Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Urge to “cheat?”
- This topic has 5 replies and was last updated 1 year, 2 months ago by
Tammy.
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Mary
I want to be honest here and would like advice without judgement. I have been in a very serious relationship now with my boyfriend for about 4 years now. I am extremely happy, we obviously have our arguments here and there but nothing we don’t fix. Our communication is great, i love him and truly don’t see myself with anyone else but him. I want to have his kids one day, start a family, etc. however, I’ve had this strong “craving” for the past couple weeks now where I really just want to get dressed up, go out to the bars/club and just flirt with other men. I want to emphasize that never in a million years would I ever act on this. Just thinking about it makes me feel guilty, let alone actually betraying him by going out and doing that. Is this normal? I will say that I am still relatively young. I’m in my 20s. Please don’t tell me to break up with him and go “live my life.” I’ve definitely lived my party life throughout high school and college. The life I truly want for myself is to be a good wife and a good mother. I know that all it would take is one night. I would come home and realize how unfulfilling it was to spend the night talking to a bunch of guys that want nothing from me besides to sleep with me. I would NEVER trade the man I love and the man who cares me about genuinely for meaningless conversations with meaningless guys. I just don’t like that I’m even having these thoughts. Is it normal to be tempted like this?
AngieBaby
I think in your twenties, totally normal to want to go kick up your heels for an evening. Everyone likes a little variety, even people who have been together a long time. It doesn’t make you a bad person or a cheater. The more you resist these thoughts and judge and make yourself bad for it, the more you will keep having the thoughts. If you say to the thoughts, it’s OK you’re here, is there anything you’d like to tell me and then listen, you’ll find the thoughts may have an underlying message for you that you need. Whether that’s the case or not, the thoughts will naturally fade away or not bother you if you just accept them. Doesn’t sound to me like you need to break up with your BF.
Raven
Try some role playing with your BF…
Act out your fantasy with him!
Ewa
why aren’t you going out then? it is normal and healthy to have a night out without your partner , to get dressed to impress haha I think it is also important for women’s confidence to see if she still attracts other men, nothing more than that.
Ewa
why aren’t you going out then? it is normal and healthy to have a night out without your partner , to get dressed to impress haha I think it is also important for women’s confidence to see if she still attracts other men, nothing more than that.
Tammy
Could it be that your craving for sm excitement? Smtms we kind of get settled to a comfy routine. So try out new things. Be the initiator, suggst and do difrnt things to spice up your romantic lives.
In case this craving for going out there and wanting to meet other men, persists, then you may hv a problem on ur hands. Many of us want to marry and get settled with a nice guy, have kids etc. But thats a generic feelin many women hv.
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