Tinder in the time of corona

1. Absolutely not. It’s a matter of compatibility of core values in addition to health and safety. These just weren’t so visible and on display before the pandemic and so not part of early dating… so think about it as being fortunate enough to learn if you’re a good fit in times of stress way earlier in the process.

Is there still a drop down filter choice for how socially distanced you are? There was on some of the dating apps last year to help deal with this problem. Bumble definitely had one that ranged from will meet to socially distanced meeting to only meeting distanced with masks to virtual only.

It sounds like I share your perspective in how you’re handling things and meeting people, too. I personally walked away from men early in the pandemic over this (the specific men I met seemed less caring / respectful about others, less empathetic, maybe less interested in taking care of their own health, and I felt uncomfortable being physically close to them if I didn’t trust their distancing which isn’t fair to either of us). I then met a guy on an app who took distancing more seriously, and he’s great and we’ve been together 9 months now, serious relationship.

So don’t settle just because these men don’t like that you want to take things slow and be safe. I had a few men be extremely rude to me about it, including a couple guys I told my distancing measures to beforehand and met outside in person. Two of them waited until the second date to be really disrespectful about it, but glad they showed their true jerk colors early. Frankly, it seemed more like they were angry at me they didn’t have full control over the situation and weren’t calling all the shots on their own terms than anything else.

2. No. Those guys don’t know how to de-personalize it and say “okay, not what I’m looking for, disappointing but no hard feelings and bye.” In my opinion, you can use Tinder however you want as long as you’re not misleading about what you’re looking for.

I think people are responding less because it’s more effort and risk to date during the pandemic. So maybe there’s more loneliness and desire for attention and matches for validation, but not enough motivation to follow through and talk because it’s harder to get most people to agree to meet these days. And if they do want to meet, you may need to be more creative about the date itself if places are closed for lockdown or you’re meeting outside without a planned activity or you have to come up with an idea that works at a distance. There’s plenty of lazy people on dating apps. But there’s also people who are looking for genuine connection and will respect you.

If ANYTHING at all can emerge as a positive from this pandemic, it’s that it’s been a really good filter to show me a person’s core values and their willingness to care about others.

I was acquainted with more than a few people who aren’t at all careful about corona measures, and a couple who even went as far as to ridicule others about it. I have no idea how they feel now, many months later, because I hope to never deal with them again.

Thank you all for your opinions :)

@Maddie Great to hear about you and your guy!
we don’t have any filters here, presumably because that would make it more obvious that the user base is not that big. Time will show why people are messaging less. Tbh, I would rather someone message me months from now than nothing coming out of messaging now due to the situation.
I remember the first guy who unmatched me because I didn’t want to meet in March last year (1st lockdown, when we knew nothing about the virus), he came up in my deck again in summer when there were no cases in the area and it was an instant left swipe from me. He might have changed his attitude by then, but he’s marked as a no in my brain
Some guys here seem to be getting really frustrated and try to push the idea that it’s a hookup app and a match=compulsory sex. Well, sorry buddy it doesn’t work like that, it didn’t even before corona

@Lnj On average they are getting even worse as time passes and lockdowns continue

@Anderson I lost all respect for people who insist on weddings. Even if they live in a conservative society (extramarital baby is a disgrace) they could still just get the civil certificate and latter have a church wedding (or vice versa) and the reception