So what happens after the 30 day no contact rule?

Met the love of my life 3 years ago. We went out every Friday night because that was his only free night. He was divorced and had a young son he’d get every Saturday. So Friday was his day to go out. We did this for almost a year. I finally confessed to him I had fallen in love with him. He was surprised but ok with it. He did not tell me he loved me back but his actions said more. He is not an emotional man. We did so many things together we cooked together, had nice evenings just talking about lots of things. It was easy he lives down the street from me 2 houses down. I love him so much. When we met he was not active in his church at all. But then shortly after I told him I loved him he decided to go back to church which I thought was great, but then he started to avoid me and stopped going out with me. He always had an excuse. I’ve met his sons and 2 of his brothers they like me. But I just got tired of all the excuses. But the in between he has alway texted me or called me. I know he cares about me, he gets so excited when ever he sees me his eyes and huge smile everytime. But here 3 weeks ago I asked him out for a simple dinner and he said no. I got upset and said nothing. That day I told myself I would ignore him. It was so hard. 2 weeks went by and he sent me a text saying how long in hours it had been since we’d spoken. So I texted back the same number of hours except I added #hours too late. Now 1 more week and it will be 30 days no contact. I love him and I know he cares about me. WHat Should I Do? ?? Is he just being stubborn or is it his religion? Is he that stubborn to let this all go?

Hannah, you are probably right. But then why bring me around you boys the youngest one is 10 and his older son is 25. I really got along with his brothers and I should clarify it wasn’t only Friday nights we’d see each other during the week as well. He have great chemistry and great conversation all the time. I really seem to think it’s his religion why he stays away. They seem to be very strict when it comes to dating. It’s weird if you ask me. He’s a grown man, business man at that how can he not see that since he went back he’s lost mostly all friends and me. His life now is work, church and only attends church events he doesn’t even go out with his brothers anymore.

Hi all-

To begin with, I have never commented on a blog before. This is my first time and I really want to contribute to this one. I am currently on day 31 of NC after my ex girlfriend refused to take me back. I told her that I want to be out of the relationship because we kept on fighting over one subject that we couldn’t agree on. I realized my mistake two hours later but it was already too late. Although we have exchanged texts and emails before the NC, she seemed determine to move on with her life and I wanted to show her some respect by leaving her alone.

I started the NC rule for two primary reasons. The first reason is because I LOVE HER VERY MUCH and willing to test whether this relationship was meant to be. I don’t really think not contacting someone within the first 30 days of breaking up is a bad sign. From a male perspective, it really allows me to see whether or not I really care about her. Every time I feel the need to text her, I replace it by saying out loud “I love you”, which seeems to be very helpful. I am willing to go as far as 60 day before reaching out to her again. Although I might be the one to initiate contact because she is a litttle stubborn and may not want to do but that’s also fine with me.

The second reason is because I have to alter my life by moving to a different country to be with her. We are currently living in two different countries at the moment and she is pressuring me to move in to her country because she doesn’t like to be in a long distance relationship. We are both in our late 30s, career focus, goal oriented and quite comfortable in our everyday lives. Again, the NC rule will help me to make a final choice by deciding whether or not I want to move to another country.

Bottom line, I never stop loving her eventhough it has been 31 days of NC. I think this is a good time for both parties to reflect on the relationship, of what went wrong, and how to prevent it from happening again.