Home › Forums › Texting Advice › Should I text him again?
- This topic has 7 replies and was last updated 10 years, 4 months ago by
Anna.
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Penny
I’ve been seeing this guy but we are not official. Anyway this is just a quick question. He was supposed to come see me last night (friday night our time) but due to work and our distance he said he’ll see me tonight instead and could not make it last night. He was too tired and he had an early morning schedule today. I was concerned with his tiredness and told him that it’s ok if he can’t see me and we can just schedule next week. He took it the wrong way and told me “are you serious? I thought you miss me, that’s why I wanted to see you but just not tonight instead tom night. But if that’s what you want even if I want to see you tom night, then ok” i said “of course I want to see you and I do miss you, i just thought you might be really tired and needs a rest” he said ” If i do need a rest then I would not say i’d see you tom night, anyway i’m going to bed goodnight” I replied but he never replied anymore. I thought maybe he already went to sleep so I left a 2nd text saying ” anyway, I really want to see you tomorrow night, you should come, just text me what time, goodnight”
It’s morning now and he hasn’t replied, I want to ask him again if he is coming tonight or not but I do not want to seem needy. Is it ok to ask him one last time if he is coming?Lane
Hi Penny.
Do not text gain! Just let him be and he will get back to you.
You made it clear you wanted to see him, and now the ball’s in his court. Give him some SPACE and relax. Do not get all uptight, freaked out, or go overboard over something so silly.
Lux
Penny, I would not like such a guy. You sound way more mature than him. He kind of behaved like a woman.. stirring up trouble out of nowhere.
Penny
Thanks guys! I got tired of waiting for him to make plans, he is always this flaky with plans to see me, cancelling at the last minute or coming to see me at the last minute. I waited the whole day and nothing. I got fed up and sent him a text saying, i’d see him some other time because I made other plans, to end the text on a positive note, I ended it with an I miss you. So I went out, left my cellphone on purpose (I did not want to deal with his reply). When I got home, checked my phone and he left a message saying ” I don’t think you really missed me since you did not want to see me, I however miss you very much, goodnight”… I did not reply anymore, I don’t know what to say. Argh men!
Christine
I agree never text back until they text you back it does look needy men hate that!I know from experience! all of the books I read they say don’t text him back until they text you!! I have also read never accept late last minute Plans with a man let him know he has to work harder than that to see you you can’t make it easy for them or they will not see you as valuable. Don’t be too available.
Gloria
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Gloria
Sorry, I send him a text sayong” I feel you’re going through something. I am here to listen if you want to talk. No strings attached. He replied, ” hi that would be nice to talk or hang out sometime. Hope you’re doing well.” I replied iam doing great. Thank you! Looking forward yo hang out and talk sometime.”
He hasn’t replied to that. What should I do now?Anna
Gloria, I would leave it. I’m not sure what the context of your situation is, but it’s VERY clear that he just wants some space right now and/or is not interested in general. He is being polite. I wouldn’t text him again. If he’s interested, he’ll get in touch. But I wouldn’t hang around waiting for him AT ALL.
Also, in general, I would ALWAYS avoid saying anything like “I’m here for you if you want to talk.” This is a nice thing to say to a female friend and you probably mean to be supportive and remind him that you exist but honestly it will have exactly the opposite effect as intended. It will come across as needy and demanding and smothering and will feel like you are demanding time and attention from him when that’s not what he’s offering right now. If he is going through something, he will deal with it on his own. IF he contacted YOU and said, “I’m going through some pretty heavy stuff right now, my dog died” or whatever, THEN you can say something like I’m here to listen if you ever want to talk. Even then I wouldn’t overdo it. But if he’s not contacting you it’s probably because he’s either dealing with his issues on his own and wants to keep it that way, AND/OR has no real interest in seeing you again. I don’t mean to be harsh, I just think you should put your focus on connecting with lots of other people rather than getting hung up on this one guy who doesn’t seem all that interested or even capable of being interested right now.
What he said is the kind of thing I would say to someone if they messaged me I did not particularly want to pursue anything with them but I wanted to be nice about it. Others may have another perspective….
hope that helps
xoxo -
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