Told him how I felt and he ignored me

KandyKane, I’m going to leave it. I can give a crap less if a guy was raised to treat people badly. That’s not an excuse. And a guy that ghosts is not a “decent” guy. So I don’t think your four friends are that great. So you want to be the cool girl whI understand guys. Good for you.

My boyfriend would never ghost on me and he thinks that’s horrible behavior. He was raised better. Funny , once I stopped making excuses for men’s bad behavior I found a guy who treats me with respect.

There is no excuse for treating someone like that.

This man had only low interest if he only saw you 6 times in 2 months.He is very likely dating others and you were just one in the rotation. I don’t sleep with men who are sleeping with other women.

A man who is really into a girl wants to see a lot of her, and he makes a real effort to contact and spend time with you.

I think he was hanging around just to have sex and is gone now that he got it. I’m sure he’s sleeping with others.

This is why you have to set your own boundaries. If you will be unhappy with a guy who goes ghost (and it’s perfectly ok not to be “okay” with this) because he only wanted sex, then don’t have sleep with anyone until you establish what is going on.

Most women would not like to be in a casual (not exclusive situation) unless that’s all they are looking for.

And please DO NOT ask him what is wrong or why he doesn’t like you. Any response will NOT make you feel better, but it will come off as deep insecurity and and be an even bigger turnoff. If you and he aren’t a good match, fine. Someone great is the right match for you. This guys loss.

Men like a woman who is confident, knows her worth (and knows his opinion of her has no bearing on her opinion of herself) and has no problem walking away from a guy who isn’t on the same page or thinks he can be disrespectful.

I would not reach out to him again, ever. He’s being a jerk. I wouldn’t want a guy like that in my life .

As a woman and a mother of a 10 year old. I would hate it if my son treats women this way. I would never defend this sort of behavior. Maybe you shouldn’t show your BF that this kind of behavior is acceptable in your books. Better to keep yourself safe than sorry.

Let me make it simple for all of you, although it seems Phillgyirl gets what I”m driving at – you think low value, act low value, you accept low value… you get low value men. Also, you can either be willing to see it from a man’s view or not. Choose “or not” at your own peril. If you are high value you don’t get yourself into these situations and therefore it becomes impossible for you to be ghosted, because you weren’t over invested in the first place to even think you’ve been ghosted. You either waited for sex until you knew because he clearly demonstrated he was really into you and interested in a future with you or you had sex without giving a damn if he called again or not. And if a guy disappears, you think great, opted out and I dont’ have to waste any more time on that one, next one please! An advanced concept on this site apparently. Again, accept that or not. I did. My love life got amazing. Hope the same for all of you. Good luck girls.

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KandyKane sure but thinking high value means also not putting up with such crap (if it already happened), and not trying to understand or justify why it happened. There is no excuse for that and this is what OP should concentrate on at the moment.

Glad to hear though that you have never even put yourself in a situation that something like this would happen to you and that your love life is so amazing.

Shannon congratulations on raising your standards and finding someone who wouldn’t dream of ghosting on you.

I don’t know, this ‘hey babe’ text after hours as a reply to something as serious as you send sounds a bit inadequate. I wouldn’t like it. You can give him one more chance though.

He was ignoring you for days at a time wasn’t he? Then why are you still asking what we think? There are three pages of women telling you not to tolerate disrespect. So you pounded a response out of him, he felt obligated to answer, how does it make the situation better?

anything less than, I meant… darn phone

If you refuse to set a clear line in the sand and don’t require he step up (as KandyKane outlined) you are showing and telling him to disrespect you. You are effectively saying he can treat you like crap (and you’ll take it) because you don’t respect yourself.

We get the treatment we allow. What standard do you want to set? Always..always be willing and ready to let a man go who doesn’t show he values your time and attention.

He’d have to be bending over backwards to even get the courtesy of a conversation from me.

GOOD GIRL!!

Well he still hasn’t asked me out

Having sex with the guy doesn’t always make or break things, but how you act afterwards does.

Men know from experience that women tend to bond more after sex. So it could be he is sensing a change in you and that you seem more into him, which is why he is pulling way back. Men don’t bond through sex, so to him it was just a release, but your message to him shows you feel more. Many times men will pull back after sex to see if you are cool about it, or start to get clingy. It’s just the way it is.

It’s pretty obvious he is backing off. He may continue to text ocassonally to keep you as an option, but he clearly isn’t moving things forward. I would save my pride and let this one go, unless he steps back up again and starts taking you on dates again.