Taking a two week break

I understand where you are at mentally and I can understand where he’s at too, moreso him because I was in the same position with my BF (now ex husband) when he broached the subject of me moving in with him around the same benchmark your at.

I honestly believe this has to come from the man first, however it doesn’t sound like he was even close to getting to this point based on his reaction. You are not young and waiting around for a man to make up his mind because you want something he doesn’t is a very bad bet in the long-term.

The two week break is good IMO. Men fall in love in a woman’s absence so he could very well miss you enough that the thought of you not in his life would be too painful. He really needs to come this decision on his own, for his own reasons, in order for it to happen. All you can do is wait it out and if he doesn’t want to take the next step then I would seriously make the break permanent.

There have been too many woman in your position who end up wasting YEARS (some over 10) just for the man to meet that one woman, dump her, and marry the other within a year! You have a big decision to make too, whereas even if he agrees, is it really a victory if you have to continually PUSH or PROD HIM to meet every major milestone from thereon?

It is crucial, you dont break the no contact over these 2 weeks…

And you go to his meeting in 2 weeks time (if you go, you will see) confident and normal, not a train wrack…

maybe go there, looking your best, fabuluos and be kind and confident…. and maybe say (before you get his verdict), that you think 2 weeks are not enough for this decision to be made….

Flirt with him, be a bit detached and dont let him decide, if he wants to move in with you…

bring back the spark to your relationship, I think you pressed him lately too much (which is understandable, after 1,5 years) but….

of you really want him, be smart:) tease him and leave him to want more

you have 2 weeks to prepare for this and 2 weeks to think about, if you really want him

You’re not getting any younger, if you want a family you need to think hard.
He is not going forward and you pushing is freaking him out ( though you are right to want more). Living together IS a big deal – but at your age, in your position its nothing compared to any life/family goals you may have – he could be wasting your best years?
Have you talked about marriage or children?
This is tough – but I would say use this time to completely concentrate on YOU’RE life goals, and if he can meet them. You may well have a very tough decision to make.
Good luck.

I am not very positive. He may very well miss you but he has problems with commitment. I am not sure based on these things and that I have been told very similar things in the past that this will end well. Pressure or not, this is normal, he should have initiated but obviously you were stressed out that he had not and in my opinion for the right reasons. I agree that staying calm is great, even better if you can start moving on. In this case I would not expect a positive answer. Of course it is 50-50 and of course you think your chances are even higher but the things he says and that he asks for a break tell me that he is not ready at all. Even if he offers it at the end, not sure that will end well. But this is purely my opinion. I do agree though that due to your age, this is a crucial time for you to make decisions if you want a family: I would keep that in mind.

Two weeks gives him time to set up his dating apps, tinder, and get rid of any evidence of a woman having lived in his home.

As a woman you would want a guy to commit to you, to ask you to move in, to propose, etc, but that’s not always possible, so it is good that you asked him and it is good that he finally decided to make his decision. It is good that he took 2 weeks to think about it very carefully, I doubt he’d be seeing anyone else, he’d be thinking whether to commit to you permanently or not. To him moving in together means a full commitment and this is how it should be.

At 36 if he decides he can’t commit it will be a good thing for you to know for sure. You don’t want to hang out with him until you are 40 and then break up anyway. He is a man, he can marry at 70 and still have kids.

I think you need to be very careful not to break the no contact in any shape or form, not even social clicks. And take this time to think about your future as well. When you talk accept nothing but a full commitment and be ready to walk away if you don’t get it. You can’t take risks, he can, but you can’t.

I just don’t understand men these days. They are so immature. Scared of commitment. Like you want to have a relationship, spend 5 days in a week together and need a two week break to think about the next steps? Ridiculous. This BF of yours is shady, what happens if you ask him to marry you? he will need a 6 month break? I don’t get it why we women try to fulfill whatever our men ask for? If you weren’t comfortable about the break you should’ve said sorry I am not comfortable with his so if you want a way out…the door is right there. You need to be confident about what you want otherwise these type of people would walk all over you.

To me this doesnt sound good either. At this point in the relationship you should be talking about starting a family (if you want kids) and have a plan, some sort of time table. It should be exiting, not a bomb drop on his head once you get into one step further. I assume he is honest and is unsure and insecure but that might very well block him permanent. Im slightly agreeing with been there done that, in a way that if the talk is due, you are focused in what you want (you have 2 weeks to think about it) and less ensuring etc to his needs. Yes its good to talk calm but that can also mean you can state calmly what you want after you hear him out. I rhink this 2 week break is ridiculous but it might help him to see the light.
You are the only one to know if he has always been a bit wishy washy. Does he see you as the mother of his children, does he say he want to take care of you? Did he make statements like that? Has he always lived alone? All the best, you will get through the break just fine. If he breaks it, i would insist on doing it as planned because you dont want him come running back too soon. He has to be sure

I agreed to the break because Id like to give him a chance.

The other night in a very determined way I said that if we can’t take it to the next level then we should part ways. I was very calm and didn’t make any accusation. I just said that I know clearly what I want and I’m not confused and I also don’t want to force him into anything he doesn’t. I told him let me go my way and you yours.

This is were he said that it isn’t what he wants that he is scared. When I asked scared of what he said of taking the next steps.

I don’t want to defend him in any way. And ultimately this should not be about him but about what I want and whether he can meet my needs. He is not a bad guy. He lacks confidence on some levels and I know I’m more confident them him in the eject of love.

I am finding the break hard maybe because I k ow what I want but i don’t think he requested it to hurt me.

I’m worried but we’ve been really good to eachother and I’m not going to deny that I have a more positive outlook on this then negative one. I don’t k ow if it’s the right farme of mind to have but it’s the one that allows me right now to be ok with what’s happening.

If the feelings are real I’d like to think that this is a small milestone that will allows us to move forward stronger. And if it’s not at least I’ll know that on my end I have it my best shot. I’ve got my own fears and I had been single 5years before embarking into this.

Anyway keep te feedback coming I appreciate it a lot.

Reaching out for support.

Today i woke up feeling weak. I have not and will not contact him even though I very badly want to. So I’m w ritting hear instead. There are still a good 10days to go and I have been busy with work and after work activities but i have had urges to call and say hey…haven’t and won’t but just the same felt a need to expires my weakness which is normal I guess.

Thank you so much amz.

Your response means a lot to me! Yes it is for the right reasons and if I accepted it’s cause i know he isn’t a bad man and I have always been the yep to give people the benefit of doubt. I can only be patient and hear him out. I may get a positive outcome and if now I’m preparing for a negative one mentally I think it is for self preservation. Expect the worst and hopefully you’ll get the best. Anyway just need to write so I’m not tempted. Thank you again.

You know life is just about a journey and new experience… right?

Work and men just happen to be in between