Unmatch on Tinder after hooking up. How would you feel?

out of curiosity: how do you even can see that someone unmatched you? Or that someone is online? I guess mine don’t show it, so is it some advanced version of Tinder?

You sound like you may have some self-esteem issues because you have been trying reeeaallly hard to present yourself as strong/independent/’high-value’/mature/confident/whatever. Generally if you have to talk yourself up so much you probably aren’t. This isn’t meant to be an attack, just an observation and perhaps a nudge toward self-reflection.

Here’s the problem with casual sex: you aren’t hooking up with someone who cares about you on *any* meaningful level. You are having sex with another person who wants to have sex, so even if you’re this great ‘high-value’ person, the person you’re having sex with doesn’t really care.

BTW Silvie,

I’d advise you not to sleep with men you meet online until you know what they’re all about them……they could be a good guy..but then again, they could be on their best behavior when in public, but when they get you behind closed doors they may hurt you.

Everything worked in your favor, and thank God you’re safe…but please don’t do that again.

I realized why he probably deleted you.

I bet he has a LOT of matches he is going through.. the women he has already dated..he un-matches, whether he likes them or not. If he does like them, he knows how to get hold of them..
He’s going through his long list and checking women off..

Is it okay to ask the person though why he unmatches you?

I usually agree with the majority of advice on these threads, but in this instance I think there is way too much emphasis being put on a guy ‘un-matching’ you on Tinder. Who CARES why hes doing it — if what you said in your first post was true? You said you really “….aren’t looking for anything from him or any other guy….” If youre not — than none of his actions on the site matter (unless hes being vulgar, disrespectful, etc). OF COURSE hes chatting up, dating and hooking up with other girls. It is his prerogative to do so — as it is yours.

Im glad you’ve realized that you need to work on your self worth before you could ever attempt NSA sexual interactions. It is definitely not for everyone and I have ambiguous feelings about it myself, though it felt very empowering for me when I did it. Im not looking for casual anymore so don’t really have to worry about it.

And I appreciate posters bringing up safety concerns because that is SUPER important. I had a strategy I used when I met guys on Tinder that I strictly adhered to (first being I rarely slept with a guy on the first date)– but I know even with all my safeguards there was always a chance I was taking.

Mainly what I wanted to say is that you should not be ashamed or discouraged that it seems to me like you want a relationship. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with that. Own it. Be proud of it and make sure the guys you meet are looking for the same thing. Feel at peace with your desires – but also be careful to be honest with yourself or how can you expect a guy to be honest with you?