Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Threesomes. What do YOU think?
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Jen.
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Jen
My husband and I are fantasizing about engaging in a threesome one day with another woman (we aren’t actively looking for her, however). The fantasy is exciting, and I do feel up for it. This whole thing was my idea in the first place.
Today I got to talking to a friend of mine for some advice, and she informed me that she knew couples with the strongest relationships/marriages crumble after doing so. She said it is not worth the gamble.
What have you guys experienced? Did it negatively impact your relationship?
If the risk is too high, then I feel like my husband and I can keep this fantasy just a fantasy.
Scho
I think it’s so personal, no one can give you a good answer. My personal experience – I found it impossible to by polygamous. Meaning, I can’t have good sex with two different men at a time. I suppose though, there are women who can…
carol
go ahead and post
AngieBaby
You might want to go have an experience with a woman on your own first to test out exactly how up for this you really are. (If you haven’t had one yet.)
I’ve known a handful of couples over the years who have tried this. Two broke up after it and one barely avoided breaking up and agreed they would never do that again. In one of the break-up cases, the husband fell for the other woman they brought in, who then got pregnant and he left his wife for her.
Yes, it’s a a very high risk. You might want to stick to watching porn with threesomes.
Raven
Why not with another man?
Anderson
To each their own. But if I truly loved a woman, I’m not going to risk something that meaningful for a/few night’s worth of potentially exhilarating pleasure. Once you open a pandora’s box, there’s no going back. I would advise against it
Sure, there’s a lot of hypothetical questions/scenarios in life you don’t truly know your answer to until you’re actually in it. Maybe I’ll be eating these words after many years of marriage. But I look at who I am and the way I’ve lived my life, and a threesome with a spouse would be very uncharacteristic of me. Drugs are thrilling, so are one-night stands, and so is messing around with a coworker. And I’ve consciously avoided all of those. And it hasn’t made my life less exciting. Difficult choices sometimes. But in the end I was glad with my decicison. But that’s me. I’m happy to be vanilla even it makes me lose points in someone’s eyes.
If you want to minimize the potential risk, think about who you and your husband are and have been throughout your lives. If you rank pleasure and exciting new thrills very highly, and are incredibly open minded, then the threesome might work for you two.
Jen
@Raven: To be honest, having another man instead of another woman involved just doesn’t do anything for me. It’s kinda like the best of best worlds. I’d be able to do certain things to a woman that I cannot do to a man.
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In the end, the fantasy is exciting in itself. From what I am hearing so far, there is a high risk of heartbreak. A high risk of it causing a marriage/solid relationship to fail.
It seems to me like it’s absolutely not worth actually doing it in real life afterall. My husband means the world to me. He’s legit my best friend. Why would I want to lose that over a little kindness?
Jen
Stupid autocorrect. Kinkiness, not kindness lol. But thank you all for your input. Much appreciated.
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