Should I move on?

Here’s the thing, just because a guy’s profile says he’s looking for a relationship, it doesn’t mean the relationship will be with YOU. Sorry to be blunt.

We have no way of knowing if this guy will reach out again. After 5 dates, it’s not a good sign that his contact is dropping off. If a guy is into you, he’ll start escalating his attention after several dates, not diminishing it.

He’s probably dating other women (which is fine, you’re not committed to each other) and he may have found someone he clicks with better.

Raven has a good point that you’ve done a lot of initiating. All you can do is sit back and see if this guy gets in touch. He may fade out, he may come back, but I wouldn’t expect anything serious from him if he does come back. Like I said, if he were strongly interested in you he would not ignore you!

it is easy to say date multiple men at the same time especially if we like someone, but I know men date at least 2 girls at the same time and then decide which one they are more compatible with .
he knows how to contact you and like Liz said he might be looking for a relationship but not necessarily with you. Men know that if they put on their profiles ‘I am looking for fun’, chances of them meeting someone are really low.

Why are you so invested in this guy after only 4 dates?

Who cares what he is doing, if he is fading out, or if he is losing interest. It isn’t a reflection on you!

Date others. If this one shows up again, date him or don’t. 5 weeks and 4 dates is hardly time enough to decide on a long term relationship commitment.

My opinion is a bit different.

I feel like you’re not giving this connection some breathing room. Guys will take space when they feel things are getting too much or going too fast ahead. You were both initiating but I feel that once the graduation event came around he shifted his attention to his friends for that weekend. You initiated a conversation and he responded which is a good sign. However, you initiated again asking him to come to this bar, which even to me feels like you’re trying to get his attention and getting in his face a bit too much honestly. Let him have some time away from you, let him miss you some. Let him think about you and wonder what you’re doing.
It’s far from playing games, it’s just logic. Too much of anything will bore anyone.

See I was once were you are now. He ended up being my boyfriend eventually but before then, I was always pushing or asking about the next meet up every damn weekend. I forgot I had friends of my own. We had too much fun together I’m talking hikes, picnics, car rides, dinners, movies, club hopping, concerts, game night, even bbqs at his house. Both of us was initiating which is why I didn’t realize it was a bit much. Until he had to tell me to give him some space. It hurt me, I thought he was losing interest. No woman wants to hear a man ask for space. But he wasn’t losing interest he just wanted his “me” time and do something without me which is completely normal. If I had kept pushing then yes he would have lost interest. So this is what it looks like to me.

You have to give the man some space. I don’t mean go cold, I mean go see your friends. Do something for yourself away from him and trust the process. Let him choose you don’t make him feel like he’s being pushed to choose you.

Rubi has a really good point, generally speaking, about giving space (especially at the beginning of dating when things are going well- you still need space).

However in this case, it’s been 2 weekends in a row that she hasn’t seen the guy (and last weekend she didn’t even hear a peep out of him). He’s not initiating contact at all. I think this situation is a lost cause– the guy is probably seeing someone else. Whatever the reason, he’s lost interest, I think. No guy who wanted a woman would let 2 weekends go by without seeing her and risk losing her to another guy.

This is encouraging about your bf. How long did he go nc with you? We haven’t talked in 4 days almost

Yeah we haven’t talked to eachother since Friday evening and it’s definitely his turn to reach out.so it’s been almost 4 days. I will say last weekend he did have out of town people staying with him but I still feel he would have contacted me by now even just to check in.

I guess it’s weird because he technically hasn’t reached out in a week and a half but at the same time the only ways that I kind of reached out to him in the past week are by sending him a Snapchat. He is the one who initiated conversation though by chatting me in the app. I don’t know how familiar you guys are with Snapchat but you can send a picture to multiple people at the same time which is what I did but then he would personally reply to me in the chat

what is so special about him that you needed to chase him? I am not sure how old you are , but like others said, at the beginning a guy should be the one initiating , it is ok to do it once to show some interests as some guys are shy and sometimes don’t know where they stand, but once he knows he should pursue you.
don’t bother with this guy

Somebody above mentioned something about men lying about wanting to be in a relationship. So I thought that I would my violence so that.

1. Yes men do often lie about looking for a relationship. They will say ‘I am looking for something serious. I am tired of casually dating. It is all so mechanical and soulless isn’t it?’ They know this is what women want to hear.

2. Men need to have all their ducks in a row or they will not seriously consider entering into a relationship. If his career seems to be stalling,or he feels he might have to move to another apartment for a variety of reasons he will not want to get seriously involved with someone. Men will not want the additional bother of a relationship if thinks are not right in their lives. This may sound ridiculous to women who generally view relationships as something fun,exciting something to take their minds off work or accommodation problems. I

3.The sexes see things so very differently in so many things that what is black to a woman is white to a man and vice-versa.

I totally agree with Across the Atlantic– and to add something I learned from this forum/website (which I had never really considered before)…..generally speaking, men don’t date to find relationships. Men date for sex and companionship and fun. They get into a relationship when they meet a woman who knocks their socks off– someone they can’t imagine living without. They will gladly commit to a woman who they have fallen for– a woman who that man thinks makes his life better by having her in it.

Women have the opposite approach. We date to find relationships. We meet guys with the mindset that we hope it turns into a relationship– before we even really know him. We’ll commit to a guy even if we’re feeling lukewarm about him, because we will try to build a relationship and see if the feelings grow. Men don’t do this.

There are exceptions to this of course, but generally speaking it’s true.

I think men put “looking for a relationship” in their dating profiles because they know it’s what women want to hear, yes. I also think that they *theoretically* would be interested in a relationship if they met the right woman. The woman who knocks their socks off. Most men won’t commit to a relationship with a woman they just think is OK.

It may be that the guy in this situation thinks the OP is OK. She’s nice and he enjoyed spending time with her (which is why they had 5 dates). But he didn’t like her enough to escalate contact or take it further. It doesn’t make him a player (as long as he hasn’t lied to you or led you on), or a jerk. And it’s no reflection on you, as others have said- it happens! You just have to let it go and move on to other guys.