Strange after two dates

Thanks I know it sounds crazy but its really out of character for him he is probably just ill and working won’t text him again know I probably looked like a loony last night texting twice buy hopefully haven’t blown it

You told him you felt fed up and sorry for yourself? Did I read that correctly?

We have been chatting for a while and he normally text every night for hrs a night ok feel foolish now

And meant I have been ill this week so was feeling sorry for myself and missed his chat when I text that in my experience if someone is interested they are I have male friends who say guys don’t think too much about stuff like that who text first etc he is probably busy and has man flu

No no no. Sweetie. You are chasing him and acting needy. Sorry to be blunt. After 2 dates, you should not be texting him at all except to respond. And even if you do, one text, one redponce, only after he has texted you first 3 times. And you called him out? He is not your boyfriend. He does not need to contact you at any regular interval. And lastly, you called yourself a pest? That is like screaming, I have no self esteem and will do anything to get your attention. Leave this man alone, if he contacts you and asks you out, great. If not…wait for a new guy!

Men don’t about who texts, and they just lose interest for seemingly nothing. Just not feeling it anymore… That is what you are doing….

I understand what you are saying I do and I know I text too much last night by sending two messages I didn’t call him out only mentioned he had been quiet. I made a joke at therms about being a pest as we usually have banter.

Last week he over text me even when he could not sleep and also Monday night to tell me he was just finished work and heading to bed. Did I think he was needy or too much ?

I didn’t so why is it different for men?

My male friend thinks he is ill he will get over it and text and will think that was sweet last night I was concerned if he doesn’t he isn’t for me I suppose time will tell I sure two texts doesn’t put a guy off someone I myself have lived with faults from a guy I liked so just have to wait and see

Thanks that’s sort of what I think as well have just been hurt a lot and also had an ex who was controlling so now have a warped view of contact through him I know that its a major fault I am not needy and like my space last night just felt down so text twice tried to cover it up by saying just text as you have unusually quiet and sorry for being a pest as a joke which may have made it worse who knows.

Thinking if he wasn’t interest he would not have text back have deleted his texts to stope texting and will give him space for a bit if I don’t hear from him fair enough

I probably don’t have much confidence that’s true and I was wrong to text twice but its done now got other exes who I am friends with and who want to date but unfortunately I like him and may have messed it up that’s life though.

Hopefully he sees past it if not he isn’t for me as my insecurities are part of me spoke to my male pal earlier he said don’t jump in but it’s no big deal first text didn’t need an answer you asked a question with the next one he answered you he didn’t need to he thanks he will text again Saturday give him a couple of days so will see and thinks its good to be a bit assertive and set boundaries as men hate walk overs and you need a balance.

His dad told him to chase until he doesn’t need to and it falls into place men go quiet to see if a girl is high maintenance or childish and go silent as well a day is fine a few days screams walkover

You seem pretty invested in just doing what you want. Also, please use some punctuation, your sentences are hard to read.

It is not terrible you texted twice, just don’t do it again. Think of it as learning :-)! Let him come to you. And no more telling him you are a pest, or you miss him or anything along those lines.

As to going quiet – bullhonkey! A healthy man who is into you is not going to test you. He will be calling and letting you know he is interested. He will ask to spend time with you, and make it clear. And even if that is true – then you showed him you are high maintenance, which is the opposite of what you intended.

This man is not your boyfriend. Here is a good rule of thumb. Be thankful on the dates. Never initiate more than one for every three texts they initiate (only if they are being very consistent, otherwise, do not initiate at all). If a man does not contact you within 3 days ABSOLUTE MAX of a date, to schedule the next one or discuss it, then just let him go.

I’m starting to rethink this whole don’t initiate contact as there are some guys who aren’t sure how the women feels and fear rejection too. One young lad who posted was worried because she didn’t respond so I think we need to taking into consideration the generational differences and personalities too (shy). Although I agree it should never be used as a measurement over the long term, I don’t think a simple “hey, hope your weeks going great :-)” would be out of order. If he responds and schedules another date within a few exchanges then great, if not then delete his number asap and move on.

Thank you for the advice.

I won’t be texting again think I showed enough interest last night so if he wants to contact me he knows where I am. I usually play the game let the guy chase me but I thought this guy was genuine and he made his feelings clear brought my guard down and guess I have got too keen and have possibly blown it but will learn from it.

A guy I dated previously had offered me a lift tomorrow night from my work night out and accepted think I need a distraction.

Its true guys are unsure as well sometimes I have spoke to guys I have dated who thought I wasn’t interested as I didn’t text them they fear rejection just the same

A couple of my guy friends have backed away from girls because they felt she wasn’t interested as they always initiated.