Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Should I Text Him While I'm Out of Town
- This topic has 2 replies and was last updated 10 years, 3 months ago by
Lane.
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Eva
Hi, I recently met a guy online and went on two dates with him. He initiated both dates and they went great. Our first date was two Fridays and he asked me the following morning to go to a baseball game that Wednesday. The baseball game ended up being a double date with his married friends. I had a great time and I think he did too. At the end of the night we needed cabs and realized we were going in the same direction and he suggested that we could share a cab. I agreed, but when the cab came he didn’t get in and I was confused. The date then ended abruptly. The next day I I left to go on vacation for 10 days. I told him when I was coming back but I haven’t heard from him (I’m still on vacation and won’t get back in town until Saturday night). The only time we’ve texted in the past is when he was planning the date. I’m not looking to have an extended text conversation, I just want to know if there will be a third date/if he is still interested. While I’ve been gone he has updated his online profile a bunch. When I first met him he had only been on the website for 2 weeks and then took down his profile because he said all of the girls seemed the same. Now he is back on. I’m wondering whether I should send him a quick text while I’m still on vacation or wait till I get back to tell him I’m back in town. Or whether I should wait to hear from him. Thanks.
Ann
Wait to hear from him, do not contact him. If he is just new to on-line, who knows where his head is at. He knows how to contact you. When a man is interested, you’ll know it.
Lane
Hi Eva.
DO NOT TEXT HIM! The fact you’re already in a ‘desperate’ state of mind is a dating killer and need to STOP, step back and not reach out to him. Why? Because you can NEVER measure a man’s interest through texting, only the amount of times HE INITIATES CONTACT, PLANS DATES and TAKES YOU OUT. The fact he changed his mind about the cab, stopped contacting and is back on the dating site are all signs he’s no longer interested.
Here’s the thing about dating, not every guy you meet will turn into a relationship because you don’t know what he’s looking for in a lady. In the early stages a man is in the ‘getting to know you phase’ and needs time after each date to process their feelings. His feelings MAY have changed for reasons you will never know or understand, and he may not even know or understand other than he wasn’t feeling the ‘connection’ he needs to in order to continue pursuing a lady.
I would stop tracking him or waiting for him to initiate and just chalk it up to a NO GO right now. When you return if he DOESN’T contact you then forget about him and continue dating because a man who’s truly interested will step up and continue to SHOW IT by spending time with you for at least another 2 months or so (avg. is 2.5 – 4 months before a man will commit). I know it sucks, but you have to be really strong, take your time (watch his actions closely), and not take it personally if they stop calling you.
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