Stood up after he fell asleep

I find that for little things like this, it helps not to leave the discussion with bad feelings or with that topic being the only one discussed. It’s really easy to stay slumped in a bad mood even after the other person apologizes.. And you can either foster how long that lingers or cut it off very quickly.

For example, what I would have done in this case is accepted the apology. Tell him you understand he didn’t do anything intentional to hurt you. Then move on and change the topic. Say something like, ‘so are you at least well rested sleepy head?’ And then move on to something lighter. That way you don’t end the call on a bad note or in limbo like you are right now wondering how he has processed all this.

Others may disagree, but I find when my husband and I get into small tiffs it always works best to deal with it painless and quickly and move on.. Don’t get caught up in lingering hurt or resentment. That is the stuff that builds up and over time ruins things. We all like to feel good in our relationships.

Right now.. Perhaps you can call him back and be lighthearted. Mention the opening in your schedule .. See what he has to say. I would not do it by text, but that’s just me. Texting just does not convey the same .. You can’t hear true inflection and be spontaneous..IMO

I’m sure things will work out fine.

There was more to it but it would have added so much more to this than was already there. This actually has nothing to do with the fact that I felt things had been different except to say that I’ve been less sure as to where he’s coming from generally lately and this incident only added to that. I think if things hadn’t been different lately I wouldn’t have been as hurt by him not showing up.

Ah, I thought as much, because this is the type of thing that would normally (as described above) firmly-yet-politely make the guy understand I expect to be treated with respect/courtesy (keep him in check, you know) without being dramatic or OTT about it. Like make him aware, and move on because it’s not a massive deal in my books. But yeah, if you already have some insecurities/doubts then obviously it’s more loaded than just a silly mistake/miscommunication.

I’d not bring it up again, just act normal next time you talk, and see what he is like after that … if he was perhaps losing interest as of late, this of course won’t help, so you should be able to tell soon. I know the latter sounds kinda crappy, but it is what it is. If he’s still interested and you’re lighthearted after this, he has learned that you respect yourself/can stand up for yourself, but that you’re not a dramaqueen – both things men respect and like!

I accidentally stood up my future husband when we were seeing each other, early on. It happens. Don’t fret it. He apologized. He made plans with you because he wanted to see you even though he was tired, so let it go.

I need help
I know it’s silly to be mad but I can’t help feel upset and disappointed, my boyfriend and I organised to meet a at around 11 I got up at 10 got all ready shower make up done and I was to waiting for just text to meet him off the bus, at 11 I was waiting at the front door waiting waiting.. 12 came around I was watching tv texting him where are you calling him no response.. at around 3 he text me “I fell asleep” .. and I’m thinking that’s all you have to say ? I’m so angry iv waitsted my day waiting around for you iv been sitting around waiting for you iv for all done up for you and you can’t even just get in the shower and get up out of bed so you don’t go back asleep for me … and he’s the one that organised the plans ?? I don’t know I’m just so upset and annoyed about the situation.. should I be this angry about it really ? When I called him he was all numbly on the phone not really caring about it said he had nothing to apologise for..
I’m in need of advice :( this isn’t the first time and and not only the 5th more that he has left me sitting around waiting for him

Make life simple. Never waste your time with people who think it’s okay to waste your time. You give the benefit of the doubt once, only. And only if there is a sincere apology, and effort to make things right.

We teach people how to treat us… by what we allow, what we permit, what we encourage… or what we stop. You’ve taught him it’s ok to disrespect you. If you respected yourself properly, there would not have been a “second” time.

I actually totally under how you feel. My Bf did the same thing to me yesterday too… we were supposed to meet at my place before we went to a bar; he didn’t show, I texted asking if I must have mixed up the time. 3 hours later he texted me telling me that he fell asleep… I ended things with him-but not because he stood me up, but because I told him that I felt hurt by the behavior, and he was satisfied with his apology (sorry, fell asleep), He also didn’t demonstrate to me that my feelings of hurt affected him in anyway.

I realized at that moment that it didn’t hurt my man to realize that he hurt me. Think about it, if you found out that you hurt your man, and that wasn’t your intention, you in turn would have probably felt terrible, be hurting also because of how bad you made him feel. My BF didn’t demonstrate that it even bothered him that his behavior and response hurt me.

This isn’t the worst way to find out that your man is okay with hurting you. If he isn’t going to make an attempt to ‘right a wrong’ I don’t mean bend over backwards and beg, but make an effort to make it up to you, it’s because he doesn’t feel he needs to. What he did bothered you-not him, and his behavior bothering you- doesn’t bother him either.
Since I can personally empathize today, I wish you all the best!