Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Sorry if TMI – opinions needed!
- This topic has 8 replies and was last updated 4 years, 10 months ago by
LaFrance Thibodeaux.
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Kaz123
Hi everyone, firstly sorry if this is tmi but im just curious as to what you all think of my situation.
I have been with my boyfriend for around 9 months now, up until this point we have been using condoms as our form of contraceptive and he has also been pulling out before he ejaculates. Until now i just assumed he pulled out because condoms arent the most reliable form of contraception sometimes, and we have discussed that we both dont want children for a few years.
Recently he has been suggesting that i think about going on a more reliable contraceptive and after talking to my doctor im not on the contraceptive pill. However my boyfriend still refuses to ejaculate inside me because the pill isnt 100% effective (even though no contraceptive is technically).
If im honest i dont know if i should be a bit…insulted? Does this mean he doesnt trust me to take my pill or trust me when i say i dont want babies at the minute either? The sex is great but i feel like we’re missing a bit of the intamacy and closeness in our current situation. What are you guys thoughts?
Khadija
Perhaps this is something you should take to him about.
This forum is mostly women so we can’t really speak as to why a man would decide to do that.kaye
I’m assuming you mean you are NOW on the contraceptive pill instead of NOT on the contraceptive pill! First if you just started the pill it does take awhile to become effective. I would at least go an entire cycle (28 days) before I started to rely on them. Even then I would make sure to take them the same time every day and use some other form of birth control if I were using medications such as antibiotics which make the pill less effective. If it’s been longer than a month and he still insists on pulling out I would explain to him that the pill does have many side effects and if he’s still going to insist on the withdrawal method you don’t think it’s right to subject your body to those side effects when you still aren’t increasing your intimacy in the situation. Then see what he says and really listen to his concerns.
Raven
There’s this stuff called ‘pre cum’
You can get pregnant from that…Tallspicy
Stop making up problems where there are none. Seriously. And let him cum wherever he wants.
Newbie
I assume tall lady is a bit fuming about the fact that you straight went to its a you problem ((he doesnt find you attractive) and i agree with that. But i like kayes advice better, talk to him about why you did it
Anderson
You’re taking it personally based on an… assumption. Many people do crazy things because something isn’t 100%, and getting pregnant is a fear for most. It could be just his preference. It could be something else too but don’t want to give you baseless paranoia as it might bleed into the way you talk to him about it
Just talk to him calmly, and give him the benefit of the doubt, at least at first
Lane
He is being cautious because he know’s how babies are made and is only trying to better the chances of not having an unexpected pregnancy. Women have been known to “trap” guys, my 28 son was a victim of one when he was 18, so its a real fear for men who don’t want to be a daddy.
I wouldn’t rely on the pill as a 100% effective way to stop pregnancies—I got pregnant THREE TIMES with my ex husband on the pill, after the birth of my second son (miscarried the first) I made him get a vasectomy lol. Even after that I refused to have unprotected sex until he had ZERO sperm because I didn’t want to take the chance.
I would calmly speak to him about it as he has obvious concerns about an unwanted pregnancy so don’t take his side lightly, just listen and see if the two of you can come to a mutual decision such as using both the pill and a condom for double protection—a win, win!
LaFrance Thibodeaux
I think he’s respecting the fact that neither of you are ready to be parents right now..No need to feel insulted..On another note,I’m grossed out by semen..
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