Situationship problem

Man from work (we work in different depts) and I have been friends for several yrs. Last yr we hang out in evenings/weekends.

Always felt him to be very emotionally detached, while I’m very open & emotional. We got physical about a yr ago but never talked about relationship. It was the norm for him to go off & do his own thing fairly often. Like not be in touch for a wk or so. He appears very independent.

While I’m not super clingy, I’m not as independent as he is. We talked & he wants to be casual. I start pulling away slowly but still keeping in touch as a friend. I am very unhappy with being treated so casually by someone I’ve known for so long.

I decide to pull away entirely & date others. He would let a month go by sometimes with no contact. Fine by me. However, a month ago, he started acting stalkerish by “being there” suddenly at places I go. Or being in the lunch room just as I walked in several times. Some hang up calls from a “private” # also started. At work or late at night.

He then sends msgs wanting to have lunch, to which I make excuses and say no. I feel somewhat guilty at turning him down since we’ve been friends for several yrs.

He never said he cared or loved me, which is fine. It was just casual for him. But I want something much closer which he cant give.

I didn’t know what else to do so I just told him I no longer feel a connection with him. Several hrs later he says he respects the honesty. Nothing else.

If he keeps pestering me after this, what should I do? I don’t want to make huge drama in our office.