Told him how I felt and he ignored me

I am sorry, but the man texted you after you had sex, right? He may not have set a date then and there, but he did contact you. You then proceeded to send him good morning texts that he then ignored and then you sent him that serious text. All of this communication was excessive from your side. You were only dating, but if sex was such a big deal to you, you should have discussed it with him before hand and what your expectations of him will be. He is not a prick for not answering your good morning texts and for taking his time to answer your last text. He should have probably called you, but at the point you sent that last text he couldn’t be bothered, it was too much drama. He still reached out to you just now and it sounds like he wanted to smooth things over. He is obviously in a very different place in this relationship than you are, but that doesn’t mean his stance is invalid or bad. His text and conduct did not meet your expectations. Perhaps you didn’t ask enough questions to get to know him? What his goals are, compared to your goals. Perhaps you glossed over some of his disinterest to fit your mold? Were you afraid to speak up? That does not make this man a prick.

We can go back and forth all day about what you should have done and shouldn’t have done. It’s pointless. It’s done. Moving forward…

I would pull back, reestablish some neglected ties with friends, start reading a good book, sign up for a class, do yoga, etc. Focus on YOU.

As for him, I would not write him off completely. Men are very different creatures from women. He may have been mulling over the things you said all day…they tend to process things differently than we do. The promising thing is he apparently thought it over and STILL came back and said he wants to keep seeing you. I do not see that as negative at all. It took him time to respond, but he still responded.

But from here on out….let him send you the good morning texts. Let him tell you when he wants to see you.

His last text to you confirms you are not on the same page. He was never invested in your relationship at the level you expected him to be, or at a level that you were. There are men out there who will be invested and more at this point. Now they may not be men you like or are attracted to, but they will be willing to give you a relationship you want. Be careful with some of them because if you expect a man to move this fast and lock you down within the first few dates, he may be a bit possessive and controlling. There is a difference between commitment and control if you know what I mean and it can appear like one another.
There is also a fine line between disinterest and someone being careful. Watch a man’s actions, every date he spends with you and how he interacts with you and if his conduct makes you comfortable. This includes treating you casually. Noone is saying you are wrong to feel the way you feel. But you can’t assume everyone you date wants a serious relationship with you, especially if you didn’t ask questions and have a conversation about what you’re looking for. Tell a man you date clearly what you’re dating goals are, so that he too has a chance to decide to continue or end it.

Why are you even wasting time wondering what to do? Is that the kind of guy you want to date? Really?? He doesn’t seem worth any effort at all. You’re interviewing HIM to see if he’s worthy of YOU!

Shannon you have got to be kidding. That has to be the crappiest advice ever. The chances that he will come back and actually treat Sarah right after behaving this way are pretty much nil. What happened to all your words a few pages ago about how unacceptable ghosting is?? Although I see Sarah bit on it right away. I don’t think she’s learned her lesson yet. If a man behaves like this early on, it will not get better. He might make a little effort here and there but only to keep you on the line.

Alia that was some good advice. I see the guys getting blamed and name called here often rather than focusing on the real issue.

Sarah I suggest you throw this one back and take it as a learning experience and go meet other guys. But it’s your life.

@Alia and Kandykane YOU ARE RIGHt I need to move on. I got all confused this morning. BUT I am ok now. I need to move on.

Totally agreed with your earlier posts, KandyKane and now with your latest one! Shannon was all like we should not accept this! And now, give him a chance. What??

He has made comments to me before like “you must be talking to other guys” and I would respond “i could say the same thing about you” and hed answer “ha ha not quite”. but im sure its a game.

He is not talking to other guys. He is right about that;)

First, you need to be clear about what you REALLY want before you date.

Your comment that you weren’t looking for something purely physical is hardly specific. I think you are afraid to clearly say what you do and don’t want, for fear of rejection.

I never worry about what a man thinks of my personal or relationship goals. He can take ’em, or leave ’em, but if he wants to date me, he has to show me why he’s worthy of my time. And I don’t mean that to sound rude, but I’m not trying to waste their time, they damn well better not waste mine.

I would not give a man the time of day (that disappears after sex) unless he can prove he was unconscious, or had a very good explanation. And I mean it when I say PROVE.

Throughout this thread it’s been expressed that YOU set the tone for how others respect you, or DON’T.

You need to be watching a guys actions (early on, and continually) to see if he displays the traits you value, in order to keep seeing him.

In my opinion, and how I approach it is: whether he wants to see me is less relevant than how he makes me feel (is a gentleman, considerate, respectful, showing real effort/intent) and how he treats me.

Ladies, GET RID OF THIS NOTION THAT A MAN’S INTEREST IN YOU IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR INTEREST IN HIM. In other words, don’t invest in him until he proves his worthiness and remember you are the PRIZE. That means he needs to show he is WORTHY of you.

This guy is not that in my book. Next!!

Sorry about my english, not sure what happened there I was just getting caught up in the moment.

HES PURUSING SOMEONE ELSE.

f that. Do your thing and hell come crawling back to test the waters with you once/if things fail with this other chick. He’s not your person. You deserve someone that lusts over you as number one and youll get it!

He’s being gluttonous babe. He’s all stoked that he’s getting all this attention from these to beautiful women and he’s playing it cool with both of them (cause he has to split his attention so neither one of you fully feel like youve got him) his ego is rising cause he thinks he’s killing it but i tell ya, if you want to burst that bubble, what i would do is respond to his message with a clear concise and brief little bye message projecting that you see thru his immature games, and you are too wonderful and have better things then to play. youll walk away with the respect and hell also respect you for it…

but im more of a drop the mic kinda gal. some people might say they dont deserve your energy but i feel empowerment from knowing i had the final word…

up too you :)