Told him how I felt and he ignored me

Sarah it is extremely rude for him not to respond. I have noticed the more you push a response from someone the more they will ignore.

My advice right now is to let it go. For him to pull away after sex seems very odd since you were dating for 2 months.

If he doesn’t respond then you know that his intentions were not solid and if he was simply after sex then he is not the guy for you.

Honestly I’m in my thirties and playing a chasing game is exhausting. Why is it that being straight forward with a guy is needy?

I mean having dated for 2 months (never had the exclusive talk) is it needy of me to want to see him more than once a week ? We never talked about how we felt for each other.

It’s not needy.. he just isn’t showing high interest. So it’s pointless.

I have to be honest. When a guy stops reaching out and starts ignoring texts, he’s doing what is called a fade out. This is to prepare you for him ghosting and or pulling the plug. For some reason THEY think this is less hurtful and dramatic then straight up telling you they’re not interested anymore. What makes your message needy is he was already demonstrating a lack of interest and you were already demonstrating that you were interested. You didn’t need to lay your cards on the table; he knew them. Look at it from him point of view…he’s pulled back, he’s unsure if he wants to continue, kind of feels you’re being clinging and doesn’t know that a relationship is what he wants. So in the middle of thinking he gets an message from you that says “I really like you and want to spend time with you and have a relationship with you…” do you understand why he might freak out?

At the end of the day however I don’t think it has an impact on the outcome. He’s fading. Now he appears to be ghosting…which means you’ll never hear from him again. It’s not anything you did. He clearly doesn’t want the same thing you do and instead of telling you straight up he’s going to take the coward’s way out.

Sarah… how do you know that you guys were dating each other? How do you know that he was exclusive to you? How do you know that he was talking about you as if you were his GF? Here’s the problem with us women, when the guy shows interest in us, sees us day in and day out and always texts us we assume that they are our BF. In two months he thought about it. Had sex with you and started fading out. Why would you message him nice things? Why can’t you accept that he isn’t interested in having a relationship. It isn’t that he didn’t like sex… someone has to be really bad in order to turn off the man while having sex. It is just that he got scared you might ask for more. 2 months isn’t a long time and that man isn’t worthy of having a convo about. Next!!!

Thanks everyone for your input. I think us women, when we have that gut feeling its usually right. I guess I started having it and truly deep down inside, knew he lost interest and I was afraid to acknowledge it to myself.

Its bizarre though. he did contact me the day after sex. but as the days went by, the fade out started happening. Maybe showed too much interest ?

Sarah, it wasn’t anything you did. He was interested in casually dating and probably dating others. You want a relationship and that became clear to him. That’s not what he wants so he decided to do a fade. You’ve been with him two months and he didn’t make you his girlfriend or the relationship exclusive and that is telling. A guy that is really interested would have tried to nail you down before now. After sex he knew from your messages that you saw that as a oh step leading to a relationship. He did not. There is nothing you could have done, you couldn’t convince him to be your boyfriend and it would have been done at some point, whether it was two months or six months…the only difference would have been how much time you wasted on him.

Based on what you’ve said…this is my take

You’re in your 30’s
Been seeing each other for 2 months
just had sex last week
Obviously not easy… he knows that too
But after sex occurred…he’s gone
That was obviously the game changer
With him…don’t know if it WAS the chase
or you just didn’t ‘connect’ in bed
or, there is more to the story than we’re hearing

@Shannon and the others, thank you very much for your input – it’s always nice to feel some support from outside.

he also sounds like a prick to ignore you
not a decent guy
men will sweet talk forever to get the ‘prize’
and then *poof*

if a guy you slept with IGNORES you, do not reach out to him.

I agree he is fading out, but I disagree strongly that he is doing it to make it easier on you and to make it “less dramatic”. He is doing it because it serves his interests better and he does not care about your feelings. He can later come back and say sorry I was busy or something and there is a chance you would cave in, as so many naive women do. Every man understands what it is like for a woman to be ignored after sex.

Ignoring and ghosting is a character trait that should not be overlooked. A person has no consideration towards another person’s feelings. These type of guys are not going to be good BFs even if you get them to commit. They need to be avoided. Look for a decent person. Who knows how to handle things without offending or insulting a woman.

You slept with him too soon. Two months is not enough. You did not agree on sexual exclusivity, so you did not value yourself enough. Sex should not be that easy.

Being in your 30s does not mean anything. Many men are quite immature these day even in their 40s.

Hypothetically (and I may be wasting my time even thinking this), what if he does answer and what if he tells me he is not into me.

Did me laying my cards on the table turn him completely off in this case ?