Home › Forums › The Community Lounge › Should I wish my ex a Happy Birthday
- This topic has 7 replies and was last updated 10 years, 6 months ago by Maria.
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Maria
We ended on a very bad note several months ago and have not spoke since. I have bumped into him briefly a few times but I have kept my distance because I feel like he really hates me. I thought since plenty of time has gone by I would reach out and say happy birthday since we have known each other prior to dating for a decade plus. I have made no attempt in 6 months. I do not have a good feeling about this but wanted to get some opinions. I do not want to look stupid but I don’t want to be mean either though. Thanks!
jDepends where you are going to say it.. text message.. facebook..
Facebook is usually easier because it’s not as person as a lot of people leave birthday wall posts. Texting is different as it is more interconnected with emotion etcWhat would you gain from saying happy birthday? You said you don’t want to look stupid.. It’s a nice gesture but you don’t have to say it just because you don’t wanna be mean! don’t feel obliged. It’s not going to kill him if you don’t say happy birthday :P
HarleyDO YOU genuinely mean him well ( of course you do, I know that) OR are you using it as a means to open up communication ???? He may not even reply if you do say it !!!
MariaI do genuinely mean him well. I would like to say something so that the bad past could just be put behind us. Not to move forward by speaking or reopening anything but to just leave it at that. The more I think about it though I do not think he would/will do the same to me when my bday rolls around so that should tell me something right?
jIf you think/know you’d be upset if he didn’t say happy birthday to you (even when you’ve said it to him) then maybe that’s saying something. If he says it to you when your bday rolls around great but that doesn’t mean you’re a bad person for not saying it to him.
MariaI would not be upset. I just thought it would be nice, but if he wanted to say hi he would right?? So i thnk that should tell me something. I thought it would be a good ice breaker to just let go of the past but Im not sure i should deb the one to make the move.
RavenHi Maria,
It sounds like maybe, you’re wanting a wee bit more than just wishing him a Happy Birthday…?MariaNo more than being able to put the past behind. I do not want to kindle a new relationship. Just be able to be friends and be civil.
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