Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › The "What are you looking for" Question
- This topic has 29 replies and was last updated 7 years, 10 months ago by
Crisula.
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Rose
I’m sorry to point this out but sounds like a contradiction. You dont care but don’t want to be in the dark. You don’t want a relationship but you want to break the code. Why is it important to you then? … To know you’re dating a player so you don’t get excited about him? … You sound like you do want a relationship but have lost all hope so you say you don’t think you want one. I’ve been there, it’s hard to be so discouraged. If you really don’t care then date the hot ones having in mind they’re all players. Usually hot men are because they usually get away with it.
Bree
Rose, it’s ok, I realize it sounds like a contradiction. That’s why I said in my OP that I was confused, and possibly did not know what I wanted. It was one of the things that led me to wonder about this Q because I genuinely didn’t know how to answer it and I knew that was bad. It’s hard to wrap my head around, because I do want a relationship in theory, but truthfully do not feel I am ready for it. I feel if I got into one it would be enjoyable but I wouldn’t be able to sustain it because I’m not exactly where I want to be in my life–mostly financially–and being a single mother makes dating VERY complicated. My son is my life, yet I would never let a man near him, so how can I let any man into my life? I suppose I will have to stick to casual until I have my sh*t together. But yes, I don’t like being in the dark because I CAN fall for sweet talk. Of course the hot men, even if they’re players, sometimes attract me with their charm and although I am very good at seeing thru the BS it does not mean my heart is 100% immune to them.
Amy
I believe it’s a way of gauging how desperate someone is. AND guys will run to the nearest exit if they smell desperate. To avoid sounding desperate, of course you don’t have to say things like you’re being casual because that gives off the wrong impression.
If your answer makes the guy think “Uh, okay, not sure what it is yet, but i think i got one or two things out of it”, then there you have your answer. You don’t have to believe me, but that will have him pay more attention to you than when you give specific answers. Examples include “I don’t know, but… (only pick out one thing or two that you care about)” or “I love where i am right now, but it’ll be awesome to get together occasionally with someone who appreciates ____ “. Just my two cents.
Jay
Since I wasted my time reading about how to waste a guys time… The correct answer is sex, thank you.
Crisula
this post is 2 years old
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