Slow fade vs pulling back temporarily

I was incredibly confused by that. Wanted to post on here, but wasn’t able to.

I asked myself myself:

1) why did he even bother responding to me at the start of last week?
2) why ‘make’ himself available and not follow through?
3) why ‘like’ my soc med posts?
4) why still add hugs and kisses?
5) why not just block me? (Why do I not block HIM, you ask, because I want him to say the words. Ever saw the ‘F off and die scene’ in Closer? That’s what I want(ed), not the shouting and cursing, the ‘thank you’ part.)

Finally, the cryptic, broken up posts worked!
That was Sunday’s update, Monday’s update (the big one) to follow.

But first I’d like to again say thank you for reading, for the opinions and advice, the kind words and support.

I’m backing off so far he’ll need to send out a search party to reach me. HA HA!!!

All jokes aside I hope you do just that,his response was s****y. People are attached to phone at the hip these days. They check their phones and social media.

Anon,

I feel for you… Here is my suggestion underneath:

His response was really lame, what an a**. Sorry but it was really uncalled for that he said you acted like the wife you are not. After all he wanted to move things forward or so I thought. I would be highly offended too and besides that he is the one that treated you with disrespect the last how many days? 10 or more no contact or a random message here and there, suggestion for a hookup it sounded like and then not even bothering to respond that he will not make it and also pretty much tell you to get a life. Sorry but what a jerk. I do not think you were that needy after this long a silence and his strange behavior which was not in line with that from before. I do not like his arrogance at all. It is obviously not that you do not have a life but that he can have the common courtesy to let you know that you cannot make it. Sorry about this but at least if you can be angry at him because of his behavior perhaps you can now let it go easier, I am not saying it will be easy but look at it this way, maybe this is the real him. Then it is really much better you found out now.

This guy is calculated.

Stay clear from him for a while to gain your power back first.

If you don’t I am afraid your decision based on his approach to you may not be to your best interest.

I say you are under duress now. Be strong don’t react now, this is not the best time.

If you still see him around… You need to protect your reputation in your circle

This statement
“And I hardly think you’re sitting around waiting for me, at least I hope your existence is a bit more exciting than that. Last time I checked it was.”

Who the hell he thinks he is???
Oh my God!!! I hope your existence. .
What?? This man thinks he is in a pedestal of flowers or wtf??!!!
I’m just disgusted.

Anon,

OMG!!! He’s response cuts like a knife. Instead of apologizing for the biggest and most disrespectful ass that he is, he insults your existence!!! WTF!!! I agree with @rubytuesday. Why do you not disappear from this man’s existence, baffles me and it only puts you in the bucket of those type of women men loathe. Have some pride, please. I know it hurts but it already hurts without the additional insult and complete disregard of your existence and feelings and everything else you shared. Yes, he is an alpha male, he’s this and that but stop giving him the power and opportunity to further degrade your existence or his view of women like the way you acted.

Please move on, BLOCK him. He is enjoying the attention and making you feel miserable – this man is sadistic.

Wow! His response is just…..arrogance much? Who does he think he he? The disdainful and disrespectful tone is despicable. He has now shown his true colors.

I’m sorry that he’s such an a#$. It’s not your fault for sure – he told you himself that he’s terrible with women. Now you’ve seen it first hand. I see now that you freaking out a few days ago was simply your intuition telling you what your subconscious saw in him. We are pretty smart – we just don’t always pay complete attention and put it all together on a conscious level.

I would disappear from his life for sure. Whether you choose to send one more gem of a text before you block him is up to you. But if you do, make it good – ironic, not too insulting, just a bit in a classy way, and smart – just to let him know that you respect yourself and choose not to associate with his kind to keep your existence happy and meaningful. Think of something real good – and send it if it will make you feel better. Or just go completely silent.

What a wordsmith! Nothing like attaching the person he was disrespectful towards to begin with. This is a total loser. I hope you never speak to him again.

Thank you for the support once again, but I do urge some of you to please scroll up and read my last words again. Frankly I’m (almost) more offended by some of the insinuations than his message.

The ‘no life’ part is him being playfully sarcastic. Inappropriate under the circumstances, but again, his way to defuse tension and not an unfamiliar concept in our interaction. Hard to understand I’m sure, but we are both rather sarcastic individuals and yank each others chain that way all the time. I’ve said similar things to him in jest. Some people are like that.
The wife part however…that was unequivocally malicious. That is what made me back off SO fast, so far. His intention was to hurt, insult and belittle me with that snide statement. That I do NOT take lightly.

He sent that message first thing Monday morning.
It is now Friday afternoon.
And he has been blowing up my phone.

What have I done in the meantime?
I changed his name on my phone from pet name to his initial.
I put his things in a box.
I have NOT checked his social media.
I have hardly spared him a thought the last couple of days.
I have not, I REPEAT, have NOT replied to any of his messages since Monday,
because I have no desire to do so.
Perhaps I will change my mind, perhaps not.
Perhaps it will be something along the lines Jessica suggested,
perhaps I will meet him in public, resting bitch face or disdainful smirk firmly in place, listening to whatever the F it is he is going to attempt to feed me,
perhaps I’ll just make sure I look fabulous (we WILL inevitably run into each other) and never respond, perhaps I will see if he will grovel in order to win favor.
I honestly don’t know.
But right now I’m having a rather nice week (and a FANTASTIC day!) and have no desire to waste energy pondering my next move or lack thereof. I already had one less than stellar week thanks to him, no need to add another to the count.

Kate, I do think it is/was punishment.
Jessica, I think you were right about the motivation for his actions all along, ties in nicely with what Kate said.

Good for you! It is satisfaction that he’s going a little nuts right now – completely deserved.

Definitely look fabulous whenever you go out – in case you see him. A bit o salt in the wound. I have one word: R E S P E C T

Yes!!! Go forth and be fabulous lady!

Anon,

Let me just say you are handling this remarkably well!! Kudos to you! I’m not sure how you can resist not sending a message asking him to please stop blowing up your phone as last time you checked he wasn’t your husband and you don’t need to check in with him!! You have much more restraint that me!! LOL
:)