Home › Forums › Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals › Super Bowl night turned bad
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Andrea.
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Adoria
I feel so ashamed writing this but I’ll be transparent. Please no one judge me. I just need to get this off my chest. My bf and I were chilling at his home for the Super Bowl. Well he were cuddling up. When the halftime show came on with Rhianna performance. He got right up from sitting next to me and screamed “that’s my baby, there she god whew” o sitting down looking shocked. Like what in the world. He sits down next to me and jumps back up again and says “damn and she done got thick whew man” like he was in the zone jumping up and down. Like he won the lottery or something. I’m a naturally slim girl and to be honest it was apart of my insecurity. I’ve been in the gym..eating healthy proteins try to bulk up. It’s a slow process but I am trying. Hearing him just rant and rave about her nice body just googley eyed. I’m not going to lie it tore me up a little on the inside.
Don’t get me wrong I know that my man will find other women attractive. He just did it all in my face. He got up from near me and hollered for her. All I could do was go to the restroom. I looked in the mirror for about 15 mins picking myself apart. I looked at my skinny body. I dismissed the work I put in at they gym and the slight weight gain. All I saw was flaw flaw and more flaws. He was in the other room signing his heart out. The “man she don’t thick whew” comment stuck with me. I feel foolish writing this. But these are my feelings. I mean he literally never jumped up and was never that happy to see me his actual gf. He never hyped me up like that because he thought I was so beautiful. I told him how I felt and of course he deflected. Kind is dismissed it. I mean I am human. I am a human with insecurities. I have feelings. I’m sorry. I made myself stay until the game was over and I drove home. I cried on the way there. I don’t know why I took what my man said so personally. Why he was so so happy to see her and when I get around him I just get a weak barely embraced hug. I compared my body to a woman more curvier than me. Gosh guys please don’t judge.
Maybe it’s the comments he made and how I never got that type of energy from him on my looks. All I could see was just ugliness in the mirror. I saw skin and bones I saw nasty skin..big eyes..just I didn’t like it. I was fine when I went there and I felt so cute and confident with my guy and it all went done hill. We have a formal ball coming up that I invited him to. I hope I can get to my weight goal of gaining 10 pounds. Hopefully I achieve it next month. Guys I’m sorry it is long. It may be small to some but he really hurt my feelings and my insecurity came out. He knows how I feel about me wishing I was curvier. Thank you for reading me post. I look forward to your advice. God bless you all.Ewa
Girl, let me tell you, I can admire someone on TV, their six pack etc and there were times when I made comments in front of my bf, but it doesn’t mean I am less attracted to him , because he hasn’t got a six pack. It is your insecurity talking not him. Not saying what he did was right, because it was a bit too much but I wouldn’t worry about it.
There are women out there who would want to have your body, don’t beat yourself up.
he could get a curvier women if he wanted to, but he is with you so honestly no need to hate your body or yourself. You need to be secure with who you are, because trust me , even if you were curvier , but had the same mindset as you have now, you’d still feel insecure.Adoria
Ewa
Thank you girl. Like I said I am human and I’m not perfect. I had an insecure moment like everyone else. So it did hurt. I think the most was he never even remotely cheered for me like that. I get the “hey beautiful” every so often. But how he acted on that last night. He was in a twilight zone. Lol. I guess I just wanted my man to look at me like that. I wouldn’t be tripping if he did. When I see someone that handsome to me in a movie and we are together. I simply saw “taye diggs or morris chestnut or whoever is handsome” what I don’t do is jump and holler for them when they come on the screen. I don’t let go of cuddling up with my partner. I don’t know how to explain it. But when I woke up this morning. I thought to myself it only made me want to go harder with my goal weight and work on myself and making sure I call myself beautiful every single day instead of waiting for someone else to do it. I want this weight journey to make ME happy. No one else. Thank you Ewa for responding hun.A
The issue isn’t about him saying anything about Rhianna or any other girl for that matter. The issue is him deflecting and not taking your feelings into consideration. That’s a huge red flag. Also I would seek therapy for your own insecurities because skinny girls are beautiful.
AngieBaby
Rihanna is PREGNANT. Of course she’s “thick.” Doesn’t get thicker than carrying a child in your uterus.
It breaks my heart when women post here saying they feel bad about themselves because of soemthing someone else said or did. He’s got very bad manners. There’s nothing wrong with you. Like Eleanor Roosevelt said, no one makes you feel inferior without your permission. So, don’t give your permission! I’d be pissed off if my so-called BF acted like he did. I’d tell him if he wants Rihanna that badly, go get her and good luck to you. And I’d leave. YOu can find a man who thinks you’re beautiful the way you are and doesn’t do tacky things like losing his mind when a celebrity is on TV.
Please don’t beat on yourself like this becuase this man is a FOOL.
Claws
So sorry for the emotional pain you went through.
Before I comment, how old are you & your boyfriend? Below 24?Andrea
The bigger issue is that he cannot control his emotions. His failure to recognize when he’s being inappropriate and insensitive will likely keep being an issue as time goes on.
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