To those who have ghosted or been ghosted after months?

Umm that ola bitch is a true bitch.

Sorry but if your man wasnt treating you right then you tell him he isnt and you leave him.

If you have 0 communication skills and love toxic relationships you can vanish without a trace but that just shows how little you respect the people you apparently hold close.

As a child I had this boy best friend. He was the grandson to my neighbor a woman who I had grown to love and cherish and refer to as my aunt. He and I did everything together. We rode our bikes..caught lightening buys.
Played in mud..etc etc. I ended up moving as I turned 12 years old and we loss touch. Fast forward years down the line I’m at at grocery store. I see someone watching me. He looks familiar but unfamiliar. He calls out my whole government name lol and I realize it’s him! We hug and catch up in the bread aisle I ask about his grandma of course he asks about my Mom. I noticed him looking at me in certain way and I can’t help but to think is my child hood buddy attracted to me. I brush it off and w go our separate ways. Fast forward a couple of months… I’m walking down the street approaching the bank a car pulls up beside me..it’s him! This time he makes it clear that he’s not walking away this time w/o my number.

So months pass and as you guess it we’re hot and heavy. Dating talking everyday and making googly eyes at each other I’m on cloud 9.. sweetest day comes around.. we decide to take out relationship to the next next level finally..it was amazing! Weeks pass I’m pregnant and all the sudden it’s like we are on a downward spiral. In short, I loss the baby..loss myself and I loss my faith in him. I want out! I express that thoroughly but he’s unwillimg to let go. I stay but now we’re distant and it’s different nothing is the same.

It was a Saturday.. it was a blizzard expected a big one. He called when he got off of work to check on me. We had a normal conversation..lasted 30 minutes. He said he was about to take a shower and would call me back. The call never came! I called everywhere.. nothing! 9 months..a child and a childhood friendship and he’s just ghost? It’s week 2 of his disappearance…

@Ola you are so right , I did almost exactly the same as you stated and did so because of the same reasons it was 8 months btw and I feel completely empowered. Some others had good insights on why you shouldn’t ghost but having gone through the same situation as you I know it was the right decision. I choose me first ✊

My boyfriend just ghosted me on Friday. We lived together over a year and been in relationship for 18 months. He moved out when I was at work. In the morning I get standard message ,, have a good day, love you lots,, when I come back home after work all his stuff was gone. I message him, try to call but it went to VM. We suppose to move to another city together in 2 months. I’m devastated and don’t know how to pick myself up from what happen.

Ewa, I’m so sorry you are going through this. It was so cowardly and deceptive for him to go through the motion of sending his standard message to cover his tracks when he knew all along what his plan was. It’s a shock to have everything you knew for for 18 months change in a few hours without warning.

He knew. He planned. He didn’t just leave with nowhere to go. You’ll hear a hundred times if he could do that he isn’t someone you want to give your time to. It never feels like that when you are in the moment but it will. I promise. One day you’ll get up and it won’t feel so bad. It’s tough because you don’t know when that day will happen but it will.

DD, Lots of really great words you had! I’m glad your friend got through it and you were there to help.

I was ghosted after an 8-year relationship. We had broken off the relationship because she wasn’t sure about getting married after 7 years an a half. So, I decided to move back to my home country. The day before my flight, she drove 10 hours to wait at my sister’s house where I was leaving from to beg me to stay and get married. She told me that she finally decided and that the short time we broke up helped her to realize this was the right choice. We spent the whole night and day together, talking and making plans. The following week, we kept talking over the phone, till on my birthday I realize she doesn’t call. I call and I realize I am blocked. She blocked me from all her social media. me, my fam and friends.
What’s weird is that she met someone when we broke up, a month before me leaving, and still she went to talk to me. I found out she started a relationship with this guy. That’s why she ghosted me.
It has been the toughest 2 weeks of my life. I am heartbroken, confused, disgusted that she went there and we spent time together while she was dating this guy. I hope soon to be able to move on and forget this nightmare.

Not to be disrespectful, or add salt to wounds, but I always wonder in these ghosting cases, if there are red flags all along the way that the woman missed…

There have been several postings about being ghosted, and when I heard the full story, either she was the FWB, or she did all the chasing , etc etc…it was never a naturally developing relationship to begin with

“. I am older 45, he is 55. We have been dating 9 months. ”

You dodged a bullet TBH.
In 10 years, you will be 55 and probably in great in health, and you and all your vibrant girlfriends will be past raising kids and on to enjoy life. His body will be breaking down. So when your girlfriends are taking trips and playing tennis, you’ll be monitoring his meds and trying to figure out how to deal with him.

Lizie, I am so sorry, this must feel horrible. What a waste of flesh your 55 year old is. Do not feel embarrassed, people don’t vanish normally, it is still normal to end things with the person first and not just vanish as if you were hit by the truck. Most of us experienced some sort of vanish-ment in life (being ignored, being stonewalled, etc), so everyone who walked this earth for more than 15 years would know how awful such things feel. And if you dated him for 9 months and the last encounter was nothing out of the ordinary, then he is a moral degenerate, no less. Do not waste your precious energy on him.

sisi, what does ghosting have to do with FWB and not a relationship? you are not a horse or a dog. Even animals would feel anxiety attacks if they were just left by someone who used to be with them. It does not matter what type of a relationship or not you were in. Ghosting is done by people with no compassion or empathy for others, moral degenerates or half sociopaths. Most normal people understand how horrible ghosting feels to the other person. And most normal people don’t ghost. They send a text or a message, which could take 3 minutes of their time, and many still talk face to face when they end things, to show the other person respect and acknowledging their dignity. I am so tired of women justifying degenerate behaviour by the absence of some labels. You should know better and you should expect better.

