Home › Forums › Did He Lose Interest? › Texting advice
- This topic has 10 replies and was last updated 4 years, 6 months ago by
kaye.
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Sj
Hi I’m so confused right now my ex knocked on my door after 5 years we ended badly a text from him saying it’s over tbh I think he was cheating well he came knocking I was oh,
anyway started texting I went to his house 2 days later and we slept together and seeing each other at least once a week we been texting ok till he went back to work
I’ve seen him once in about 3 weeks 4 days ago he text me ok till 2 days ago and hes gone quiet baring in mind I’ve not text him either,
when I asked yesterday if he still wants see me he said of course he does but today I’m waiting for him text first and nothing for 2 daysLane
I highly suggest you cut him off. This man most likely had too much time on his hands, was going through his black book, and thought “I haven’t see her in a long time, wonder how she’s doing?” Why he knocked on your door, and didn’t message you via social media or other internet platform is questionable. Regardless, it doesn’t sound like he’s changed much at all, probably doing the same thing he did when you broke up the fist time, and why you should have been very leery and superstitious of his true intentions (motives). Instead of waiting, watching, listening, and observing him of a period of time to determine what his *true intentions* (motives() were in contacting you again; you jumped head first right into a shallow pool, and now suffering a concussion.
He has clearly set you up to be an FWB. A man who’s intentions are pure would not leave a lady wondering, or waiting for a text/call, if anything, you would be the one beating him off with a stick because he wants to talk and spend too much time with you! He is not doing this, at all. He pops in and out, at his pleasure, because you accept his crumbs…only birds eat crumbs; whereas a confident woman (one with high self-esteem), wouldn’t put up with that crap, and drop him like a hot skillet.
I highly suggest you pull waaaaaaay back, take sex off the table, don’t text or reach out in any way. The next time he pops in and invites himself to your place again (for more sexy time); ask him straight up what the heck he wants with you because you won’t be messed around or treated like a doormat—he’s either ALL IN or YOUR OUT. Bet you 10-1 he will run away again. This would be a good exercise to build up your confidence, stand your ground (set healthy boundaries), and take your power back.
Sj
I’ve tried cutting him off but I’m struggling too
As if i dont text in while he does and tells me he misses me
He is working alot too 7 am till 6 5 days a week sometimes 6 days week with longer hours he also has a child once a fortnight on weekends tooSj
I’m not sure about fwb as he pick me up round 6pm and stay over and dont bring me bck till about 4pm next day cooks for me when I’m there cuddle watch tv and talk or go for walks
kaye
I’m at a loss after reading your post! You don’t need texting advice, you need boundaries!! First please try punctuation and complete sentences as it makes it easier for us to understand and respond. But how can you be struggling cutting him off when the man was out of your life for 5 YEARS!! It only took him 2 days to get you back into bed so yes it’s FWB unless you are leaving a bunch of information out. For example, if this man showed up at your door with a dozen roses telling you he made the biggest mistake in his life by leaving you and he’s in love with you, can’t live without you and will do absolutely anything to have you back. Then MAYBE I would give the guy a shot but only after seeing if he actions match his words BEFORE I jump into a physical relationship again. Are you even exclusive right now or could he still be sleeping with other women? If he hasn’t said you’re exclusive and his girlfriend again then guess what…you aren’t!!
Sj
Hes bought me gifts like bears with I love you on and earrings
Hes not said right out to me what we are but if has phone calls he mumbled its work they can wait why I have my mrs here
He sent text tonight but ended if with babe just got in from work text you later first time hes said text you later
Hes even let my daughter text him now
LJ
@Sj – You’ve been given good advice here. I don’t understand your latest post, are you trying to defend him? Why?
The advice is to stop texting him and stop waiting for him to text.
Newbie
I cant say anything about his intentions. Have you asked? You seriously lack communication skills even when its about your own life. Ask the guy questions. Me i dont want an ex back but you: at least ask for his motives
Janet
I can’t respond when syntax is such an issue – you don’t need texting advice you need grammar lessons!
Bin Him!cupcake
@Janet That is extremely rude. Not everyone’s first language is English. If you don’t understand something you can ask politely or just ignore the whole post if it offends you so.
This is a place where people come for advice not to be bullied and made fun of for not being native english speakers.kaye
So if he hasn’t said out right the two of you are getting back together and are exclusive then he’s still free to see others. And are you sure it’s work or he’s not wanting to take a phone call from another woman while you’re there? Because when I was dating my husband he always took work calls because he was working so much and knew on the little time off he had if they were calling him it was important!!
And are you telling me it’s been only 3 weeks since you two started seeing him again and you’re already letting your daughter know about it and start texting him? How old is she? I really don’t think it’s a good idea to bring her into this when you won’t even ask him what his intentions are!!!
I don’t understand the significance of “I’ll text you later”. That really means nothing. As you said he’ll go days when you don’t here from him so later could be 2 hours from now or 2 days from now.
I think you’re scared to ask him because you’re afraid of the answer you might get. What if he says he’s not sure about a relationship with you, what if he says let’s just see how this goes or something along those lines. You aren’t wanting to make a decision and are going to allow him to string you along which is a recipe for heartbreak.
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