Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › texts then blocks, texts then blocks
- This topic has 21 replies and was last updated 2 years, 11 months ago by
tammy.
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P
why would an ex (50s)text me then immediately block me before I can reply like in the same min of his texts coming through?
I could understand if it was a goodbye text etc but he did this after a thank you text for a email I sent him to offer my condolences after he lost someone close. I get that we are not together so I figured ok he wanted just to say thank you and not hear back. I get that.
He then rang me on a blocked number and we talked for ages an hour or so it was mostly about the person he lost. It was good to hear from him and to know that he was hurting but ok.
Later that day he sent me a couple of photos of something that he has been working on to show me, but 2 min! later when I went to say thanks for showing me it looks great I realized he had reblocked my number. Is this a game? Why send me something and say I want to show you and then instantly re-block?
thoughts?
tammy
Next time he texts just ask him! and if his answers dont resonate, just block his number and then delete him from your phone and all chat and social media platforms. simple.
P
@tammy – I can’t ask because I’m blocked within seconds of his text.
AngieBaby
He’s controlling your access to him. I”m guessing it’s because doesn’t want you to get the wrong idea that he’s interested in you romantically again. Let it go, he’s probably hurting fpretty bad rom the loss of that person to play games like this at his age.
tammy
i said next time he texts, ask him. if he has blocked you nothing much u can do anyways.
Ewa
how about you block him and stop wondering why he does not, do not let him contact you again, simple as that, it doesn’t look like he is mentally stable so why are you entertaining him
P
I broke up with him over some of his behaviors. Including blocking when he was feeling upset. This is different though and you are probably right @Anglebaby he is controlling the contact. But it’s just odd to send me a text that is unnecessary then instantly blocking me again. Why show me?
I don’t want to block him as I said I would be there as a friend if he needed to talk. He hasn’t got many friends and he lost his closest friend. I care for him as a person. I’m not a blocker, but he is.
Ewa
no offence here but if this was other way around , no men would want to stay friends with an ex like that unless they like drama
why women do that I have no idea…
my ex was doing the same thing, whenever something wasn’t going his way and I wanted to talk he was switching his phone off, turned out he was a sociopath …Newbie
You have posted about this guy a lot in the past 8 months or so right? How he commented on how you hug your kid, demanding constant attention, some weird sexual stuff i forgot, threatening to check dating apps because you were busy. All we told you he is trying to control you and a very weird specimen. This is just another variation of the same stunts. Im really glad though its finally over. I think you should really rethink you want him as a friend. There is a reason he has little friends. I mean its really sweet you want to be his friend but i dont see many reasons he deserves it
Liz Lemon
Why be available to him as a friend if his behavior puzzles and upsets you? I say that it upsets you because you came here to post about it, so it must bother you that he blocks you.
I would not entertain a person who is so childish and petty. He’s acting like he’s in high school. You say he hasn’t got many friends, well this is why! Texting then immediately blocking, calling from blocked numbers– it’s all very controlling, as another poster has already said.
Instead of ruminating over his behavior, I suggest you look at yourself. Why are you tolerating this person? From the sound of it it’s a completely one sided friendship. You’re there for him when he needs you, but it’s not reciprocal. If you were in crisis and needed to talk, he would not be there for you. Why invest in a “friendship” like that?
Liz Lemon
Also I agree with AngieBaby that it’s a game, but I suspect he gets off on the fact that he knows you’re trying to contact him but can’t because you are blocked. I would not play into his bull$hit.
Lane
Why do you have such a compelling need to psychoanalyze this guy? He doesn’t have the problem because he has a track record of being this way, it’s how he IS but for some reason it still drives you nuts?
When someone drives me nuts, I disconnect from them completely. How many more times do you need to be whipped, or in this case, blocked, before you finally say “screw this a-hole” and block him back forever??? That is the question you need to seek the answer to, not what he’s doing but why YOU keep not only allowing but enabling it?
AngieBaby
Now I’m remembering your previous posts about him. This is absolutely no surprise given the bizarre things he was doing before.
He does s*** like this because you’ve trained him you will tolerate anything from him and not walk away. And because he’s extremely immature. As others have pointed out, there’s a good reason he has few friends and no GF or wife.
You said you’d be there for him. Why?? That is blind, foolish loyalty. Saying yes to him forces you to say no to yourself. Over and over. And for some reason you are OK with being his punching bag and doormat.
Anyone else would have walked away from him long ago. So obviously staying connected to him meets a need for you. Are you a rescuer or something? This is a giant waste of your precious time and energy.
Insane is defined as doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. You’re always going to get crazy from him, you have plenty of evidence for that, so it’s really on you to examine your insane choices where he’s concerned and STOP ALL CONTACT if you don’t like what he’s dishing out. You’ve been given great advice here every time you’ve posted about him but you’re not taking it. I have to be blunt – you really have no right to complain when you’re willingly exposing yourself to his nuttiness.
Erin
Please just block him in return, he is an adult(50) he knows what he is doing and he means it!
Why would you want to be there for someone like this, heck why would you even want to be his friend. Friends don’t treat friends like trash and it is a one sided friendship as well.
You’re not his therapist, don’t try to Florence Nightingale him
There’s an interesting article on Florence Nightingale from Baggage Reclaim
“Florence Nightingale, the woman who chooses her relationships based on the opportunity to fix/heal/help. She needs to be needed and it gives her a sense of control, plus being with someone who in their eyes has issues or is ‘broken’ proves to be the perfect foil to hide behind with her own issues. Often without any ‘malice’ intended, this style of ‘loving’ stems from her own unresolved pain and misguided ideas about what loving someone involves”
YOU deserve peace not drama and he is an ex for a reason!
P
Thanks for all your replies, yes it is the same guy that I’ve posted about many times.
I don’t know why but after I heard from him I could clearly remember how good it felt when I ended it. But again as time goes on I get that feeling of wanting to connect with him, I don’t reach out but I start thinking of him and wondering if I could have made it work if I had of tried harder.
I know this is nuts. But when I get out of a relationship that is not great I’m initially very happy but after a few weeks I feel a loss and longing for them. Why ?
I don’t want to be with him but I miss something about him that I can’t quiet work out what.
He really wasn’t very nice to me, during the phone call he said non positive things about me, subtle put downs etc I did call him on it and said are you trying to hurt me by saying that, he said no just saying it how it is.
Why am I still thinking about him!? 🙄
Maddie
“I know this is nuts. But when I get out of a relationship that is not great I’m initially very happy but after a few weeks I feel a loss and longing for them. Why ?”
Look up insecure attachment style. This is a common theme after breakups for a couple of the attachment style types. You may see that one of them rings true for you and explains a lot of the dating dynamics you’re experiencing.
Claws
Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown, ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.
Chloe marsh
Hi I wonder if anyone can help me and my ex have been chat for about year and he keep block me then unblock me why he is he doin this is he play games with me
Raven
Because @Chloe marsh- He’s a toddler & probably needs changed…
tammy
this time you should block him and let him stay blocked.
p
I’m the original poster. @chloe people that do this are emotional manipulators. These people are not well. Block and move on. They enjoy playing with your anxiety over them.
I moved on, the guy was really mentally unstable.it can be hard to see clearly when they get you caught up in their head games.
tammy
@p. glad that you took advice from the posters here and finally blocked him forever.
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