text panic

You’ve not met in person?

Don’t overthink and overinvest. Take it easy and dont put it more like a relationship. Couples need space and him too. Focus on yourself and just chill with him.

We were texting none stop- now its fizzled to nothing- there is a panic from me- was just going to say

“It’s your last day today isn’t it? (he’s away). Have a really relaxing day -enjoy the space and quiet and we will speak soon ”

Just feel like Im a secondary thought, and obviously I am not if iI am getting these good morning texts- just confused

or something like that?

Honey you’re not gonna like this but I don’t think you’re ready to date. The fact that you were this worked up over someone you have not met, and you were literally in a panic that is the word you were using, means you are not emotionally healthy.

Please please please read up on anxious attachment. I actually also suggest you get a therapist. Until you can date and not care about someone who is not your boyfriend, you shouldn’t be dating. You are way way way way way way out there in terms of your reaction to a total stranger.

This man you have not met, this man who is away, this man who has not asked you out…. this man should mean nothing to you except a passing interest, if he leads.

You should not be initiating anything with a man who is not your boyfriend. Let him do the work and live your life.

Do you not text him anything. You have given too much away emotionally with texting and you think you have some kind of relationship going because of it. You really don’t have anything.

If he texts you when he returns, let him know to set up a date and meet the guy.

Here’s the thing. You don’t know anything about this guy. A bunch of strangers on the internet (us) don’t know anything about this guy. He could be texting multiple other women. He could be married for all you know and just messing around on dating apps. That most definitely happens. This is why you really, really can’t get this emotionally invested in strangers on dating apps.

My sincere advice: If you are this anxious and triggered over this interaction, you really need to work on yourself before you attempt online dating. The dating world is rough. People abruptly stop communicating with you, people set up dates and then flake at the last minute, you meet someone in person and there is zero chemistry or they are nothing like how they seemed online. There are also a lot of time wasters who just like to text with women for the ego boost but never intend to meet. The majority of your interactions online will end this way, to be honest.

As for this particular situation, I advise you to pull back and wait for him to contact you and set up a date or phone call. Don’t text him. The generic “good morning” texts he sends are meaningless– he could be sending those to multiple women. If he’s not texting you to arrange a meeting, he may be keeping you on the back burner while he talks to and meets other women. It’s harsh but true. A guy who wants to meet you sets a date to do so.

The conventional wisdom is that you should not text too much before meeting. If you connect with someone online or through an app and you seem to have things in common, you should arrange to meet as soon as possible. That way, if you truly have a connection, you can begin dating and cultivating a relationship in real life; but if you don’t have chemistry or a connection, you at least know sooner rather than later and can move on.

Hi- both parties have shared a great deal of information – including details of the day /photos etc, so there is a continuity of shared information. No it is not the same as meeting – and technically nobody owes anything to anyone

The investment made by myself i recognise that there is safety in distance but have requested a phone-call to move it from the sanitised space of texting to r/l conversation. this has been agreed to but no time as yet.

The op was so panicked that the query may well have been missed, but the “tone” of the texts and the texts themselves seem more generic, and through the triggered lens were being read as distancing/pul back etc .

whats the best advice- Texting is quite casual in terms of questions almost inane , but now there is nothing personal, or flirty , just “friendly “. Its dialled back , and less full on . So the question was is this potential withdrawal or balancing of time and energy.

The best advise is to get therapy, stop dating until you are more centered. And if you must date, let him lead and do not attach your value to anything he does and live your life.

So after a week his texts are dialed back, friendly but not flirty or personal. As I said before, there is a good chance he’s texting other women. You met on a dating website (or app). People on dating sites/apps are talking to multiple people. Maybe he’s texting with someone he likes better. Or maybe he’s met someone in person and clicked with her.

I will add that sharing photos or details of your day with a stranger over text for 1 week does not merit the level of emotional investment you have in this guy.

As has already been said, we don’t know the reason he’s dialing it back. And the reason doesn’t matter.
If he were interested in meeting you he’ll make it clear. Believe me, he would. If he is dialing his texts way back, not flirting or asking personal questions, he is demonstrating a lack of interest. It’s that simple. You focus on yourself and move on with your life. You can’t force him to be interested in you.