Should pull away be punished

WHY are you doing NC…………when it sounds like YOU pushed him away with your behaviour ???

He…………is trying to reach out……………and you are making it worse.

DO YOU want the guy back or not ???

Communicate, not punish him.

IS his treatment of you ok, overall ???

Agree Yams.

Diane………….your title says it all… I believe YOU WANT TO PUNISH him. You’ve mentioned anger.

I don’t consider your behaviour very nice or mature.

I agree with Harley. I think the fact that you considered punishment to even be an option is a bad sign

Ok………….he needs time to think…………so leave him to it. GIVE HIM SPACE.
If he was the last to text.. reply, short.. but being nice.

IF you want to say.. briefly.. WHAT was the fight about……….so I can gauge HOW bad he is feeling and damage limitation……..or perhaps you are not in the wrong, so to speak, for all I know.

THIS is a crucial moment … based on the fight and your reactions… possible temper, words used, reason for fight, behaviour since………..HE IS DECIDING WHETHER HE WANTS TO CONTINUE ON WITH YOU OR NOT.

Ok………….at ONLY 3 months in…………you smothered him with wanting him to spend more time with you. You came across as he is the centre of your life, needy, clingy, insecure.

So…………he has gotten a bit turned OFF. A GUY does not like drama……….or coldness. He SEES that you can’t handle life on your own, you fight and give him the cold shoulder………….NOT GOOD marriage material !

He’s half way out the door already. YOU have 1 chance to rescue this. NO more apologies.
text him asap.. fun, flirty and light. say. ” hey handsome, I’d LOVE and appreciate your offer of help. Thanks VERY much for offering. Looking forward to hearing from you with an action plan, date and time that suits you to help.

smiley.. winky.. kissy face.

I gotta go out…. won’t be back for 7 hos or so. Sorry. good luck

In my opinion, you should definitely say thank you. I say thank you to the guy I’m dating all the time, for dates, compliments, doing considerate little things for me without my asking etc. It’s important to show gratitude in a relationship and I’ve read that not doing so can sometimes be a dealbreaker for a guy.

Cool. Keep us updated!

he did not….

So last night, one week after our fight, we started talking again… I reached out..

Told me he misses me, but my statement is like struck a note and kept going in his head..” Over and over” …my statement that “I will just find someone else then”….
Also told me that he already forgave me, and “it is just him now”…. And apologized multiple times for making me feel sad…

I guess I realized for a the first time how much my statement hurted him..

Will us ever moving pass this?

It has been a bitter sweet day at work today… Sweet that he is still going out of his way to be nice to me, sweet that the tension seems to be easing… Bitter that he is still shut down… No talk to me outside of work…

Ugh….

Ugh…..

Diane, all you can do is apologise sincerely once saying ‘I’m so sorry. I blurted that out without thinking. I didn’t mean a word of it. I don’t want someone else. I want you. I hope you understand this and that we can get past this’.

That’s all. After that, dont bring it up again. Ever. Just make sure you dont say such hurtful things ever again.

I would not apologise.

I’d phone him and say ..I just wanted you to know how much I appreciate you. I completely understand where you ate coming from right now and I would like you to reconsider everything and give me another chance. If you think you can get past this, I look go ward to hearing from you.

then….say goodbye. ..hang up.do NOT prolong the convo..get out and about….keep yourself busy. If he’s in touch .. he’s in touch. but….do not hold out much hope.

I should not have read this as it’s making me think I need to do more work reaching out. I’ve hurt his feelings and that’s why he’s shut down on me.

Also I don’t understand why Diane is getting totally different advice from everyone else??