Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Stay or leave
- This topic has 7 replies and was last updated 1 year, 6 months ago by
mama.
-
AuthorPosts
-
Kia
My boyfriend of 5 years doesn’t wanna get married now and doesn’t really know when he would want to get married. He literally says that he doesn’t know what he will want 5 years later. And told me if i wanted to wait till then, it was my choice and if i don’t wanna wait, then that’s my choice too. Till then he can be in a relationship with me he said but he cannot promise anything else as of now. Although i am scared of the relationship because my emotions are not respected, i am left alone, he lashes out real bad when angry even calls me a sl*t etc. But i am just not able to let go. I feel if I leave him now because he isn’t giving me a commitment then he might make a new girlfriend. I really will not be able to take that, I’ll die. I literally feel I will commit suicide if I leave or if he leaves me. I can’t let him go. What are you supposed to do if you are considering staying in such a relationship?
I sometimes feel he is narcissistic, sometimes I feel he isn’t. I don’t know whether to stay or leave and how. He is really the most special person in my life, letting him go breaks me.
Ewa
Is marriage important to you? Some men don’t want to get married, not because they don’t see a future with you, they just simply don’t see it as necessary.
but if he is telling you pretty much I don’t care if you stay or go then you don’t really have a choice here, you have to leave.Maddie
Why would you stay? 5 more years wasting time on the same, he makes you feel crazy, you wonder if he’s abusive (btw he is if he gets angry and calls you names) or narcissistic, you don’t know how to be a full person or yourself without him anymore… This. Isn’t. Love.
Try googling, get out of the fog with narcissist, or brain fog narcissist, and see if any of that information helps. Even if he doesn’t have a personality disorder, there still might be something there that resonates with you and what you can do next.
If leaving him scares you so much that you’re afraid you’ll harm yourself because you won’t have an identity without him, please seek the help of a professional to start sorting yourself out before you make any relationship decisions.
mama
Kia, if you feel like you will harm yourself, you need to talk to a professional. This is above and beyond the capacity of a forum. Please look into some crisis counseling to help you come to terms with what’s going on in your relationship as well as yourself.
Everyone wants what’s best for you. Please get help. <3
Gaia
Please follow Maddie and mama’s advice. I highly recommend a good therapist to help you through any self-harm issues and with guidance and support in removing yourself from this relationship.
I highly recommend leaving. If he hasn’t married you by now, he isn’t going to. There will just be another excuse down the line.
Khadija
Please seek professional help, threaten to harm yourself if this relationship ends is serious.
I was once in a relationship with a guy who didn’t know if he wanted to marry me, I wasted years waiting around and it never happened. I’m now married to someone who made it clear from the beginning that he wanted marriage. Guys like this end up married to someone else, not to the ones who wait around hoping for the best. Its about knowing your worth and leaving because you deserve to have the relationship you want.Tammy
Stay or leave? Pls leave…
mama
Khadija, that is exactly what happened in my past as well. I wish women would listen to our experiences even though we sound like broken records. Women think their story will be the exception but they really need to accept that it’s not going to happen with that particular guy.
Find a guy more presently aligned with your relationship goals.
-
AuthorPosts