Well, I met a great compassionate guy online in January of 2019.
We went out on three dates,texted over the phone alot. He always showed more interest in me in the beginning than vice versa, but when we went out a second time, I realised I really liked him.
lately he has expressed many times how he wants to see me and hang out. We bonded over many things.
He had to briefly move 13 miles away until June but even with that, he still showed alot of interest in me.
We’ve never been intimate, only hugged so we connected on a more below the surface level, but I felt that moment of us being intimate was going to occur very soon because there was alot of chemistry.
Anyway, just last Sunday he initiated a call followed by a text asking me to come see him at 11p.m.!
I was sleeping but returned his phone call the next day.
He was busy so we spoke briefly & he texted me asking which day can he travel to come visit me.
I told him a day & followed that with a text asking for clarity of what exactly he sees me as.I was not asking for commitment or proposing marriage. I just wanted to know if he saw me as A friend,or something more?
Only because I wanted to make sure he just was not into it for sex.
No response.It’s now been 6 days & I’m conflicted on whether or not I should message him.
I’m so confused, frazzled,distracted at work, etc. I’m devastated. Smh.My mind is driving me nuts. Did he meet someone else better? Did me asking for clarityturn him off? Was he not able to come see me because something came up & he was afraid to tell me? Family emergency? Whatever the reason, I’ve always been sensible, mature,open-minded & compassionate around him, so why would he feel like he could not tell me whatever the reason was? Ghosting is cruel, cold,etc.. and I just wish the ghosters would learn to communicate.
I’m thinking of texting him tommorow because I need an answer.

I didn’t realize how common this was until I looked it up. As a person who wasn’t allowed to date in hs and only had a couple bf in college, I never knew someone could be so cruel. I always thought ghosting was you meeting someone early on and they don’t like what u say or do so they ghost u. Clearly that’s not always the case. I meet this guy online. He was different from any other guy. He was sweet, nice, had a good job and went to school. He took very good care of his mom and grandma and he spent time with me and cared for me. He would give me compliments and encourage me while I was pursing my masters. He seemed like the perfect guy. But I know everyone is not perfect. I know he had anger problems although I never seen it. I know he dated alot of women in the past and that he told me he loved me early on into our relationship but I accepted that. We were dating for 6 months and we were a couple for 1 1/2 months. He lived an hour away but he would visit me and I would visit him almost every weekend. Everything was perfect until he just stopped texting and calling. The last thing he told me was that he would call me the next day because some people got fired on his job and he basically had to pick up the slack. He was exhausted. I told him I understand and that we can talk later. I should have known something was up because the day before he was texting less, but i just tired to understand how work made him tired plus school. Literally the next day he stopped replying. I text him like 5 times more. The day after that he don’t send me a good morning text or reply so I text him again. It wasn’t until I messaged him on fb, saw that he read the message and deleted his fb page which made me believe he blocked my number. I called it went straight to voicemail. If it wasn’t for that I thought something serious happened to him. I wanted to contact his friends and ask but he deleted his page so the only simply explanation is that I’ve been ghosted. Why? Idk. Everything was fine. He was telling me he loved me, although I didn’t say it back just yet. But I was falling in love with him. I knew he would be the one but I guess i was right not to tell him how I feel because he clearly didn’t care about my feelings to ghost me. He would talk about buying a house and having kids. Although it was too soon to make plans with me, he just hinted that’s what he wanted. He talked about meeting his mom and me coming to his graduation. I mean he was more into than me. I was in but I didn’t say it much. I wrote him poems and express how much I like and miss him but I guess that wasn’t enough but relationships take time. The only weird thing before that was one time his grandmother was in the hospital and he sent me a text about how he hopes she feel better an what Imma do? But he wasn’t talking about his grandma, he was talking about someone I knew. But it was weird because we was suppose to be talking about him so that made me believe that the text wasn’t meant for me. When I asked him about it instead of saying I’m sorry it’s for my cousin or some good excuse .He just said that wasn’t suppose to send to u. After his many apologizes I just ignored it because his grandma was in the hospital. Now that made me believe he probably ghosted me because of another girl but why would he deleted his fb and not his Instagram? The questions are haunting me. Nothing is more coward than someone who just disappears. At least reply with a I’m sorry or leave me alone but to get no reply at all means the reason can be endless. I called from a private number and left a voicemail and I left messages on Instagram and Skype but now all I can do is try to move on and not blame myself. It just happened so of course l I can do is blame myself but reading other people stories are a little comforting

Hey Teresa

That’s the same questions I had. It’s crazy how things like that happen. Hope that you’re doing well. My bf just ghosted me yesterday and sadly this is more common than I thought