Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › This is so HORRIBLE
- This topic has 18 replies and was last updated 9 years, 7 months ago by
EM.
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EM
I was searching things about FWB things and how people feel about them in general and I came across this website and I found it offensive and deceiving to women. This guy is a complete douchebag.
It makes me loose faith in humanity. I was already having hard time going out on dates and putting myself out there and finding this makes me want to just never wanna date anymore.
Google this: retention how to keep fuck buddies in an uncommitted relationships
the website name is goodlookinglooserKhadija
Unbelievable! Reading this and boy am I spooked about the guys out there.
may
Watch it because it shows you all the tricks and what to avoid.
soni
the site also shows that most women deep down know what to do when faced with a not so great situation regarding men. its easy to see what’s not quite right and share ur views when we sit in the objective chair. its only when we are committed or invested emotionally that we lose our common sense and rationality. :-)
Dauny
Hmmm. Good information to know. A lot of it seemed like the same stuff we are advised to do, such as getting them to chase, be unpredictable, leave them wanting more, etc. I will say though, if he has to resort to all that he must not be all that exceptionally equipped because if he were he wouldn’t have to say much at all…lol
EM
Yeah, we should take it as a lesson and weed out the guys that behave the way its portrayed in that article.
And it’s almost a validation for him that he can keep girls without any commitment…and he encourages that type of behavior by saying in the video that you’re not just an average guy who needs to be in a relationship to get sex.
redcurleysue
That is why it is critical for women to really know a man. There are players out there and as we can see they have taken to giving each other advice as to how to be a player.
Having sex early with one of these guys will end in heartache…it is interesting to note that he tells guys that women always want more at some point…
But even he points out that there are good men out there…although he makes them sound boring…we know they are not. They want a partner and lover. They are willing to be a friend.
Keep that in mind ladies…there are good men.
L
Ok I didn’t watch this yet but do you think a man feels the need to do this no matter what? Just recently had a fight with my FWB over this because I felt like he was trying to retain me with sweet talk, hot cold behavior…..making something so simple, so confusing…..when he didn’t even have to since we clearly agreed to NSA sex. I was pissed that he had started to make me feel like a fool by saying he “had feelings for me” and stuff…with no actions behind it supposedly due to his very busy job at the moment
Pasito
I agree with redcurlysue. If women were a little more selective with who they had sex with, 1. they wouldn’t bond with men too early because of oxytocin and 2. men would have to be less douchey in general in order to get laid.
L
Alright come on this guy is such a MAAAAAJOR douche if you listen to anything that comes out of his ugly slow mouth….no
L
Ok I have to say this works for women too….all I have to do to play a guy is fall somewhere in between complete whore and devoted wife! Give him “some progress” to make him think he’s converting me to a gf. And always leave him wanting more. Got it
may
He isn’t advocating being a player or a super scum bag. I’m not saying I like him at all but pretend he is a woman. Remove the emotions we all feel thinking of any guy acting with such a callous plan and you will see, as Dauny said, this is similar to advice we are given. If you are dating, you should be trying to see several people and until the exclusivity talk comes up, assume he is too. After 3 – 6 months the talk should naturally come up. Even this guy admits that he found his permanent, serious girlfriend and doesn’t sleep around but he waited 6 months before he decided that.
It’s unhealthy to feel you’re in love or really know someone under 6 months. If you don’t like the idea of circular dating with sex, which is suggested to many women and seen as keeping their power, then just don’t do the sex part until you feel there is a talk about exclusivity. Anyone who bought that whole, “why do we need to ruin this with a label”, shifty eyed answer he showed … wow – just needing a slap upside the head if you are silly enough to fall for that malarkey.
You play that type at their own game, you don’t have ‘the talk’, you leave him wondering what this is and you live an active fun life and you don’t chase. Guess what – douches fall by the wayside really quickly!
Alexis
I’ll be honest…I laughed throughout most of this video. This guy is a piece of work. He has some good points…but a lot of his stuff I have a bone to pick. I took notes…so bear with me.
1. This guy lives in LA. So I’m not surprised he’s superficial. I think whenever you live in city you kinda have to keep up with the crowd and conform to the norms around you. And all that jazz. So I get why the way he is. With that being said, this guy kinda seems like an in the closet Pick Up Artist. I agree with May he isn’t a player or a scumbag, women could easily do this too. And I’ve seen a few dating experts tell women to date and sleep with multiple men.
