Told him how I felt and he ignored me

If he says he’s not into you and doesn’t want a relationship you say “have a nice life. Sorry it has to end this way.”

You keep asking if laying your cards on the table turned him off. I think he was already gone. You didn’t want the same things. Whether you told him or not it wouldn’t have changed that.

A) You didn’t do anything wrong with laying your card son the table. You told him what your expectations are and if isn’t on the same page as you he will care less.
b) Who cares what he thinks anymore. You told him he didn’t acknowledge it…proves what kinda a material he is
c)Learning experience for you like one of the poster said… never get ahaead of the guy. Let the guy lead you. Let the guy tell you that he values you and needs you in his life.
d) Next time use your gut feeling if sleeping with this man worthy or not.
e) Move on and look for a gentleman not a boy

Best of luck Sarah

If you’re one of those people who chose to worry how a man will feel about you after you have sex with him, you should never ever sleep with a man unless he is your bona fide exclusive boyfriend. If you’re going to sleep with a man, you need to adopt an attitude of whatever happens happens. Own your part in the relationship and sex you had. Enjoy it, but don’t change your expectations of him. If you’re going to change your expectations, you can’t sleep with men who are not already your boyfriend, as simple as that.
If he says he is no longer interested after your text, that is decent and respectful. Leave it at that. It requires no other communication.
In this day and age, a man doesn’t owe you anything after sex, a woman is a willing participant and can make their own choices.
It’s almost an indicator he is really truly into you if he continues to pursue you romantically, after you’ve already slept together. When we talk about relationships in 2017, we look at it as a positive, conscious choice that two emotionally healthy people are making. If it feels right for both, both continue, if it feels forced or if one person is further along in their feelings and expectations, the balance is off, and the relationship can end. You are as much in charge of what you will accept as the man. You can end the arrangement at any moment yourself if you feel he is not matching you. But if it’s your fear and anxiety talking, not the real you, he will have a very hard time matching that. And it can be the same the other way around.

I think you’re looking at this the wrong way round. It’s absolutely not needy to state your expectations and say if you want to be exclusive etc. But you didn’t. So you didn’t know if he wanted casual or something more. You just assumed because you had 6 dates it meant something.

I think playing games includes not saying what you want. Just tell a guy your expectations next time, right at the start. He’ll either run away (good riddance) or he’ll stick around if he wants the same. If a woman doesn’t say anything, a lot of men assume they want casual.

In this case, either he sensed you wanted something he didn’t or he didn’t feel any sexual chemistry. Neither are your fault. A man can actually want a relationship with you and agree to being exclusive but not enjoy the sex and that’s fair enough. Women do that too.

There are no guarantees but it does help if he knows your position and what you want. Don’t ever be afraid to tell a man what you want. They much prefer that than a woman they can sense isn’t telling them everything and has ulterior motives

Dear Sarah, I like everything alia said and would like to ad some more:
You didn’t change anything with your message – either way. It would have been decent of him to write you back, but some people just don’t have the manners or the kindness – girls and boys likewise. They shy away from answeres.
That said: wasn’t there, in hindsight, any clues that he was just not that into you.
At least that’ s my experience and I would have ignored those clues. I think a woman knows when a man is into her. It’s not how many messages he writes, how often he calls. You just know, don’t you?! He makes you feel loved! (or not)…

My BF had a story about his date.. the girl was so overly obsessed over him that gave him a BJ on their first date and even slept with him. He said she was too clingy and when things didn’t work out for him he told her he wouldn’t like to continue with her she started going crazy and acted like a drama queen. This is once reason guys ghost away. They can’t deal with the drama and can’t break a girl’s heart. There are many guys who are just morons but some are just coward and don’t have balls to break a girl’s heart by just letting her know.

Women are throwing themselves on these men and trying to find happiness in them whereas it should be other way around.

I’m sorry, I’m not blaming women for men ghosting in them. I believe in personal responsibility. Women are responsible for their own conduct…if they behave badly they need to own it in order to make better choices. But I’m also not buying that man’s poor behavior is excused by a woman’s behavior. You either are a person of integrity and character or you’re not. If you sleep with a woman KNOWING she wants more than you do and then ghost on her because you don’t want to deal with the consequences then you are a douche. No excuses.

No offense, Algo, but I would never date a man who admits to ghosting on a woman. That tells you how he handles conflict…by not handling it. That’s not on any woman, that’s on him. People should treat one another with decency and respect. Taking advantage of a woman who you know has feelings for you and then throwing her out like garbage is not treating her with decency and respect and that’s a reflection on him, not on her.

I do think it is a common courtesy to let the other person know that they aren’t going to stay in touch anymore rather than ghosting on them. dating half a dozen and especially sleeping with someone does require an explanation.

For that guy it was just sex…. fine. But you got close to someone, intimate to someone. Be considerate. If guys re saying they wouldn’t have replied to such text then they have no shame either. Humanity first and then comes your norms.

I’m not sure KandyKane. I always ask myself if I would do this, if the sides were reversed, and as long as the answer is ‘no, I wouldn’t’, it means that the behavior under question is not acceptable.

And I would definitely reply to such a text. That’s why I would expect that a decent person would reply to such a text from me too.

In general, you reply to people (unless they are creeps, stalkers etc.) I reply to strangers. I reply to homeless people asking me for cigarets. Sometimes it’s just ‘sorry, no’ or ‘do we know each other? why are you bothering me’? It’s not about whether 3 dates, 6 or only 20 dates create an obligation. It’s just some basic decency and manners.

He had sex with her, they saw each other a few times. A simple ‘sorry, but I don’t think we can continue. I had wonderful time, but I think our expectations differ’ would not hurt the guy and it would only take him 1 minute. If she goes crazy afterwards, I would understand if he stops to reply (or even blocks her). She didn’t go crazy yet though.

We girls are raised with “basic decency and manners” and we get kicked if we aren’t “nice.” Men aren’t raised the same. They are raised to compete and be king of the hill. They don’t get kicked for not being nice to the geeky guy who always gets picked last for the soccer team.

Guys don’t see it the way we do. I”m not saying it’s right or wrong or good or bad. It is. Learn the rules of the game if you want to win. The natural order is, has been and will be, a man wants to work a bit to get a woman. I get a little sick of the prize term but it really does apply. Be a prize. If you are a prize all the games and stuff stops. Dating is fun when you are selecting from men who have qualified first.

He sounds like a selfish, immature, prick.
screw him and his inability to be honest. dont regret your ability to be vulnerable, that was brave of you, the sad thing was he sounds to weak to handle it. thats his issue not yours.

They aren’t all like that. my question to you is.. how was the sex anyways? be honest. i bet it wasn’t all it cracked up to be. i imagine he was absent minded and selfish…( seems like a pattern of his behavior. )

KandyKane

What about the women who are ghosted on after months of being in a relationship or even married/engaged?

Men / Women will do whatever to satisfy themselves at the moment. We cannot predict a persons behavior nor should we say “oh he’s a man” should of expected that.

I agree with you that we need to be the prize that means being confident and knowing your worth. If a guy is using a woman for sex then he is the issue not us. We use men for sex too as a matter of fact women can get lucky a lot faster than a man!!!!

Hurt and pain is inevitable when it comes to relationships. We can be with someone who says and does all the right things and then boom he shocks you with something. There was a woman on here not too long ago living with a man quite awhile who simply got up and left…never broke things off just left.