Upset over boyfreind talking to coworker

I’m upset over my boyfriend in regards to my coworker. I’ve been working with her for years and she’s never invited me anywhere or tried to get to know me. Her hubby is an opera singer.

My boyfriend and I attend a real nice church with a choir. We are on the board of directors and we have meetings for new things, chorus, art and bake sales and such.

A few years ago, boyfriend came to eat dinner with me at work and she was there. Out of the blue he told my coworker that he was “thinking about this for a long time” and asked if her husband would like to join our church to sing in the choir. She looked at me as I was stunned…. She seemed somewhat interested but nothing came out of it. He and I discussed how upset I was that he did not talk to me beforehand.

Last year I have asked her to come over for dinner or go out and she said she and hubby are “germophobes” and don’t do that type of thing. Yet recently they invited a NEW employee and her hubby to their house for dinner, and when new employee told me she looked shocked.
Shortly after that I was out sick one Sunday, she and new employee n work for a week, new employee texted me that she made breakfast for her while at work (I was out sick that day). She once again looked shocked when new employee told me(again) in front of her.

She then announced she was going to start making breakfast for me and new employee every Sunday, and all three of us were to bring food to cook together.
On Sunday, new employee called out sick and I asked her if we would be cooking anyway and she said no she is going to order out.

I didn’t understand and told my boyfriend how upset I was and didn’t know why this is happening, as she and I never had a problem and seemed to work well together. I told him that I don’t feel comfortable with her being involved in my personal life as my church is me relax/free time/out of work enjoyment time.
Recently we went to a work party and my boyfriend was milling around as was I without any issues.

Tonight, my boyfriend was going to take me out for my bday, but there was a meeting at the church. He was going to go and pick me up later. He texted me asking for coworkers’ husband’s phone number for the pastor as they are doing choir auditions. I was shocked and texted that I didn’t have his info and said that we would talk about it when I see him. He seemed perturbed and texts sorry to bother you.

Unbeknownst to me apparently at the party, boyfriend talked to her and her husband about husband singing in our choir, and her husband was VERY interested. NOONE told me about hits conversation. He said while at the church meeting he texted her husband and told him about the auditions, but when he saw how upset I was he texted husband back and said the auditions were filled.

I’m not upset that her husband would be singing at the choir, it is the non-communication. Am I overreacting?