Should I tell my ex I miss him?

Wouldn’t really commit*

Danielle, would you please repost when you aren’t drinking? This doesn’t make sense. You broke it off, you told him you want no contact, and you’re asking if he thinks you don’t want him any more? Well of course he would think that because you told him you didn’t want him and to leave you alone. So I take it you are remorseful about that now. And have had a few too many. Glad to help more when you are sober.

No I definetly miss him. I have everyday since I broke it off. I didn’t want to. But he was too busy for me. We hung out once a week and it was so complicated for him to commit. He finally did get in a relationship with me but it felt forced. And he was still too busy. After I ended it, he asked to talk to me, then didn’t talk to me, then said he kinda missed me a week after that. But it didn’t mean anything. I told him not to contact me because I needed time for me. Not because I don’t want him. Him sending those texts just confused me. But I miss him so much.

Danielle,
It’s normal to have regrets, but you are only thinking about the good times and not the real reasons it didn’t work out.

You know in your mind that he was not able to give you what you want. You did the right thing for you to break up so that you can meet someone who can give you this.

If this man really wanted to be with you, he would step up and have a real relationship with you. You told him what it would take to be with you.

Think On that. We tend to miss the good times, and that minimizes the major problems and sad times that led to the break up in the first place.

If you reach out to him, do you think things would be different?

Danielle,
You are all over the place. Time for what?

The man can’t give you what you want. Going nc is the way for you to get your feelings under control and move on. If the man misses and truly wants to step up for you, he will. Saying he misses you is not doing that. Men do this all the time. They throw out words that draw us back into the same relationship we were not happy with.

Be honest. Did you break up thinking he would step it up and he called your bluff? Now you regret breaking up because you would rather settle for less than what you want than move forward?

Here is the dilemma. When you tell a man what you must have in order to stay in the relationship you have to mean it. Because if you waffle or back off from your intent, he will know you are not serious and that if he stays around you will eventually come back to what he has to offer you.

This is why once you set a boundary you have to mean it and you have to stick to it.

You can’t take back what you did with the texting. And frankly if his man wanted to stay with you he would pick up the damn phone and call you. I so hate texting… Can’t believe people hide behind it and carry on serious discussions. Ridiculous and is truly messing up relationships these days. But I digress…

At this point stay no contact. Focus on you. Keep in mind if you don’t move on you are preventing yourself from meeting the man who truly wants the same thing you do.

Woah!!! I really feel you. I am in the same situation except the timing is different. I decided to walk away yesterday. We’re also not on the same page, he doesn’t want commitment after an honest talk with me, and he treated me hot and cold sometimes. This is the second day, it’s so hard but I think I can do it. We will meet someone better. I went outside and did yoga today, the cold wind makes my heart less hurt.
I wish you a great recovery. Like these wonderful ladies said, you have to be strong and not contacting him, if he like you enough, he will step up and claim you as gf. Mine give the same excuse about not to know how to behave in relationship too. Those are bs you know…I have been reading anewmode lately, and you have to power to walk away, you did it for your own goods. Later when we look back, it would be like what was I thinking, cheers :)

what kind of “commitment” are you seeking here? marriage, or BF/gF label?

And we had been hanging out/seeing each other for 4 months or so.

It’s been 8 days since I told him not to contact. It’s been hard. I almost called him last night. My friend said I should. I didn’t think it was a good idea. I keep thinking “since I ended it, why would he want to contact me?” Is something wrong with me??

I am getting mixed opinions from friends. Some are saying I should be honest and tell him how I feel. But I feel like that won’t change anything. But I’m also torn. As in, what if he’s scared because I pretty much told him to leave me alone. Like he night think I don’t want anything to do with him.

I’m not going to contact him, and still haven’t. It’s a very hard thing to do. Do you plan on not talking to him anymore? I broke no contact 3 times in the first month when he would text me. Every time I regretted it. I’m really trying this time.