Still not over him, he is still reaching out, What do I do?

why is he reaching out, do you know ? is it because he is bored , because he enjoys the chase? remember he left you and didn’t really care about how you feel and what this do to you. if it was me i would say no to meeting him.

I’d watch out here. You were seeing him “unofficially,” so he was flakey about commitment from the start. Then he left and is now fishing around. A lot of immature or commitment-flakey men do this to either not feel guilty or to no strings attached hook up again. It has nothing to do with you, and he won’t put your feelings first, as it has everything to do with him. And while it doesn’t mean he never cared for you or doesn’t care, it does mean you should trust your instinct that this is likely a dead end waste of your time. But of course, when you’re depressed, having the hope of distraction can seem appealing even if at the same time you’re talking yourself down: maybe he will want me but he’s probably already dating someone else who might be better. (Don’t talk yourself down in general!)

If you decide to see him and he’s cards fully on the table, he says *outright* without prompting that he wants to date you for real, he explains exactly why and how he’s changed in his life to this properly now versus last year, and then he’s super consistent and follows through for at least a couple months in actions and you really date, you can consider if things could work out between you. But under any other circumstances, if he’s hinting or breadcrumbing or just wants to try being friends or casual first, go no contact instead and continue focusing on yourself.

I think in this case you can trust your instinct that this is going no where good, though I understand your curiosity. Have zero expectations and be ready to defend your own boundaries well if you do meet up with him.

I’ve been through guys like this coming back in the past myself, and it most often plays out in the way I’m describing when you’re trying to tell if someone might be for real and ready to reconnect or not, and what their intentions are. TAKE CARE OF AND PRIORITIZE YOURSELF FIRST AND FOREMOST! Another person can’t save you from depression and shouldn’t have control over you, all your moods, and your life decisions and happiness. Things will get better for you, though he may not end up being a part of that path, and that’s okay!

You know you can ask him, ‘What do you want?’

I kind of agree with Kaya. You aren’t strong enough to see him. I feel like seeing him would be a step back for you and your post makes it sound like you are very aware of this. And when you DO get strong enough you may not want to waste your time.

You’ll find your person. It’s okay to miss past loves (even mister ‘back-out-at-the-last-minute’ guy), but that doesn’t mean you have to act on it. Maybe block this guy for a while until you are strong enough to stand on your own.

Give yourself the gift of space from him and keep taking good care of yourself. Make decisions from the stronger side of your self, not the weaker one.

If you are lonely, try to find other ways to support your needs — social groups, meetups, set a goal in an area of your life and work towards that, volunteer with those less fortunate or those with shared interests. There are so many ways for you to fill your need for connection without having to undo all the hard work you’re doing to heal yourself.

Your way too invested despite the breakoff. It tuk u a long time to get over this guy. And u still seem so unsure and anxious but hopeful. His actions dont really show hes that keen or serious to pick up where he left off. But u on the other hand still seem quite intrstd. There is a strong possibility that he just got in touch on a whim or out of curiosity or maybe he was just bored in life.

I wld hv suggstd that since your still intrstd why not meet casually and see how things go? But in your case since you went thru such a hard time after the breakoff and tuk such a long time to smwhat get bac to normal, i really dont think you shld risk meeting him again.

Your not quite ready or mentally strong enough to meet this person. In case you meet him and find yourself still crazy abt him but hes pretty casual abt things and it turns out to be just a one off or casual meeting, i am afraid you will be heart broken all over again and will hv the uphill task of climbing back up from ur dark hole.

I wld suggst that you avoid meeting him
for now and focus on yourself. Meeting him at this juncture when you hv done so much work on yourself may go waste. Take your time and work on your self. I wld suggst that you start dating only when you hv workd on yourslf.

Pull the plug on this whole meet up and focus on yourself.
You need to rebuild yourself and find your light again.
This guy isn’t going to do anything but, bring you down further.
He’s probably just bored and wanted to meet up because if he wanted to make things right he would have said that by now.
Please protect your peace.

I’ve not always been this direct…
But when you get good & tired of feeling jacked around, you (do) take your power back. It’s scary the first time. It gets easier the more you do it!

Additionally @sara, he isn’t texting you to try & get back together. If he were he would have said… I think your meeting him is going to set you back, way back. What are you (really) hoping for?