Thinking About Losing My Virginity

I’ve been a virgin a really long time. I’m almost 40 and have never had sex. Mainly because I’ve never met the right person. I’ve never met anyone who I wanted to give that part of myself to.

A month ago, Rick and I matched on a dating app. We hit it off right away messaging back and forth and after 11 days, he asked me out on a date. I was out of town for the next 9 days, and told him I’d love to go on a date when I was back in town. We exchanged numbers and texted each other every day until I was back in town and then we finally had the chance to meet and go out on a date.

The date was great! I felt really comfortable with him really quickly. Like more comfortable than I’ve ever been with anyone else. For the first time, I was truly just myself and not trying to impress a guy or be what I thought he’d want. He seemed pretty relaxed and comfortable too. After talking for a few hours, we made out a little and cuddled. We continued to text daily (him initiating all texts) and scheduled a second date. The second date was incredible! We kissed, made out, cuddled, and gave each other back massages. At this point, I told him I was a virgin. He was very respectful and didn’t pressure me.

Since our second date, he’s been texting me and telling me that he wants to make love with me, but he understands I’m not ready yet. He’s told me multiple times now that he wants to make love with me and earlier tonight he asked me if I’d be comfortable with oral sex. I said I wasn’t quite there yet and also said we need to get tested for STIs first. He said ok and told me “whatever you’re comfortable with.”

I’ll be honest, I’ve waited a REALLY long time to have sex and I REALLY do want to. But I’m a little nervous that this might be moving too fast. And I’m apprehensive because what if I sleep with him and things don’t work out? I’ve waited all this time! Do I really want it to be with someone I don’t end up with? And what if he’s just using me? He doesn’t seem like he would, but you never know. Some guys see being with a virgin as some sort of challenge.

I do really like him and I do want to be intimate with him and I don’t want to make him wait forever. But I worry that if I do this, I might regret it later.

We have our third and fourth dates planned already – him initiating and planning.

I guess what I’m asking is: How long are guys willing to wait? Is this moving too fast? Is it appropriate for me to ask to be exclusive before having sex? Any other advice would be super helpful.