Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Someone please tell me this is ok
- This topic has 10 replies and was last updated 7 months, 3 weeks ago by
Angel.
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Sonya
28. Single for a long time. I feel 10/10 good within myself. I have my life together, own place, good career, earning good money. I have a healthy relationship with myself, love myself, good friends circle. So all good.
I’m trying out the dating scene.
I matched with this guy on tinder for 2 days now. Conversation going really good. But he stays 95 miles away. He doesn’t like the city and won’t move out, whereas I live in the city, I breathe city and wont move to country side any time soon.
Therefore I feel like what’s the point of continue talking. But he is really interesting and fun to talk to.
Conversations are mostly, how’s your day going, talking about food, plans for weekend. He’s intelligent and seems to have his life together. I would like to meet him if he didn’t stay so far.
Problem: I want to keep talking to him on app, but I’m scared to meet up, in case I do like him then I have a problem… who’s travelling 100 miles (200 miles) each time to see each other? And do we do it weekly? 200 miles per week on top of my work commute of 200 miles per week is a lot…
If he asked to meet, it is rude to say let me think? I do want to meet up, but if he were to ask me today or tmr, I would need to think about it…. Is it weird to say this?
Sonya
Also, we’re not sexting yet but a few times we did tease about bikinis and being sexy but nothing yet. Is it weird to sext without meeting first?
Sorry it’s been 6 years since I dated. I just didn’t have time to date in uni and when I first started working!
Sonya
Like I want to sext but does that mean if we were to meet up, we would need to have sex? Ugh I’m so not experienced
Raven
@Sonya, What type of relationship are you looking for?
Sonya
I’m not sure. Not one nighter but I don’t mind being flirty and sexting. But I want to go on dates and meet new people. Tied down and marry, no! But I won’t say no to a bf if the right guy comes along.
Raven
Sexting with a guy online, who you’ve never met, will get you sex upon meeting…
Dating a guy who is 200 miles round trip is a waste of time, unless you want sex…
Ewa
Raven is right, he might meet you once for sex , otherwise this won’t work, so up to you really.
Maddie
You could ask what he’s looking for from the app, what kind of relationship (casual? Serious? Pen pals who sext?) and see how you feel about his answer. If you want casual sex, make sure you’re first meeting up safely in public as he is a total stranger. Also tell someone you trust where you’re going and with whom.
If you don’t want casual sex and know this can’t work already, ask yourself why you’re talking to him instead of spending that time with either actual friends or on new potential connections. Not saying you can’t make new friends in life and he can’t be one, but people on dating apps aren’t usually looking for platonic friendships, so my guess is he is looking for hookups.
mama
Any time and attention you are investing in this guy that you’ve already said won’t work out because of the distance, means time and attention NOT spent on getting to know other people.
If you want to date and through chatting or meeting you’ve learned someone isn’t going to work out (for whatever reason, it doesn’t matter) then stop investing time at that point because they will be a DISTRACTION to what you are hoping for.
Make more of an effort to invest time and explore potential dates that are more aligned to what you want. It’s not personal, it’s not mean, it’s being true to your own intentions.
Good luck in your journey and don’t forget to have fun!
AngieBaby
“If you don’t know where you want to go, any road will take you there.” Alice in Wonderland
If you keep engaging with him you will probably wind up meeting and having sex you will later feel bad about. Tell him you’ve enjoyed chatting but the distance is too great and doesn’t make sense to continue talking and wish him the best. Focus on others you can actually spend time with.
Angel
I don’t think he is that into you, he is just looking for someone to burn some time with
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