Think I'm too old for all this

Hi Ashley,

How do I do that without him thinking I’ve fallen out with him.

I can’t fall out, we have too many mutual friends, and I’m not going to get into
making it awkward for anyone.

Raven – behave –
I was asking Ashley.

So analytical, and judgemental – which was really helpful btw

Read my last message to Ashley, she never came on here ‘labelling’ me.

Thats not nice or productive.
I’d rather speak with people that dont put me under a heading.

I am actually listening to her and as I mentioned in a previous message, I did say, she made a lot of sense.

Op – you are in a big thick pile of denial now… but don’t feel about it as everyone here went thru that stage… me, I had to learn the lesson twice to really get it….

In no more than 3 months, you will totally agree with us that if you have to ask, if you have to wonder, he does not like you, at least not enough….

Meemee,

I hope your right.

What I was asking Ashley, and yourself, is I’m not sure how to handle it from here on.

Whether to just say hi and continue as normal, but obviously not hook up. I must admit I do instigate as much if not more than him – a sexual relationship is nice, obviously.

But maybe just continue as friends, and not go down that route I suppose in future.

Look I’m not getting an argument – I’m merely saying yor categorising yourself now as these people who have been giving me advice.

Whether they were harsh or not, you gave no advice as they did and labelled me. And then talk of others advice.
Please just leave it there.

Here it is….straight.

You are a grown a$$ woman. Start acting like it. You are making up all these excuses why you can’t just back away and resume control of your life.

Who cares what he thinks. He’s supposed to be a grown a$$ man.

What do you do? You back way up. Initiate nothing and stop accepting any home/sex meet ups.

If he says hello, say hello politely and give no more than you would any other aquaintance.

You can be cordial and nice without more. Don’t flirt and certainly refuse invitations home with him.

If he asks why, you say that you are not interested in this current arrangement (for all intents and purposes) of casual hookup and no strings sex.

If he really cares about you more than that, he will ask to start over and DATE you. His actions so far predict he just fades away.

You are afraid to lose the “nothing” he is giving you, so you are avoiding addressing the elephant in the room.

Your feelings are now involved. You will get hurt either way, but a lot less if it ends sooner rather than later.

You are making a fool of yourself, which is not attractive at any age, and less so the older we get and should know better.

We are truly trying to help you, but you are digging in your heels, being stubborn, and not taking any of the advice, then wondering why we are being so harsh and blunt.

30 is too old for this, 40 is crazy to act this way. Fifties is beyond ridiculous ridiculous. Take your power back and act like the woman of value you clearly are…should you only choose to realize it. You are obviously no dummy but you’ve let this guy check your common sense at the door

This is another Mike post. Only mike argues back like this and selectively picks people he wants to eapobd to and engage is silly banter and naive and ridiculous discussion.

Be pleasant but distant, in a ladylike way that shows you know what you want & will not accept less (without saying the words) think of this as a change of mindset more than action.

Try to see this objectively: you are putting him on a pedestal that he doesn’t deserve to be on. See how you asked how do you do this without making him think you’ve fallen out with him? That’s totally missing the point & backwards.

HE should be the one worrying about earning/impressing you!

The reason you’re in this predicament is your mindset is backwards. You are making him out to be the prize instead of yourself. All you have to do is realize this & do nothing but be pleasant.

If you re-read this post, things don’t add up. This post has seemed to be sort of surreal from the get go. Scuba diving, really? What may be right..

Hi Ashley,

I do see where your coming from.
And think – yes I do need to put myself before him and realise the more
as you call it – I make him out to be the prize then the more I’m encouraging
him – and letting him know it’s ok.

I will definately take your advice and hopefully move forward in the right
direction.
I will keep you posted also.
Thanks so much.

Can’t wait for the update…