The Guy That I Like Bailed On Me and Idk why

He might be gone, he might not be. It does not sound like you did anything wrong. Some core learnings:

A. Never contact a man more than once. One text, one response, and certainly not followed up by a call.
B. If you are not exclusive by 2-3 months, you are not going to be, and should not continue seeing someone under those circumstances if you want a committed relationship. Men who want to be your boyfriend, act like a boyfriend quite soon.
C. If a man you were seeing for 4 months disappears without a trace, he is an asshole. You deserve a proper breakup (if that is what he is doing) after 5 dates…

Do not contact him again. If he goes away for more than 2-3 days, you can decide if that is ok with you or not.

Look at it from a reverse situation, if he was the one telling you ‘just watching tv, what about you?’ and you would ‘dare’ not to respond, would he go all crazy? Would he call you? Would he be biting his nails looking for an answer why? I doubt so..instead, he would Have gone about his daily busy life, gone out with the guys, play video games, whatever. And, it would Have YOU wondering, why is he not wondering? And maybe made you rethink your choice of not replying. That is why we only send one text, and no more, and certainly we do not ‘reward’ his behavior of not replying with giving him attention of another call (unless Its for the purpose of logística). it only shows who is the more relaxed one in your ‘relationship’, who s got the upper hand. Drop him dead, like he didnt existed, Dont give him the time of the day.

1st of all, stop looking at his social media. If you have to unfollow him, or block him then unblock so you guys aren’t following each other do it! I did this with someone to see if they would hit my phone without them coincidentally texting me after a posted an IG photo and it worked. They were busy on a trip and they were used to hit me up the day they got back like usual asked me why I haven’t hit them up and I acted as if I was busy. (I kind of was but wasn’t). That’s besides that, look you have to cut all the petty crap out with the social media and be an adult. He is busy. Guys get sidetracked. There is a reason we call them dogs. They literally have an attention span like a dog. They like going out with the guys and they will probably do that first most the time. They want to feel like they can do that whenever they want because they don’t want tied down. Don’t call him if he doesn’t text back. Just do something else. If you think about him the next day text or call like usual ask him what he ended up doing the night before to show your interest and move on. Guys are naturally are not going to work as hard because he has already been dating you. He already got you to like him now he can relax. Let him relax, you relax and you both will relax.

Hey guys thanks for the advice. Well I’m back with an update and I’m more confused now than ever. He texted me last night and this was his exact words. “Respect me for not stringing you along more than needed, or for playing with your heart and feelings.” “Respect me for being honest and true, take care!” I didn’t even respond I just blocked his number because I didn’t understand what he meant. Those statements were so vague. I was under the impression that everything was great with him and I. Like I said before we’ve always had good times together, never a bad or dull moment. He told me he had been single for a year and a half and he wasn’t dating anyone seriously. I think he was lying to me the entire time, and maybe he had a girlfriend, or an old thing came back into his life. What do you ladies think?

Hi Haley,

He’s trying to tell in the nicest way possible that he’s no longer interested in seeing you. What he’s saying is to please respect him for not taking it further where your heart could have been more hurt than it is now if he continued seeing you knowing it wasn’t going to end in a relationship.

Its good that you didn’t sleep with because trust me it would hurt three times more than what your feeling now. Just let him go, move on, start dating again and try not to invest in one guy until he’s pretty sure how he feels about you and expresses it to you, until then you are a FREE AGENT who should be dating other guys and CHOOSING only the one who’s putting in A LOT more effort than this one did :-)

Haley, What he meant was that the two of you wouldnt end up in a relationship and he didn’t want to string you along and he hoped you would respect him for ending it.

Next time don’t let yourself get so emotionally attached to a man that doesn’t step up and make you his girfriend in 4 months. That in itself says, this isn’t serious. Actually, I do respect him for ending it and being honest. Sure it hurts, but being strung along when a guy has no intentions of making you his girfriend is way worse. He really did you a favor, he’s not your guy, he’s not wasting your time anymore, it’s quite honorable considering the men who lie to girls for sex or even just companionship and really string them along.

Then next time around I would learn that I had to ask a guy earlier than 4 months what he was looking for, a relationship or not and if I saw a guy was being more casual with me, not asking to be exclusive by 4 months is very casual then I’d start asking myself if this was going anywhere or not.

Oh and kudos to you for not getting intimate cause then you would be more hurt.

The good news is your guy is still out there and now you are free to find him. Yay!!!

Haley, I would not make that assumption. He liked you or he wouldn’t of spent that much time with you, he just wasn’t envisioning you in his future, which is OK, that’s what the dating process is about. I have let guys go even after we were in a relationship for many different reasons from them being TOO SERIOUS, some being defective (liars, cheaters), or we just weren’t a good match in the way a couple needs to be.

Don’t worry about the WHY, just be thankful he didn’t waste any more of your time and now free to find the man you’re truly meant to be with :-) This is not a reflection on YOU, because there’s a guy out there who WILL LOVE ALL your qualities and traits and it will be clear as day! :-) When dating, one or both parties at anytime can change their mind for whatever reason; no differently than you may have reasons to avoid a friend, change jobs, or move to a different apartment complex. Whatever your reasons for doing is because your choosing whats best or right for YOU…same concept.