Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Should I wait or move on?
- This topic has 3 replies and was last updated 4 years, 8 months ago by
Lane.
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Emire
I met this guy at work three months ago and we hit it off pretty quickly. About two weeks after he began working at our school we started talking and I immediately felt comfortable around him, but I wasn‘t sure yet if I would be able to see him more than a friend. We agreed to take things slowly because a little over a month before he met me, he ended a 9 month relationship and nonetheless, I prefer taking things slowly. Because he lives quite near me, he picked me up every morning to drive to work and all around he showed me every day how much he liked me. I must admit, I was a little overwhelmed at first at how open he was to show affection. Many people around me said that he is completely smitten with me. About 5 weeks ago he told me that he‘s starting to fall in love with me and that he has never felt this strongly this quickly about someone before. At this moment I noticed how much I have started to like him and I was on cloud 9. Around this time we stopped working because of Covid-19 so we had plenty of time to spend together. At first we would see eachother about two times a week and he always asked me first. I decided to initiate meeting him a little more because we were both sitting at home doing nothing. Two weeks ago he started to get a little distant. He told me that he really likes me and loves spending time with me but he needs time for himself and it wouldn‘t be fair to start a relationship with me at this point in time. He also assured me that he needs time solely to be by himself and not to meet other girls. I told him it would be best to not see eachother until work starts again in 3 weeks and that we would see how it goes from there. I am certain that he needs more time than that. After talking to him I was a little angry because so many gestures and things he told me, showed me that he was sure about us and that can see us being together for a long time. Even my mother, who is normally very skeptical, could see how much he cares about me and was happy for me. And next year we‘re working even closer together because we are going to work with the same class. But my gut tells me we are handling this situation correctly.
On one hand I don‘t want to get my hopes up and on the other hand I can‘t just let someone like him go this quickly.Cayloo
Give him time if you’re so sure he cares about you so much…
But stay focusing on yourself. You should keep in mind that you can live without him, how you did before. I think you two should still stay in contact, atleast over the phone. Just give him time, you need to know he just got out of a relationship and is still handling the loss. Lay back and observe the whole situation. Dont stress over it and focus on yourselfWish you the best xx
Newbie
I think its a case of too fast too soon. I dont really see where you guys actually tried to take it slow.
He put the brakes on it and specificially said hecfoesntceant to proceed further into a relationship. That is your cue to totally back off and assume he is gone. He will be back though but for more vagueness im sure. Dont fall for itLane
This is where women err the most. They make assumptions about how a guy is feeling about them, then take over the steering wheel and try to drive them into a relationship but end up driving them off a cliff.
Stop doing that. Just continue to stay in the passenger seat and let the man do the steering until he has taken you to the relationship destination of his own free will. Let let the guy do his job and be receptive until you are IN a relationship, and only then should you start initiating (about 10% and gradually up to 20% when you’ve reached the six month mark) or make plans until he’s your BF because he wants to start integrating himself into your world after he has started the process of integrating you into his.
If a man is not doing this then you you lay low and pull back because if you try to push him, the law of nature kicks in, and they will do the OPPOSITE and you end up where you are now. The man hast to PICK YOU FIRST, only then do you get to CHOSE him back. Until he’s clearly asked or made professed his love you to you, remain fickle.
Slow down. Be the turtle, not the hare.
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