Trying out new dating behaviours

I agree ladies. It DOES NOT matter when you have sex. I have done it on a first date, and then with others I have waited months to get intimate. Outcome is the same. If they JUST wanted sex, they will stop talking to you waiting after 2 months as much as they will the first date. If they truly generally are interested in you, they will call after the first date. Guys don’t care about how long a girl waits. They care about how strong the connection was.

Looooool Raven chill out. I asked for his payment details? That’s normal. The information you ask for when you want to pay someone back.

For the handful of women who can have sex whenever and not get attached, it doesn’t matter when you have sex. But for the majority of women it does matter – they assume too much and get attached too fast when they have sex within the first handful of dates. For most women they need to keep the brakes on until they know who they’re dealing with and as one person put it, keep your legs closed.

FYI Dylan, “keep your legs closed” is an American expression that isn’t as crass as you took it. I’ve heard it. It’s meant humorously and it just means slow your roll. I think some Americans may be a lot more blunt than you’re used to – I don’t think anyone here has meant to do anything but help you out. It tends to be mostly Americans here from what I can tell.

I remember your other post about the guy with girl stuff in his bathroom from a few weeks ago. You thought there was instant chemistry so you slept with him on the first date and got hopeful of seeing him again and then he confessed he was seeing someone else, is that right?. Just my two cents – I think you take too much on face value and you put too much stock into feeling you call the “immediate click.” He says he’s looking to settle down. OK great. So give it some time and see if his behavior matches his words. He was already trying to sleep with you. Maybe England is different but guys in the US who say they’re looking to settle down aren’t trying to score right off the bat, they want to get to know you first. That’s not the best sign IMO.

Also, what’s with insisting on going dutch for a glass of wine and making a fuss about paying him back to the point of giving out your bank details?? Let a man buy on the first date! And it was just a drink – I”m sure he could have afforded that. You want to see a man courting you a bit.

My advice is go slow with a guy and have fun on dates while observing and getting to know him before you get intimate or get hopeful it could be for real. Takes a little while before you really know who he is and if he meets your standards. Act like a lady but think like a man. Steve Harvey book very well worth reading. Good luck out there!

Also – I think we’ve talked this thing to death. We’re both in different countries for Xmas so I won’t speak to him until I get back. Have a great holidays everyone until the next time I require advice ;)

“Wish me luck!!!”

—Good luck!! And Merry Christmas to all !!

“keep your legs closed”

lol, good one.

My first serious long-term relationship said this when we bumped into each other in my late teens a couple years before we dated.

Funny thing is, he was the man whore, not me.

@A

True, but from an emotional and general safety standpoint, for females it’s probably wise not to engage in sex with any ole’ “tom dick and harry” too soon. But if their feeling it, then go for it.

I guess it all boils down to how the woman is built emotionally and where she is at emotionally.