleared up our misunderstanding that I thought we had, he said he’d let me know about next weekend, he never message I saw him at work the week of the weekend he was gonna be off but we couldn’t talk much then one day he was like I have bad news (I expected it) he said he was leaving the job today I was okay with that cus I thought oh so the second job worked out, but actually he was going to go to another country to sort out some personal stuff and he was leaving the next day, and would be gone three weeks, I was so baffled and shocked idk what to say and idk what he expected? And after two mins I said I wouldn’t wait for him and he said he understands that, after that he ignored me twice at work then we went back to our normal flirty selves and he was asking about what my plans are as I am leaving the job cus I am going back to uni and I was talking about my house situation choosing rooms cus the three other people I will be living with have significant others so they will end up making me take the smallest room but we all pay the same rent, he said why don’t I get myself a boyfriend then and we both paused and looked at each other and then he said or play rock paper scissors honestly he confused me so much I messaged after work and said what did he expected me to say to his news did he want me to wait, and he said it’s up to me and I should do what I want based on how I feel and let him know, and I said if I waited I still expect exclusive and that idk if he wants to or could give me that and I said he confused me, he said that he was busy getting ready to leave and that he would reply later he never did, I said he needed to reply before he left, I know catching a flight is alot so I said dw, and I sent my number (lol yes we never asked for each others numbers I think for both of us things got too far and messed up and we didn’t know how to ask) so I sent my number and said call if it’s easier, he said he would and it was 4 days and he didn’t, I messaged again and was like look I get where you stand on all this stuff I admit I messed up a bit and was confused about what I want but I sort of know now and I know where you stand so I don’t regret anything and it was nice getting to know you and I said to make it all lighter that I was jealous he was ok holiday, I didn’t expect a reply at all tbh I unsent my number aswell, and I just left it, but he did reply and said we will meet when he gets back and that we will talk many things and that he is on holiday and doesn’t have much interent (I know probs a lie what country barley have internet) maybe it is true idk, I said yeah sure, but idk if he will acc meet me or not at this point, please note whenever I am like you’re avoiding me or when I sent those message about coming off wrong he always replied instantly and basically we end up staying in whatever sitaution we are in, he doesn’t let me go in a way and I don’t want to let go either, I admit at first when he was more into me I was abit confused and didn’t give back as much as he did but now I’m not,since that last interaction we haven’t message each other, he has however posted on insta and I popped up to him the last time and we started talking again, and it low-key annoyed me cus he said he hasn’t got much internet and then posted on insta story, idk if I should I really want to message him honestly I do miss him and I do overthink a bit 😂😂😂I know that, part of me does believe he noticed I unsent my number and that he knows he messed up posting in insta when he said he hasn’t got much internet also think he maybe feeling that she said he liked me and now she is saying she can’t even wait three weeks for me and the waiting for him ain’t an issue it was just he said it litteraly last min, I was deffo the last person to know it felt like he didn’t care enough to tell me and he was planning to do whatever there since he told me so last min, I know we ain’t in a relationship, I do believe things happen for a reason and that if something is meant to be it will be but I know he also thinks like that, cus we are both so similar in some ways and we get on with each other so well it’s weird I have never felt that that comfortable with someone so easily, and it’s been a whole week since we last message and that was an awks convo obvs, but I never stay angry at things and what if he thinks I am annoyed or that I only wanna talk about that situation when all I want is to head from him, but I know he is on holiday so I should leave him alone I guess, but I do wanna message him, and talk about ordinary things like we used to, I could wait to more days and see if he messages as I have a test on that day (dw I focused on that no boy/man will make me that unfocused) and he asked when it was an I told him so I can see if he messages and I know I should let go if he doesn’t message that day and I know my worth that if he don’t message he really has moved on and I shouldn’t wait on someone like that and I am scared to find that out, cus knowing was could be and wasn’t isn’t fun, but idk what if he feels awks to message cus of posting on insta and also he dk what to say to me at all and thinks I don’t care at all since I said I liked him and then turned around and said I wouldn’t wait for him, (sorry for spelling mistakes)