Vacation and talking to the person you are dating


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  • #451961 Reply
    FaLaLa

    I started seeing someone a month ago. Everything was good until he went on vacation. We texted once at the beginning of and have not spoken since then. He left one week ago. I am not sure I should expect to speak to him because we are not serious, but my friends generally think this is horrible. I will not try to reach him, but I do not know if that is good to just cut off all communication.

    #451965 Reply
    Khadija

    Let this man enjoy his vacation please.
    If he is interested in seeing you again he will contact you further upon his return.
    Since you don’t know much about him, you can’t speak on what vacation means to him.
    I for one contact my loved ones when I arrive but, after that I don’t want to be bothered.
    My idea of vacation is enjoying the said place I’m visiting and leaving everything else back at home.

    #451981 Reply
    bluedream8

    I posted about almost the exact same thing but in reverse, I was the one on vacation and wanted him to contact me. Following Khadija and other’s advice I learned that when someone is away on vacation, perhaps especially a man, they should just enjoy themselves and not worry about communicating during that time off. This is especially true if you have only been dating for a month and if he has only been gone for a little while.

    Base your viewpoint of him on what he does once he returns rather than on what he does when he is away. It might be a little annoying that he hasn’t texted but don’t let a little thing like that grow into something you can’t fix. Let it go and you’ll be happier :)

    #452089 Reply
    FaLaLa

    I think it is hard to tell when everyone has a different opinion, especially friends who think there is an obligation to keep up. To go from daily contact to no contact was confusing. I will wait until I know he is settled back home and see what he will do.

    #452134 Reply
    alia

    The most important lesson I’ve learned on this forum is to stop wondering what someone is doing and not doing and focus on what I think of that person and how do I feel about them. And focus on the quality of time spent together not apart.

    #452145 Reply
    P_Asohka

    and to not over invest in a man you’ve only known a month. Does it matter what he’s doing? HE’S ON VACATION. Let him be, he’s enjoying his time with freinds/family whatever.

    With this mindset this early on you won’t be able to handle things as they progress. Texts will start to decrease or yet if he’s busy at work or with life stresses and he becomes distant this mindset will over analyze and become nagging.

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