- This topic has 10 replies and was last updated 2 years, 7 months ago by
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You’re “not sure where he stands”…
What do you mean? What is it you’re trying to get clear on?
If he wants to see you in person?
See… I’m trying to get my head around this.
You’re acting like meeting him in person would accomplish something, like it would get you closer to some goal or something you want…
And yet… you don’t seem to know if you’re on track and making progress towards that goal so far despite talking for a few weeks…
When a guy likes you, it’s obvious.
If wanting to hang out with him feels like some kind of disconnect or leap of faith from where the dynamic is right now, something is missing… there’s no such thing as leapfrogging past beginning stages of getting to know somebody, it’s a natural progression.
Let’s do this…
Let’s talk about flirting in the most basic sense.
Flirting exists so that each person can test the waters without risking embarrassment or rejection.
What I mean is, BECAUSE flirting is ambiguous, each person always has the “out” of “oh I was just joking”.
So every step of the way, you can test the waters with plausible deniability that you’re not actually flirting, you’re just being how you are.
If he takes it further, then you take it further, and if he tosses you something that works towards you guys getting closer, you take it further.
And it’s all couched in jokes and other excuses.
One woman I know who is a world class flirt has all sorts of excuses for “outs” for her flirting.
“I’m just silly”
“I’m just super weird”
“I’m just crazy”
“I’m just someone who gets curious about weird stuff”And because she’s supposedly all these things, she has the freedom to test all sorts of avenues to take flirting further while also having an excuse that it’s just weirdness or jokes or craziness or whatever.
So back to your question…
The fact that you want to meet him in person is fine, but your wanting of him does nothing to further his interest.
What needs to happen is FLIRTING in the style I described above.
Now mind you, I’m not talking about the cartoonish ways that flirting is portrayed in media and culture.
I’m talking about what I said above: Testing the waters while always having a “cover” for it if he doesn’t take it further… and if he does take it further you can take it further…
K?
That’s how this all works at the most basic level.
And guess what? You’re not going to click with every single guy on Earth. Not everyone will vibe with you and want to take things further.
That’s fine, it doesn’t matter. You’ve met thousands of people in your lifetime. How many of those people actually became best friends?
Very, very few. We all understand that in life we’re not going to vibe with everyone and there will be even less who we vibe with insanely well.
So we don’t have to take any of it personally! We don’t have to make our interactions “get somewhere” or “make something happen”.
We just respect the process.
The process is what I described.
You DISCOVER if you vibe with them. That’s it. You don’t make them vibe with you, you discover how it is to vibe with them by just following the basic human process that’s been with us for thousands of years.
