turn bootycall into boyfriend (need guy’s opinions)

How has he changed in the way he treated you? And how is he just treating you as a bootycall now if you’ve never had sex with him?

Unfortunately, it is unlikely that he will become your bf if he’s already put you in the casual/FWB category. You can’t “make” someone have feelings for you or want to be with you. If he has decided he doesn’t want to pursue a relationship with you, you have to accept that.

How did you “refuse” to have sex with him. If you treated him poorly and that he shouldn’t want to have sex or feel bad about it, he was probably turned off and you hurt his feelings.

You refused to have sex and now you want to apologize for it? Did he tell you those words that you “refused it poorly?” How did it hurt his feelings? I’m a little confused on that part. Is he trying to make you feel bad for saying no? If so, then that’s not okay. But I might be reading this wrong.

If you don’t want to be treated like a bootycall, then don’t act like one. You set the standard on how you want to be treated. And if he cannot accept that, then you need to walk away. You cannot make someone into your boyfriend. They have to WANT to be with you. They have to WANT to be in a relationship with you.

Kelly, what we are saying is that you can’t be a booty call without having sex the first time. If what you are meaning is he’s only calling/text late at night ONLY and he’s not taking you on dates or making an effort to do anything. That means he was only in it for the sex. He gave up and now is just testing his limits.

If you want him to keep courting you and treating you with respect you need to tell him. You could play it off like Ivy was suggesting with her “Your so funny….” stuff. Then send him a text saying you don’t do casual hooking up. Most guys are aware that most women don’t do casual dating.

With the bf title thing, that takes lots of patience and you have to want him for who he is, he’s not going to change. The more you press on the topic the more he’ll never want to be around you. If you’re mind is on relationship mode and that’s all regardless of who he is as a person … and you’ll take anything as long as he gives you a title, what does that say about you?

Please don’t feel bad that you hurt a guy’s ego because you didn’t want sex. Bottom line is, if you don’t want sex, you don’t want sex. You shouldn’t be shamed or guilted into having sex. When guys are denied sex, yes they do get upset. But please don’t feel bad about this. Looks like this guy didn’t manage his expectations of you.

Ivy is right in the sense that the more you try the more it won’t happen. Having sex with a guy doesn’t and can’t make him your boyfriend.

Author Kara King said it best, “Can’t turn a ho into a husband.”

I just want to add that I feel a bit confused by your interaction with the guy so it’s possible you are giving him mixed signals and not being clear and hence that is the reason he is treating you in a manner you don’t like. Initially it did not seem that way hence my post but the more you write the more confused I am, and the more confused I feel about how you contributed to the confusion with the guy.

When a woman is clear with a man. I will only have sex with a man that is committed and exclusive with me, then an upstanding man will agree or decline, or say he must think about it, if this isn’t happening then you were not clear.

If you have been dating less than 1 year, then it IS casual dating…you don’t get to really know a person in a few weeks…I don’t blame him one bit for treating you like that…not only are you giving out mixed signals, you’re kinda acting like a “relationship whore”…sorry, but that’s not the way to go about getting a good guy to marry you.

Kelly, Talk to him directly and tell him that you understand that the two of you had some miscommunication, tell him that you would like to date and get to know him but in order to be sexually active you would want exclusivity, then wait for his answer.

Anythign else besides direct communication won’t work.

Ivy

Ok I’ll try have a direct communication. I also want to show him how cool I am.. what do you guys usually do when you guys show how cool you are how sex you are? I tried to look happy and gave a lot of jokes. I think he likes it and laugh.I pretend to be busy and having fun without him. He looked interested in what I did at work especially. what else I can do more?
I saw some positivie signs from him. I could feel that he wanted to have more time with me. He said he want to take me out later and he wants to listen my opinion about his moving. Because he’s planning to move with his friend soon. he asked about this before, at that time he definitely liked me so I didn’t recommend to move. I don’t know why he came up this issue again tho. he said he wants be with me more. so we talked a lot and played.. for example he tickled me and showed me his picture at work, talked about his colleagues and he wanted to share musics he likes with me. and he cooked breakfast for me and drove me home in the morning. I could tell he likes to hugging me. when I laughed, he laughed too. also he hugged and kissed when we departed and said he thanks me to come over and hopefully he wants to see me again soon. also I could feel that he stares at me whenever he has chances. I don’t think it’s obvious but I believe those are good signs

JR
Hmm..Sounds like me. so sad

JR

Thanks. Those good signs happened last time we had a sex. So I believe still have a chance to develop. how long he ghosts usually?

redcurleysue

I’m not really sure he likes me.
even if he likes me again, maybe he doesn’t as much as he did before.
Once he treated me as a bootycall, it might take some time and efforts to get him back to like me as before.
well.. we’ll see
thanks

So things we’re looking up with this guy i was seeing and at one point when he got a bit drunk he told me he likes me but i asked him what, he said something else. My concern though was he doesn’t contact me on the weekdays to check on me, or send just a simple hello, he’d contact me on friday or sometimes thursday to see what I am doing and my friends are getting concerned that i am just a weekend girl. and i 3 weeks ago was the last blow, coz i didnt hear from him at all until i messaged him on saturday and he didnt respond until 5 hours later, and he eventually told me that he had a big night the night before and i told him i was going out and he told me to have fun. the following morning, i decided to end it. i sent him this message… my dear ____ I think by now you know that I care about you… I have very much enjoyed our time together, but as amazing as you are, my needs are not getting met. I get the sense that we’re not on the same page and I am getting attached. I don’t want to be your weekend girl, or to any man for that matter. I need a man who is looking for a relationship and you don’t seem to be that guy, so I’m calling this off… No hard feelings. I want to wish you in finding the woman of your dreams. I’m going to find that guy :-) Good luck to us. Take care of yourself.

my friends didnt want me to send this text message coz they prefer i say this to him person and another friend said not to do it coz i am blind sighting him, but i didnt even know if he still wanted to see me. and i guess i’m scared what his reaction will be. It’s been 3 weeks now and he has not responded to the message, so i am guessing I made the right move, but it still hurts a lot. i thought that he cared a lil bit but seems not. I am missing him and I am close to texting him. I’m lost.