Texting on Vacation

Say “oh no I understand, I hope you have the best time!! :) ” that is what I do

M – men I know are not single focussed, some can multitask like Julius Cesar and some handle multiple projects, hobbies, families, sports, perfectly well. And most men I know are very attentive to the responses and their timing with replies from people and especially from women. They are not more different from us in that respect, they are human and live in the same world as we do. They might handle silence a little better, but they do notice everything.

El, not responding to his second text would be..hmm..rude. How would you feel if he did that to you? I’d do what Ashley suggested. Why make simple things so complicated? Just be nice and genuine. Say something nice to him while he is on vacation.

Maria,

That is so true!! My boyfriend can tell if I’m irriated with him over text just by whether or not I use fewer words or don’t put an emoji! And he’ll make comments if I don’t reply back to a text regardless of whether it had a question or not. He notices everything!! Not to mention if we’re in a fight he’ll tell me how he checked his phone 100 times to see if I sent a message. So guys do notice and it does bother them.

So yes I think not responding back is rude and it makes it look like you’re pouting. I would simply say, no problem, I know you’re busy having fun on your vacation. Can’t wait to hear all about it.

You are not even exclusive! For all you know he is having fun with other women while on vacation. And he can and should be. You are only dating this man. So I would forget the text issue. If this man is really into you, a silly text isn’t going to make or break anything.

That’s pretty passive aggressive, isn’t it? For a man who won’t be exclusive. Think about that.

Whatever happened to responding because you want to, and not to clarify anything. Remember that the intent of why you text is the key factor here. Neediness and only doing things to get a response for your own gratification is a killer in a relationship. People pick up on that quick, and it’s annoying.

If you really wished him well on text and not expecting a response from anyone, then don’t expect one and go on with the rest of your day. If they respond great.

If you are only texting to get clarity then you are being needy, it’s all in the mindset. Initiate because you really do have something to say, to him and not expect ANYTHING AT ALL FROM ANYONE, you aren’t exclusive at all and it’s only a month and a half. Be yourself, you don’t need to worry this early on, you don’t need to justify yourself or your reasons of not texting anyone. If you don’t respond or it takes a few min/hours it’s because you truly are busy. If you respond right away then great, it means you had a few sec. of free time.

Yes my husband notices little things like Kaye and Maria mentioned. He’ll get upset if I don’t put three kisses at the end of a text! But the single focus is equally true. When we’re apart, I’ll generally hear from him a lot when he’s having a quiet time at home but rarely, if at all, while he’s working or busy.

El you initiated on Monday so now it’s down to him to contact you. Quite honestly I’d feel a bit paranoid if I were you too. But you don’t know his situation. He may have a lot to catch up on after being away.

Men can sense the “needy” vibe a million miles away. Just as they can sense when a woman is happy and independent (which is when they tend to resurface).

I think it depends on the guy. But in my personal experience, any guy that was really into me, did not like to go very long without contact, because they were thinking someone else might catch my interest.

Now I am not the type to cheat if I’m in a committed relationship, but I don’t let a guy lock me down if he wants to continue dating, either.

I was dating my ex (exclusively BF/GF) for a few months at the time, when he went away on a long fishing weekend with his kids, and his buddies (and their kids) to a remote cabin. He told me cell reception was really bad, and based on the area I know that to be true.

So I told him to have a great time (and meant it) and expected not to communicate for 3 or 4 days (till he got back). Funny enough, since I expected nothing and kept happy busy doing my own thing, he found a way to call me every day, even when he had to drive/or take a walk to get reception. He also sent some text pics of the trip when he could.

At that point, I knew he was pretty serious about me, because he was making a real effort to show I was on his mind, and he cared what I thought. He also kept telling me he wished I was there, and he missed me.

So again, some guys pay more attention (and are more vocal) than others, and some guys only do it when they are really crazy about a girl. Time will tell with this one as you get to know him.

Omi I actually have read all of the articles on texting and relationship. I do understand the neediness and it really is all mind control and how we manage it. I know I have some issues I need to work on. Maybe I should read them again!

I feel a lot better reading your posts. thank you

Phillygirl…I hear what your saying and only time will tell.

Hi Ladies

Thank you all for your words and I agree that things did start to get a bit off when he left.

He still hasn’t contacted me and I noticed yesterday we was online on the dating site we met.

So I guess something happened that changed his mind about me. The last time I saw him was last Monday and everything seemed fine. Obviously we have been intimate with each other and I guess I just cannot pinpoint where the change came. We had been communicating up to the day before he left. I won’t question whether this trip really happened since he did mention it to me weeks before.

I guess I am just hurt and pissed that he would stop contacting me and I kept using the trip as an excuse for him not reaching out but now it is obvious. He seemed like a pretty direct truthful guy, just wish he would have said something.