Thinking of being Single

Lately I’ve been feeling like I want to be single. Not to find someone else, not to go party I just want to be left alone.
I’ve realized how narcissistic my bf has become or has always been. There is too much double standards and I am tired of reasoning with somebody that only wants to be listened to but cannot listen when talked to. Everything he does is right. Everything I do is wrong. And I’m constantly feeling belittle, and not good enough. He says he’s not right in everything, yet he has never said he was wrong once. I just don’t speak anymore to avoid a prolonged argument. I stay quiet and that just makes him feel even more right, like he shut me up or something. I use to believe in love and marriage but now I can’t stand the thought of a marriage. I can’t stand the thought of relationships no more. I just want to live my life without all this toxicity and negativity I feel from him. And I’ve begin to feel icky about men in general. Like I don’t want to be in a relationship with one again. I would have walked out on this, but we’ve been together 5 years and we have a toodler son together and we’re both early 30s. I’m contemplating everyday to break this up but I feel tied to him for some reason. I’ve completely lost all my joy. I just function because I have to for my child and go to work. I am so stressed. I can’t vent anything to this man. He’s just stubborn in his own ways yet has the audacity to say he is emotionally intelligent. He keeps going on and on about how we cannot be compared because he’s a man and I’m a woman. That child duties falls on me. That me going to my work christmas party coming in December, makes me more likely to be flirted with than him going to his. Another thing, he has Facebook, and Instagram and all that social media crap that I call dating sites (because that’s what people use it for these days) and because I found out he cheated on me through Facebook a year ago, I asked him to deactivate all his accounts, which he never has, I on the other hand do not have any social media accounts, but I use my mom’s facebook profile on my phone when needed, to access company places that do not have a website and only facebook pages and its solely for that, and he wants to gaslight me into being on it. Even the most petty things like I wanted to have my car windows tinted, and he wants to know why like I’m going to be sneaking men in my car. Yet he’s car is 100% tinted.

I’m passed resentments, and disappointments, I’ve learnt to keep calm and let it slide. I forgive myself eachtime I tolerate this crap. Thinking that maybe it’s me. Maybe I am wrong. I try to be happy. I pray hard. And things might be okay for a few days but then here comes something else I’m not doing right. I truly do not like the way he thinks. I’m baffled everyday asking myself how did I not see this earlier. I do not feel inlove anymore. I fantasize about being single, no man drama, just me and my son in a lovely house thriving. I honestly feel like I will be better of solo. Any thoughts on this is appreciated. Thank you.