Thoughts?

Hi,
When he asked you go to over did you flat out say no or did you say I’d love to come over at some point but I’d ether we go out tonight ?
If you flat out said no , I can understand why he’s feeling rejected .
But good on you guys for talking it out .
What did he say to the comment about him wanting casual ?
Good on you for saying you want to see him this weekend – I would say the ball should be in his court at this point .
I think he’s being kind of petty now with his reply.
At this point since you brought it up yourself, suggest a specific plan – “dinner Saturday at 8?”
If his reply is sub par at that point I’d drop it .

*rather , not ether

Personally I expect a lot more from guys than that.
I would think if he were serious he would have tried to explain that he was not interested in casual .

Honestly I don’t see this guy doing much wrong.

Maybe you’re the type who wants guys who chase you even if you act cold towards them, in which case dump him.

Never will thank*

Oh also ,
Why not go to his place after 6 dates of going out ? There’s nothing too wrong with that – my guess is his attitude while he’s on dates with you is leading you to think he wants just casual , not just the fact that he started asking you to go over

Vera that was my thought exactly. His response to me saying I want to see him was kind of bland. A “sure let’s do that” could have been a little bit better. I felt like he was only agreeing to be polite. And yes I should have offered an alternative for another day.

And I have went to his house once before and have iniated one date. It’s only been one month. IMO I think the man should do the majority of the leading. I felt like me going over that one time gave him the impression that I’m okay with always doing that this early on in which I’m not. Also that’s what gave me the impression he is trying to transition to casual (e.g. Netflix and Chill) That’s why I declined his two attempts.

Dating is so complicated.

Have a conversation with this man if he gets back in touch with you. OR, invite HIM for drinks and discuss how you feel. Better to do this in person. And say thins nicely… This man is not a mind reader and is probably clueless to what you want.

But I wouldn’t expect a man to wait 3 months(like 20 dates) to see if you are interested in sex or not. They will give up(and I would too!}.

So the one date where you did go to his house involve sex? To me thats not clear, but it would make sense if it did. In a sense that he would only push for more homedates after that and you sensed him pulling away.
I think his comment: does this mean youre no longer interested is his way of saying that yes he is in it for casual. So he silently agreed to your question and then asked if that would also mean youre no longer interested.
I wouldnt invest any more time in this guy. I feel like he is leading you on with his cryptic talk

I think he’s using it as an excuse . You clearly showed him you were into him after by saying you want to see him and his reply was lame . He is being lame . If he liked you he would have been so happy to find out that you in fact do like him after all. His feelings wouldn’t turn off like a tap just because you said no twice.

How did that convo end after he told you he figured you weren’t into him?

And please don’t listen to anyone who scolds you for having sex wth him before bf/gf blah blah blah it doesn’t make a difference in the end .
The point is he’s not treating you well right now despite the fact that he knows that you do indeed like him .
Next !

Though I do agree with Kathy above – If it’s still not clear on his end that you are interested in more than casual then make it clear , be nice , do tell him but do no more than that if he doesn’t .