2. Which brings me to my next point. And internally I struggle with this thought. If a guy is sleeping or has been sleeping with other girls. I think that would bother me. They always said in health class lol…if you sleep with one guy, you sleep with everyone he’s been with. Haha that just skeeves me out. I guess as long as your protecting yourself and being safe with it? Have at it? But at the same time author Kara King but it best…”You can’t turn a ho into a husband”
3. With him being an in the closet pick up artist, here’s one thing that really grinds my gears…he’s acting as if women are dumb. “Pretending to be boyfriend material/potential.” I think this sets men up to be pick up artists and to me that’s scary. Because there are men out there who really do treat women as the inferior and think we’re all dumb. The example he uses is baffling to me and I found it offensive. He said that if you go to Medical School, girls already think you’re a doctor. No dummy! You are a doctor when you get a Ph.D. You are a lawyer when you pass the bar. Any sensible person knows that you have to have the credentials to get the title. So no women aren’t dumb. I’m bothered by this because it’s like he’s saying as soon as women meet you and date you they think oh this guy is my boyfriend. Yes there are women who think that way. But there are also women who don’t. But to project yourself like you are boyfriend that to me is playing mind games. And all of that…just for sex?! Come on now.
4. Girls should be chasing you. No thank you.
5. And it seems like he’s advocating on playing with women’s emotions. “My friends want to know what we are.” I’m going to say it, I’ll probably get flack for it, but women are superficial. We like things that are tangible and something that we can see and control. We get caught up in the fanfare of being in a relationship. What you see is what you get. Why do you think all these bridal shows exist. Why do you think brides go nuts when something isn’t done right. Why do you think all these women want these huge weddings. Because….we want people to see what we have and what we are capable of. Deep down we really care what people think of us. We seek the approval of others. My friends and I had this rule back in the day. If we find a guy that we like…we can’t tell anyone about him! Because if we do, we’ll build up the hype, our family builds up the hype, our friends build up the height and when we don’t get what we want. We are crushed because all expectations from all parties wen’t down the drain.
This is all I can type for now lol. But my notes were huge and I had to condense them hahah.
Alexis
And…this guy seems to be contradicting himself.
In my mind, it’s like he’s saying trick a girl, make her feel like a piece of meat…but screen her as a girlfriend and make sure she’s doing all the chasing. Yes this is retention. And it’s so one-sided. But dating isn’t about retention. I don’t agree with that. It’s about tension. It’s about that push and pull force between two people. What does he have to offer, what do I have to offer.
I would like to see the dynamic between him and his girlfriend.
alia
Reverse the roles, and you’ll have guys throwing diamond rings at you. Seriously, this is absolutely the best advice for women. As scummy as it sounds.
E.
Don’t lose heart, EM. I agree with the others–standard issue LA douchebag on display. Unfortunately, there are much worse MRA and “red pill” sites out there (don’t go looking for them, as they’re a minority who’ll skew your opinion of all men). May is right. Dont buy any of this “let’s not have a label” nonsense if you’re looking for a relationship. This is just an ego trip for resentful men and a way to sell “male enhancement” drugs. And his other pages about “retention” just crack me up. I know he’s trying to making his approach sound “scientific,” but all I can think of is water retention and bloating lol!! Don’t let the douches get you down. Have a laugh at their delusions.
Eric CharlesKeymasterI gotta be honest…
This is a good article to read…
I’ve worked with guys and to be honest, if you want any guy to listen to any sort of relationship advice, he has to believe he’s going to get laid more (and hey, if he’s more attractive to women… he will)…
I’m not advocating the article’s aim (nor am I criticizing it)… I will say that it’s well written, well thought out… and frankly, plays out in reality.
Quite frankly… some guys want a relationship… a lot of guys, actually. Some guys aren’t interested in having one right now (I’m in this category at the moment, single by choice)…
The real issue is trying to force something to work… truth is, when it’s working, it’s so easy… so natural… so fun and enjoyable and happy… that you probably would never even think to question it… it’s obvious.
I’m just throwing in a voice of reason here that the article did have notable points to consider here… rather than react to it, why not read it objectively and consider it…
There are plenty of guys that really just want a great girlfriend who they love… I would say the majority of guys are like that.
But trying to make it work with the wrong guy? It ain’t gonna happen…
Dauny
I didn’t see an article, I watched a YouTube thing. As an adult I found it hilarious, but not funny at all when it comes to really young girls.
I think the old fashioned one night stand was a lot less cruel, in a way.EM
Eric,
you are right. When I think about my past relationships especially the great ones, things just happened naturally and I really enjoyed getting to know him without having to worry about.
I just became a little emotional because of my recent experience, but I will try to be more objective about it.
Thank you everyone for your input.
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