The non response to a text

You are chasing him. Stop. For the first several dates you should be basically responding and mirroring his interest. Also, if you texted him and he called within 24 hours, that is a responce.

Also, his expression in words means nothing. Men say all sorts of stuff that they mean in the moment. You need to wait and see if he backs it up with actions and you are not doing that. You are filling that space for him.

If you keep at this, his interest is going to wane very quickly. And when a man does not respond, unless he is your boyfriend, you say nothing. Men do what they want.

Ok thanks I’m just not use to this dating thing have only started and am not sure what or how it works ..
Will wait till he pursues and respond the like..

Well now that you told him it is not respectful of him not to reply and he still did not reply, draw your conclusions. Do not ignore this.

I don’t think you should have told him about his texting manners so directly, instead, you should have stopped texting him completely. And stop replying to his texts as well, and only if he asked you why, then you could have said, well you are not replying to my texts..

But now, since you already told him it makes you feel disrespected, and he continues, he is disrespecting you purposefully, and this is not a good trait. Usually when a guy does one thing of this nature, there will be more, so be cautious. Take your time with this guy.

You are showing too much interest to him anyway. You need to slow down and stay detached with guys so early on. Otherwise they will lose interest in you or start taking you for granted.

I don’t think it was a good idea to scold him for not getting back to you right away – yes, if he was your BF and your text was asking for help or some emergency – but he’s not your BF and you barely know the guy. He doesn’t have to respond right away when you are the one texting him – you are leaving him no personal choice and freedom here – and you’ve gone on ONE date. This is controlling behavior. This is the kind of behavior men RUN from.

And then you say that he’s been having personal issues. Give the guy a break.

So yes, he’s testing you now. Because if you scold him again you will fail that test and he will never call you again. It’s just not worth it for a guy to chance going out with a woman who is trying to control him after the first date. He imagines what it would be like after the fifth date. He’s thinking prison. This is a nightmare to a man. Whatever you do, stop chasing him and let him initiate all communications and mirror his actions.

Unsure what I do communicate to him I thought you tell them what is right and wrong according to what you accept I don’t expect someone to communicate straight away but that week when he never replied he told me he would call and for me to text him as well so that I did but he didn’t we were suppose to be going to dinner hence he was to call regarding arrangements then he replied that afternoon so I rang him and we chatted but dinner didn’t eventuate hence why I informed him I prefer he let me know what’s going on earlier not late notice .. I don’t know maybe I’m not ready to date still unsure about anything ..
I’m not controlling I just expect same courtesy but I know guys are different anyhow …

So why are some guys like that .. You know flakey?
It’s sad really cause I have so much in common with him and such great chemistry and then that happens … guess I just didn’t want to loose that ..

Do guys act flakey to test you ?

But I don’t understand why a guy would behave like that to test how you would respond ..

Mmm guess it’s back to the drawing board … I’m not the best on dating but know there are certain traits I don’t want and flakiness is one .. why they don’t follow through with there words has got me .. I’m not ugly and have plenty of options just selective and it’s rare a guy comes along with similar attributes and you can really connect both mentally spiritually and physical attraction ..
I just didn’t want to loose that …

If he does get in contact again what do I say to a just carry on like nothing’s happened and I’ve been enjoying life or do I vice my frustration .. Say well good to see I’ve been on your mind a lot ..

Help please …

Ok I’ll just carry on as though nothing has happen ..
guess I realize now how much I must mean to him .. Why do guys come on strong like that at first I didn’t quite like him thought the connection was nice which interested me to see how far it would go .. then he explained his dramas to me once he was convinced I was keen to still pursue him dramas and all he decides to go flaky …
If only he realized the value of the connection we have but obviously he doesn’t ..

If he eventually contact me how do you create an atmosphere where the guy wants you ?

I’m a happy funny and fun adventurous girl don’t mind getting my hands dirty either …and easily reflect confidence etc love being me .. but since meeting him I’ve never felt so comfortable being myself with him and he has commented and attracted to that .. and now he has my guard down let me into his world emotionally and left my confidence exposed to vulnerableness and feeling out of control due to going MIA for days ..,

Is this What guys do ?

Oh ok thanks Jessica for the advice will do :)

If its been a week – then I would take at least a couple of days to get back to him. If its been a day – then I would text him the next day. Wait at least half the time that it took him to text you – no less.

If he likes you he won’t wait so long to text you next time. Guys can do the math pretty quickly. They respect a woman who sets boundaries in a non-confrontational, non-dramatic way.

Leanne,

Do not text him until he texts you first. When he does text you, do not play games with waiting. Text him back when it’s convenient for you and when you see his message. The advice to wait a certain amount of time before responding comes from a misunderstanding of the adage “men like the chase.” Men value winning over a women who values herself. That is very different from playing games, such as delaying a response. Men know when they are being manipulated and will run.

I’m stating the rest of my advice clearly, just like I would to a girlfriend. Keep in mind when reading, it’s not my intention to hurt you but rather to spare you from unnecessary emotional turmoil. I hate to see “sisters” hurt themselves.

As for why your guy is doing certain things, he backed off because you acted needy. He is under no obligation to respond to a text message and the fact you even brought it up told him you are insecure. Spend some time reading the articles on here (the ones written by Eric are usually spot on and Sabrina is good, too). Stay away from the forums; I see a lot of bad advice on here, although I am sure it’s given with the best of intentions.

I could be wrong, but you sound insecure. Why don’t you spend some time reading articles on here to familiarize yourself with the opposite sex. Spend your free time involved in activities and with people you enjoy and work on building your confidence so that you aren’t so worried about “what” a guy thinks and “why” he’s acting a certain way. You will never know why a specific person behaves the way they do and it’s irrelevant, anyway. The only thing that matters early on is whether you enjoy your time with them. Don’t fall into the trap of playing emotional detective. 99% of the forum posts I see are from women wanting to know why their man did something. It’s a waste of your time. Good luck!

The reason you need to wait to respond is because that’s what a confident, non-needy, secure girl would do. That’s what I’d do and a guy whose interested will keep texting and it won’t phase him or bruise his ego that you didn’t respond right away. He will just keep trying to get your attention.

Why would I jump to text back a guy who waited a week to text me? I could have forgotten his name by then? He has no idea you’re obsessing over him. THAT would not be good. Let him think you are SO busy having fun that you don’t know if you have time on your dance card. Or at least that he’s moved down the list since he didn’t demonstrate his dedication. I like guys that kiss my feet so to speak. If they make it into my life they will become a king – so they need to show dedication to ME.

It may seem like games because you are over eager – but you really need to hold back your natural inclination to text him right back – and wait to respond. You decide how long. Regardless, you need to wait in order to take back your power, his respect and reset the balance between you two. You are chasing and too keen – it makes the guy feel like you are available at the drop of a hat for him – like he’s got you in the bag and you never want him to think that. Until you get yourself under control, you’ve got to fake it till you make it.

For dudes, it is all about timing. When they are in the zone to pick a mate, they pick one available to them. If they are not in that zone, they won’t. Doesn’t matter how much “chemistry” there is. Chemistry is fun, and when they are in the mood, they will reach out for it. But until they hit the zone…. forget about it. MOVE THE EFF ON!!!! Chances are the chemistry was pretty basic anyway, if you only have bad experiences to compare to. Don’t go down the rabbit hole. There is nothing down there but a hard surface.