Text him when he is sick

* anything, week

Hi-I don’t think this sounds like a “story” on his part. I do not think a simple,no reply text of kindness and courtesy would go amiss. Something like ” Hi,I hope you are having a better day!” or what you suggested about feeling better before would be fine,in my opinion..
When my now boyfriend of 15 months connected with me on a dating site,he asked me out with a fairly specific plan. I responded yes,that sounds good etc. Then a day or two went by and he did not message which I thought was odd as he seemed like an honest,good guy. However,I had met lots of flakes on line,so I just let it go,did not send him a second message.
Next day,he messages ” Sorry,my ex wife had a medical emergency and my ( adult) kids are distressed. I have to postpone our date and will get in touch soon,when I can.” My thought was that he seemed like a caring man,that had a good relationship with his ex and with his kids. I wished him well,told him to take care etc.
About 10 days pass and he reschedules our date-drives through a snowstorm to take me to dinner and we have been together every since.
Not every guy on line is a lying faker etc. Use your intuition- I somehow “knew” this/my guy was different. Keep us posted-good luck.

Not sure how long you have been internet dating, but as others mentioned. The majority of dates set up via online apps never actually end up happening. the man flakes or disappears. Does it matter if he lied? The main thing is whether or not he pulls through on this date.

Peggy I really understand what you say, I don’t think he is lying when I look at the facts but to be sane I have to keep some doubt because people easily fool other people even with the facts. This is why I don’t care about the date because actually I do believe it so in my mind if the date doesn’t happen this weekend it’s going to happen another day when he is well. Also the date is not until sunday, it happened on Sunday that he was in hospital overnight so it’s one week before and still 4 days from now. I read each of your replies over again and I still don’t know if the best thing to do to text him. I feel this is a really crazy situation now.

Benefit of doubt is not necessarily a bad thing, unless your gut tells your otherwise. The OP’s gut told her to check on his location to see if he was lying. So she really isn’t giving him benefit of doubt. She knows the story sounds odd. So we have already passed the point of not doubting him. Now all she can do is wait and see if he pulls through on securing a date with her.

I doubt it in the beginning because it sounded so crazy but when I thought about it more his story addded up and when I saw the location doesn’t change I believe him but even still it sounds crazy because it’s uncommon.

Quote from Dr. Phil. You may love or hate the guy, but what he says makes sense.

“The world has changed, so the rules have to change right along with it…

There’s something we’ve been taught that just doesn’t hold anymore. What my parents taught me, what your parents taught you, just doesn’t work anymore; at least not like it once did… benefit of the doubt. We teach people that it’s a good thing to do, that it’s the Christian thing to do; it’s the positive thing to do to give our fellow man the benefit of the doubt. Why would you do that? Why would you give somebody you don’t know the benefit of the doubt? If we said “Ok, here’s what I want you to do… go out in your life and JUDGE everybody negatively” you’d go “I’m not going to do that”. Then WHY would you go out and judge them POSITIVELY?

How about we don’t do either?

How about we don’t give people the benefit of the doubt?

How about we just collect information and make an INFORMED decision in our lives instead of giving people the benefit of the doubt?

I don’t know who made this up or sold it but it doesn’t work anymore… but there is a rule you’ve got to have. You’ve got to LISTEN TO YOU.”

Last time I heard from him was last night. It’s less than a week we have connected but all of the conversations he initiated.

I see that people here are very quick to be negative but I follow the forum because most of the time it’s good advice. But looking at a story like Peggy it shows we cannot always judge what we do not know. I am still stuck but it’s almost 10pm I haven’t heard from him and he hasn’t heard from me. Maybe better I put this to bed for tonight.

Go to bed and get some rest.

Truly, this isn’t a “make it or break it” issue. He’s not going to suddenly lose interest in you because you shot him a quick text making sure he’s feeling better. He’s also not going to lose interest if you DONT most likely.

Don’t sweat the small stuff

It appears to me that you are still overthinking this whole thing. I also think you are too worried about making an impression on this guy given what you said in this last post.

He may turn out to be a great guy or a total dud. Right now you have no idea and you seem to be thinking too far into things.

Get some rest and really hope whatever is meant to be will be.

Now your coming off as more of a ‘nursemaid’ than a potential date.

If he’s been in contact over the past week, then you’ve had ample opportunities to express your care and concern. If he’s not planning a date then its BEST to stop entertaining him and start booking dates with others. Again, you don’t know this man, can’t verify or validate what he says and it would not be in your best interest to keep this strung out as he could easily start seeing you as a ‘pen pal.’ Like I said, tread carefully.

I mean if he shows he is willing to arrange another time